Whenever my husband goes to the store or to run errands and I ask him for the totals he always tells me wrongs amounts. I find out the next day when I check the bank account the correct amounts as well as that he actually used the debit card to pay for everything instead of paying for some things with cash. This bothers me because I pay the bills and try to keep the account in good standing and him spending more than he tells me messes things up. He lies about how much he spends and he lies about how much he actually deposits. Plus he withdrawals money for no reason. And ok...so he wants money in his pocket...that's fine. But not when I just told him we barely have anything in the account and on top of going to the store he takes out extra money. I just don't understand why he keeps lying to me...is he hiding something? He leaves for basic soon and we'll be apart for a long time after only being married a few months...this really upsets me and bothers me. Can I trust him?
2007-04-12 07:41:48 · 9 answers · asked by lilcherryblossomangel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Money is one of the biggest issues a married couple face. You two need to learn to work together. Instead of asking him how much have him hand you the receipt. Do the bills together so you both see what is coming in and going out.
2007-04-12 07:47:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is serious and a major issue. Well actually you have several issues going on here. First of all, you are acting like his mother, and he is behaving like a child avoiding a scolding when he won't tell you how much he spent. Secondly, if you want something done right - do it yourself! YOU go to the store.
You need two separate accounts; well actually three. You need a joint account that is used ONLY for paying the rent or the mortgage and the other bills. Then you need your own account - and so does he. Sit down with him and both of you set an amount of what it will take to pay the bills each month. You should already know that anyway; you should know your budget. If your work has automatic deposit, often you can specify how much goes into which account. Have the money automatically deposited in the accounts. Put enough in the joint account to pay the bills. Then whatever is left over can go to each of your accounts. That way if you or he want to purchase something such as a CD or new outfit, each is responsible for their own. If he blows all his money on frivolous stuff then he has to tough it out until the following month - and he can't use your money. (If you save your $$$ the first few months, then when he blows all his money and you have to cover a bill, you will have the funds. It will also teach him to do without when he overspends.) But the joint account should be used ONLY for bills such as rent/mortgage, phone, electricity, cable (if wanted), gas, and groceries.
It's unfortunate you married him, but that's who you chose. He still has a lot of growing up to do. It will be a long, hard process. And since the military provides all his needs I doubt he will learn much about money management in basic. You both need professional counseling.
2007-04-12 10:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about you, but if my husband's generosity was to the point that he sacrifices his own financial well being in order to give to relatives obviously used to the hand outs, I would just have to say something. It sounds like he either needs some kind of therapy or he has these relatives convinced he is financially secure with his self employment. Either way, there is a problem compounded by his lying. I couldn't handle that.
2016-04-01 11:26:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty and communication is key to any relationship. I would suggest seperating accounts if you feel that you can't trust him. Does he have any type of explanation to where the money goes? What is he spending it on? Maybe he is really bad at math.
2007-04-12 07:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by thezenfulclover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably lies to you because YOU KEEP NAGGING HIM ABOUT IT....SO STOP!!!! If you want things resolved, talk to him maturely & don't be so strict with him if he needs pocket money, unless he's unemployed & not making or contributing any money to your checking & savings account. You need to ease up when it comes to money.
2007-04-12 07:51:23 · answer #5 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just love to lie. He IS a liar. He would climb a tree to tell a lie, rather than stand on the ground, and tell the truth. I can't stand liars! They burn me up!! The only time you can trust a liar, is when his lips aren't moving!
2007-04-12 07:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe Marriage is a partner way of life. But you need to take charge here. Something is very strange.God bless you.<><
2007-04-12 07:51:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was married to a woman like that for thwnty years and I still dont know why?
2007-04-12 07:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by Honest Injun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"why he keeps lying to me...is he hiding something? " You have to ask HIM
2007-04-12 11:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋