A guy I work with had been showing a lot of interest in me a couple of months ago, and it continued for that amount of time. There were serious stares, lingering glances, trying to run into me, dropping hints, etc. Still, it was clear that nothing could happen because of company policies. I showed interest back, just not as clearly, but he knew I was interested as well. Then , as soon as he reviewed my work and gave it a lot of compliments (the first time he was exposed to it, and he really liked it), he changed. He doesn’t try to talk to me anymore when he walks by, he avoids looking into any room I’m in, he gets nervous when we do talk (whereas before, he was very outgoing and energetic when we talked). He has been SO proper to me, and before he was so “carefree”. A couple of days ago, though, in a conversation I made a really good point in convincing a third person, and he was looking at me with a big smile on his face (and in his eyes!), he seemed to really admire the way I showed my knowledge. But, overall, my behavior hasn’t changed at all. I wasn’t showing any more interest than usual, I was treating him like I always did – so, it’s not like I acted clingy and scared him off, or gave him the cold shoulder. And, I know for a fact that he is NOT seeing or wanting anyone, so no change there either.
A friend of mine said that, once he started to admire me, he stopped seeing me as just another “pretty” face, and that he’s keeping his distance because he’s afraid of what could happen between us. He really WAS very interested before, and yes, it would be a dangerous relationship – but is my friend right?! Or do men simply lose interest just like that??
2007-04-12 07:36:54 · 8 answers · asked by Melissa N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is my superior by quite a bit, I was hired not too long ago, so I'm not getting a promotion any time soon. He did not get intimidated by my work (as I said, I could not have his job).
But, there were a couple of people who would walk by us and look, now that I think about it. Maybe he did get scared of what others would say...
2007-04-12 08:02:38 · update #1
That's weird. Is it possible he became intimidated by you, professionally, and decided that a relationship couldn't work? If you can't talk to him at work, can you take him to lunch or something, and see if he's still interested? Maybe you just need to get him out of the office to get your answer.
2007-04-12 08:09:39 · answer #1 · answered by Shepherd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like after he had seen your work product , he became intimated by your professionalism which is common
for a lot of men . They have a hard time accepting the fact
that women can do a better job then they can . At this point
he probably is also feeling insecure around you for this
reason . That why he has lost his confidence in him self.
So what he does is to avoid you so that he does not feel
that way anymore . Its a control thing . Your probably better
off moving on because it sounds like he is to weak for you.
2007-04-12 15:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by S.O.T.C. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back away from this relationship potential. You're using your imagination way too much in a situation that is guaranteed to be detrimental to your job. He probably isn't interested enough to do much of anything and amuses himself by sizing up and fantasizing about new women on the job. If you left and went to work elsewhere, if he was free (God help us, tell me he's not married to boot!), would he call you and ask you out to dinner and actively pursue you? You could give up this job, go elsewhere and see what happens. Do you care that much?
Your question reminds me of girls in college fantasizing about how the professor likes them. Yes, he may enjoy the view from where he lectures to the class but that doesn't mean much.
2007-04-16 13:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take into consideration that he may be stepping back a bit to allow you to excel at your job. It sounds like you are a good worker and your efforts are being noticed, wouldn't it be a set back if a fellow employee says you and him are having a relationship. Also what is the policy at your work place on employee relationship. I have work at places that "frown" upon relationship between manangement and employees and management to management. He may want to allow you to get this promotion and not screw it up or put his job in a stressful position. Be patient, if it is meant to be it will happen.
2007-04-12 14:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by MD67 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he most likely feels threatened by your work ethic ! if he has reviewed your work performance he has also reviewed your pay scale and feels like he's not able to make the same money you do - as far as feeling awkward those are 2 very valid reasons that could cause it .
2007-04-12 14:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by mac227@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does it matter? You said there are company policies so whether he liked you yesterday and not today is not relevant. Move on.
2007-04-12 14:44:54 · answer #6 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop Him Hunny,Too much work!!
He's a drama queen and that's just a big ol hassle!!
2007-04-12 14:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by dez79837 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's attracted to you, but once he discovered how good you are at work, he doesn't want to jeopardize your job--and his.
2007-04-12 14:43:22 · answer #8 · answered by geehaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋