An old friend of mine suddenly came up to me and said that he wants to marry me??

Question

i nearly chocked on my food .. we are quiet close friends .. known each other for about 9 years..

its just out of the blue and i never see him in that "special way"
i was eating when he just came over and sat down and said ," do u know that i always wanted to marry you?" afterwards he laugh it off and started gobbling his food..

it kinda set me thinking is he for real or joking around . we are both in mid/late twenties and neither of us are in any relationship.

people what are your thoughts??? im going to freak out anything soon...

Answer 1

I think you may have just ruined the poor guy's day. You've probably misjudged his intentions all along and when he FINALLY got the nerve to point blank you, you blew him off.

Answer 2

If you really are close friends, you should be able to talk about it. I have a feeling he was embarrassed and he probably didn't plan on telling you that's why he chose to laugh it off. Because why would he tell you that out of the blue???

Maybe he's scared he will lose you as a friend that's why he hasn't asked you out yet. He might think he scared you off, especially after seeing you almost choking on your food. You have to evaluate how you really feel about him. If you think you can be in a relationship with this guy, then go for it! Ask him out! This shouldn't be such a big deal since he kinda proposed!:)

It seems that you might have some hidden feeling for him too since you are freaking out about this. Because if this wasn't a big deal, you would've joked about it with him and probably wouldn't have thought twice about it.

Friendships are the best foundation for a good romantic relationship. Best of luck!

Answer 3

He obviously fears you will cheat on him if he isn't by your side 100%, my mother in-law is the same way toward her husband the same way your husband is toward you, they are both clingy-types. I don't know the ideal of marriage you had in mind considering most people have their own little fantasy world of what a perfect or almost perfect marriage is. simply put, the man loves you and adores you and is afraid of losing you if he isn't by your side. I am afraid though theres not much help that can be done for your husband, the clingy type almost always stay *clingy* You could always have your sister or someone watch the kids for 2-3 hours while your husband is at work so you can go out and do whatever but be advised that usually turns into infidelity over time if you get too used to doing that and want more and more time alone.

Answer 4

Wow, that can be a shocker, especially when you had no clue they felt that way about you. I would first question what you want for the future? Does he meet your expectations as a someone you would like to spend the rest of your life with? How good do you know him? How has his past relationships gone, and how well does he treat his mother? How many things do you have in common, (Outdoor Activities, Morals, Values, Life Goals) or is he someone you feel you can respect, as well as learn from? Because if you don't somewhat check into this you may regret it in the future. So if it was me I know that good friends, true friends are hard to come by and when I get married I would want to be married to my best friend. Hope I could help. Good Luck.

Answer 5

First of all, don't get carried away by what he said. Saying that he always wanted to marry you is different than asking you to marry him. Before you freak out, find out what that was all about.

Since the subject came up, and neither of you are in a relationship, a nice, honest, friendly chat may be in order. Ask him what he meant by what he said, if he really has feelings for you, how serious he was, etc. And if you have feelings for him, you may want to put them on the line as well.

Most couples start out as friends, and then become romantically involved. And they have the best relationships.
You may want to explore this possibility too.

Answer 6

There is nothing to think about. You say "i never see him in that 'special way'..." End of problem, though you may want to spend a bit less time with him for a bit. Allow time to pass before you decide whether to keep this 'relationship' as is, or if you want to consider moving forward with it. If you don't already think of him as more than a friend (or at least the possibility) then don't give him reason to think you do. The longer that sort of deception goes, the more damage it creates. If you want his friendship, and nothing more, then don't give false impressions, and he should not do so to you either. You might have to have a long sit down chat with him to clear the air. Either way, you've already said you aren't interested in him romantically, right???

Answer 7

Similiar situation here...i met this guy at an underground race, had no interest in him whatsoever but we became really close friends. He never said anything about him having feelings gor him but one night we were out clubbin and i ended up crashin at his place, we were watching a movie ( IT i'm terrified of clowns) and he put it on because he knew i was afraid anyways i went over and laid with him on the couch...Shortly after he started getting closer and closer lol and then he started holding me and that was that..He asked if i wanted to stay the night again the next night and i said ok thinking nothing about it...Anyways we got their, we were watching a movie he was sitting right next to me and he looked over and said " i want to marry you." I was so shocked to hear this and i gave him no answer the next day he texted me while i was working and he told me he loved me, i couldn't stop thinking about him.. I fell for him.......We have now been married one year still going strong and very much in love.....
Give the guy a chance you may never know exactly how you feel until you try, i sure as hell didnt and come to find out i have never been this happy in my life and have never met a man like him he is one in a million.....
your might be too:)
good luck

Answer 8

Ah, male and female friendships can certainly be tricky. Lots of times one or both parties will fall in love. It's hard to say what the case is with your friend, maybe he meant it--which can really complicate things quite a bit. He could've been joking--you know, just to see what he would say. Don't freak yourself out, but now may be the time to really analyze his behavior--this could be serious.

Answer 9

Sounds like he wants you, but is afraid of rejection and ruining the friendship if you say no. If you are interested in him like that, go for it, just remember if it don't work out you may lose a good friend. You two really need to talk this through before you jump into anything. Good luck.

Answer 10

You're probably the only woman in the world he ever wanted,
Deep down he probably knew you only wanted a friendship.
He needed to find out even if it meant being rejected.
This so he can move on with life & maybe find another woman to fill the empty hole left from a dream that might never come true.
So he put poured out his heart & soul to you, his deepest emotions & asked.
laughing is simply admitting that your friendship is better than not having you at in his life.

Answer 11

I bet it was for real.
I remember, my best female friend.
I didn't understand my feelings for her. I mistaken them for love? And well, i probably freaked her out too. Except, she was mature about it. And continued to be my friend. I don't know how she did it. I really didn't understand my feelings until later... when i found love! Wow. But... damn... having a very good friend or best female friend as partner... could be very sucessful! I would think now, that i wish i found love, and a best friend combined. Usually, it is the lack of being a BEST FRIEND in my last few relationships is the reason why they ended....