You know you're drunk when..?

Question

;)

Answer 1

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Specificity
British Constitution
Passive-aggressive disorder
Loquacious Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
Nope, no more booze for me
Sorry, but you're not really my type
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight

Answer 2

You know when you're drunk when....

1. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
2. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
3. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
4. Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
5. That pink elephant followed you home again

Answer 3

You use a barstool as a walker.
Oh, wait..... that's how you know if you're a redneck. Well, I guess that's also a way to tell when you're drunk!

Oh, I got another one! When you're at Waffle House at 3 AM and you answer the phone and say "Waffle House, can I help you?........ Sorry, we're closed"
(A guy I knew did that once before falling asleep at the table.... hey, I made another redneck joke!)

OH! One more! You wipe before you're done peeing! (More for the ladies.... and yes, I did that)

Answer 4

You talk about all the troubles and worries in your life, about the spiteful people and their airs and graces, annoying wives and how they boss you around, but actually you won't know you're talking about those stuff. You'll feel grouchy and sleepy, your face'll turn red. Your eyelids are heavy. You have more strength than usual. Why I know this much? Not because I've drank before. No way. It's because... well nevermind.

Answer 5

you wake up at 6AM on a Sunday in an alley behind the bar, flat on yer back with yer pants down around yer ankles and a pile of what you hope is dog doo next to ya. Ya get up and walk out to the front of the bar and see yer car with the drivers door wide open and yer car keys laying there in the street. And a voice in what is left of yer brain says, "I wonder if I'm still married?"

Answer 6

You start praying to the porcelin god. Your bed is spinning so fast you have to hold on. You pick a fight with the front door. You try to order breakfast from a bank ATM. You drive into a tree and honk at it for not getting out of the way. You see Morg coming for you.

Answer 7

The guy at the end of the bar who looks just like Marty Feldman appeals to you in a teddy bear sort of way.

Answer 8

I knew I was wasted when I was at a bar and they had on an interview with kelsey grammer and I said that I thought he was a sexy. If I had been sober those words would not have come out of my mouth. 50 shots in one hr is my limit.

Answer 9

When that really ugly guy starts to seem the most attractive person in the club. And when I end on the floor

Answer 10

When I jumped the fence at my buddies house and tried to go beat up the local High School band while they practiced.