I am a single mom with two kids, who is seriously pursing my degree in Nursing. I have a siyuation that threathen to change that all. I recently discovered that I am pregant and the father and I recently broke up within the last three weeks. Neither him or I are equipted at this time to take on a major responsible such as a new child. He lacks education and fianacial support to take care of a child. He lives with his mom at this time. This will be his 1st child and this would be my 3rd. I do not want anymore kids. I want to quietly terminate the pregancy. He is extremly upset and against this idea. I feel after years of struggling with my first two, I simply want no more kids. Am I making the right decision, to follow my heart and do what is best for me and that is to terminate the pregancy. I despretely want to acheive something, such as earning my degree. Having a baby at this time will greatly hinder me at this time. Help!
2007-04-12 07:00:02 · 31 answers · asked by nisha 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Did I mention that I have been on welfare for five years and I have absoulty no family support. I have been homeless for the past 6 months, I now live in a shealter, but I certainly did not do this on purpose. My ex- boyfriend does know that I am pregant, but he quit his job two years ago and still doesn't have one now. So I just feel that he his shoving a bunch of crap my way. I was a lmost at the point where I wanted to give up natural kids because I had no way of caring for them. And though things are just begining to shape their way right, I strongly feel I am not ready for another baby. I don't want to cut my potential because i made a mistake. I have already sacrificed so much for my first two. I want to start to live life for me know. I want to begin to enjoy life, instead of living in this cruel cycle of poverty.
2007-04-12 09:28:18 · update #1
Bless your heart - what a tough situation! In my opinion, there is a purpose for everything. What if this child is intended to change your life for the better? I wholeheartedly believe that God allows no accidents and "accidental" pregnancies are often special blessings. I hope you'll reconsider terminating. I know it will complicate your life, but you WILL make it and get through it! It's just a different path, a more difficult path. Have you considered giving the child up for adoption? You can bless another family who cannot have children through the life of your unborn child. Good luck and God bless, whatever you decide.
2007-04-12 07:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by LP 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to terminate your pregnancy in order to have a degree or a career.
You can take on line courses. To complete your degree. I don't know your circumstances so I can't be sure. I was a single mother for 41/2 years so I can understand how you feel you just want that sense of an accomplishment. I still struggle with that feeling now. And I have a fiance`.
This is something that you are going to have to think about very hard. Just because you terminate the pregnancy that doesn't mean you lose the feelings you may have about the child. It is something that you will remember. You could always put the baby up for adoption.
How does your ex-guy feel now knowing that your pregnant?is he making any efforts to show you that this is something that he really wants? you can always let him raise the child and you just have visitation or joint custody. I just think that abortion is so harsh. You really should think about this a Little longer, before you come to a conclusion.
ALSO, remember everything happens for a reason, you may not know why now, but you will when it's time.
I hope you make the right decision and good luck.
If you just need to talk feel free to email me, if I can help in any way I will try.
2007-04-12 07:14:55 · answer #2 · answered by ~Skittles~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok I am completely against having an abortion, but I really respect you for going back to school and being a full time mom, you could always give it up for adoption but that might not be the easiest thing since the father wants the baby, but if he is not fit to be a father then he would most likely not get custody but then there is always how would you explain it to your children, so if you have not told anybody and you want to terminate the pregnancy you should do what your heart says but really think about it because you don't want to regret anything, and if you cannot financially or emotionally have another child, then it is probably best for you, best of luck to you, and make sure you finish school!!!
2007-04-12 07:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let these holier than thou people get to you.. Do what in your heart you know is right, and what is best for your life, why bring another person into the world that you may recent If you are just making it with your current two then there is no way you can make it with another one (with out help) ,, but i suggest that if you do terminate you look into birth control so this does not happen again, because do you really need that on your conscious But i'd recomend the mirena IUD becasue it gives you 5 year to determine if you really are done with having kids and to get done with school
2007-04-12 07:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by manda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened to birth control? Have you seriously considered what termination of life really means? One of the 10 commandments is "Thou shalt not kill. No, I am not a religious fanatic. Consider having the kid and putting it up for adoption. There are plenty of people out there looking for newborns that would be willing to pay your expenses and adopt your child. Think out all your options before doing something you may regret later in life. And good luck with your nursing career. You can do it pregnant or not.
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2007-04-12 07:13:08 · answer #5 · answered by piratephyl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no good advice for you. I'm sure you must be going through a ton of emotions. Only you can know what you can live with. I would suggest going to talk to a crisis pregnancy clinic and just talk it over with someone there. Also, do you have a church or anyone that you highly respect that you can talk to about it?
If you have an abortion, will you be able to live with yourself? Or will you constantly beat yourself up over it? I recently had to make a similar decision. I couldn't do it. When I talked to the counselor, she told me they do grief counseling for moms who had to have abortions. Many times the girls (I know you're not a girl, but...) have an abortion because they are in school and have a lot of important stuff going on in their lives, but after they have the abortions, they lose it mentally, and drop out of school and can't focus on anything. So, if you're going to do it, just make sure you're mentally prepared.
God bless you, and I hope you find the right answer. The counselor also told me that God will bless me and help me for making the right decision. So, if you believe in God at all, just remember that.
2007-04-12 07:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by purplebinky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your situation and I'm sorry that this has happened to you because you seem to be on a good track to making a good life for you and your two children. But I really don't think abortion is the right thing to do. Talk to the father and see if he is willing to put the baby up for adoption and both of you do the open adoption, that way you can watch the child grow up and live a very happy life with a mtoher and father that want it. And that way when you are older and you start reflecting on your life you won't feel like you made an innocent child pay the price for something that your didn't want.
2007-04-12 07:06:31 · answer #7 · answered by supermom12042702 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Giving life to a child is the greatest achievement of all!
I understand how you wan to feel accomplished beyond that... just from my own personal experience.. abortion is awful... you not only risk medical problems.. but the guilt and sadness that comes with it is unbearable...
Have you ever thought of giving up the child for adoption?
If you do a private adoption the family will most likely help pay for the medical bills etc... so you could still go to school...
Good Luck And God Bless!
2007-04-12 07:12:21 · answer #8 · answered by allyn h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all.............Ask GOD if he would like for you to "quietly terminate" his gift. Secondly if you had no intentions of having another child why didn't you get your tubes tied? Or use protection? There are so many couples out in the world that can not conceive a baby then there are women like yourself who are selfish and thinking about killing a baby. If you can not care for the unborn child then give him/her up for adoption. Let someone else who WANTS a child take him/her in as their own.
2007-04-12 07:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by spoiledsweetpea80 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. However, you should probably have a pretty good idea what causes children since you already have two. In that case-is it selfish of you to have an abortion instead of allowing this life to grow inside of you? There are other choices.
You are person in the end who has to live with your choice-and you might be right-maybe another child isn't what your future needs. However, whatever you decide don't put yourself in this position again. Be responsible so you don't have to decide if your child will see the world or not.
2007-04-12 07:08:34 · answer #10 · answered by TerWii 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋