about 4 years ago. she is a female. never new them to be close. i met her a couple times. she rubbed me the wrong way, and was very rude to another girlfriend of mine. also met her husband who seemed like a nice guy..well fast foward 4 years (present) and he gets a email about "hey how the heck is life treating you and blah blah blah" they exchange emails back and forth enough to know she is getting out of he navy and is getting or is divorced... now she wants to meet him for dinner... he asked if i wanted to.. i said is she bringing a date he said no.. i said that would be a bit uncomterable.. im no going.. so he is going to go anyway to some seak house.. and it bothers me. am i being paranoid.. how would you feel about this... my husband has showed me all there email interaction, he is always like that.. and he seems to have nothing to hide, and i have been married to him 7 yrs and have never had a reason for mistrust.. i think its her i dont trust... i dont know,,,let me know
2007-04-12 07:13:03 · 48 answers · asked by Z 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Follow your instincts about this woman.
On the plus side, your husband sounds very open. I like that he has told you about this and asked if you wanted to go to dinner. You should definitely go to dinner with them and be really friendly to this other woman. Show her your best side. Either she'll turn out to be a nice woman (which I doubt), or she'll realize that she can't interfere with your marriage and will go after someone else. Now go hug your husband for being such an open guy.
2007-04-17 18:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what ur feeling... Being able to trust the person you love is one thing but being able to trust a stranger with ur husband is a totally different subject.
If you have had minimal contact with this person then you are not able to make a fair judgement on character. So in short yes you have the right to be concerned. The best way to deal with the situation is to talk it out with ur husband and make sure he knows your true feelings. This may help him see things through your eyes. Ask him if the situation was reversed how he would react. Good luck and always remember don't turn a conversation into a yelling match.. It wont help things if he feels you are just looking for an argument.
2007-04-12 07:24:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I wouldn't like him going, but being part of adult gives you the freedom to make choices that other people wouldn't. If you say he can't go then you are being a wife who has to monitor his every move, but by letting him go shows you trust him. I would of course go as well. I'm not stupid either, he may be completely trustable but you and I both know how a woman can manipulate a man without even using a word. There are things in this world we hate doing but I would go even if it makes you uncomfortable. Be nice and laugh, say you are quite an amazing woman to go through all that. Learn to patronize. You will come off as looking like a really great person because you weren't jealous and you were so sweet your teeth ache.
2007-04-12 07:24:48 · answer #3 · answered by faith 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with him. I don't care if you don't like her, go with him anyway.
Like you said, you've got no reason not to trust him, but something doesn't smell right... and if it's not him, that only leaves you and her. You'll end up sounding like a controlling, over bearing wife if you start throwing accusations around later without even being there. And if she does have evil plans toward your husband, what better way to curb them than to be there when she's trying to put the moves on him?
2007-04-12 08:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being paranoid, I think you need to nip this in the bud, every-time I have been invited out by and old female friend or flame it came to know good. Be thank-full that your husband has kept you abreast as to what is going on, if she is that close then invite her over far a barbecue or something. Meeting, alone no way Jose.
2007-04-12 07:24:01 · answer #5 · answered by Scuzzy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He has hidden nothing from you and been up front. He's a good guy. He has the right to have friends and even as his spouse you don't get to pick them for him. Go to dinner with them and enjoy being around one of your husbands friends too. She may have been rude to your friend wrong 4 years ago but that doesn't mean she can't be a friend of yours also.
2007-04-12 07:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, I would feel uncomfortable, but you can always put the ball in your court, if I were you, I'd go with him. That way she can see he's happily married and no monkey business..if I were he, I would have invited her over, with your permission instead of going out. No matter how much you don't like her and how rude she is, you're taking the control back in the situation and situation ahead. If after that, she continues to want to see him, I'd def put my foot down. He's not on the market anymore obviously, and if she respects him and his marriage she won't try anything etc..Good Luck!
2007-04-12 07:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your husband included you in the dinner date then you need to go. I would not trust the other woman. It sounds like she is after your husband and if it were me I would not like it. You need to let the other woman know that you know what she is up to. If she were any kind of a woman she would have included you and she would also have a date for herself instead of only wanting to be with your husband.
2007-04-12 07:30:26 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't be worried about your husband. He seems to be trustworthy and he did show you the emails which indicates that he isn't hiding anything. But if you feel this meeting is a bit uncomfortable let your husbamd know. Trust me he cannot read your mind. Maybe there would be an easier solution.
But I would've gone to the dinner.
2007-04-12 07:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by CHEEKS69 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go with him!
That is the beset advice I can give. If she is a ***** to you, he better make her back off. You are his wife and no 'friend' should treat you like dirt.
Esspecially some chick he hasn't talked to in years.
I have some personal issues with situations like this because my dad cheated on my mom.....I say go with him!!! Be uncomfortable but be sure there is nothing going on.
She may be looking for something to happen! You have every reason not to trust her....you don't know her!!
But she rubbed you the wrong way and that is reason enough to go and sit in!!
2007-04-12 07:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by hollyshaney 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋