i can't face him when i leave him. if i leave a copy of the divorce papers, along with a letter, and simply move into my own place, if that a fair way to end a rocky relationship?
2007-04-12 06:31:12 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you do that, then one day he will look back and know you were a coward, and he will never be able to respect you.
Like it or not, that's how it will be. Nobody judges you on your intentions in the end. They judge you on your actions. His actions, your actions, everybody's actions have consequences. Live with it because that is how it is.
2007-04-12 06:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you got to do what you have too! There's no right way to leave. If you are scared of him then a letter is the way to go. If you can't deal with the drama any longer then again a letter is the way to go.
He should by now, know that you aren't happy and have been thinking of leaving. If he doesn't, where has he been? Explain your feelings in the letter, make a copy of it too. That way it can't be used against you if the divorce ends up being a messy one. It's just a safety procaution.
It may not be the fair way to end a rocky relationship, but it proably is the safest and cleanest break. I guess you can't talk to him any more, and you just can't mentally handle anymore...so write your letter, sweetie!
I am so sorry that it's come to this. When you get married with all your life planned out, I know you didn't ever imagine having to write such a letter. It's heartbreaking, but it's not the end. You got a lot of living left to live, and please make yourself healthy and happy! Take care of yourself, please!
God bless us all.......
2007-04-12 13:41:57 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is rocky or you are scared of him, do not just leave the information for him. You need to have some serve him with the papers. If you just leave the papers and it ends up being a messy divorce, without proof he can always say he was never given any papers and can sue you for divorce on the grounds of abandonment.
A lady in our community, who everyone thought had a great marriage, moved all of her stuff out one day while her husband was at work and had the papers served to him as soon as he got home.
If the relationship isn't abusive it would be better for all parties involved to talk to him and give him the papers yourself.
2007-04-12 13:42:56 · answer #3 · answered by just being helpful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you ashamed of that you can not stand up and face him? Why can't you talk with him? It is not fair to walk away with a letter. He should have a chance to voice his feeling also. A rocky relationship, why is it rocky, because you never talked to him. If you talked to him , did you talk at him or discuss the problems with him ? My ex would not talk to me either, I tried the day I showed him the jewelery receipt for diamond earrings , he told me 5 lies in 5 minutes and moved out the next day. He would not discuss anything. The reason he could not stand the truth thrown in his face. He ended up seeing the truth in the dipostion along with his girlfriend who I named as correspondent, (she is my youngest sister). I tried calling her and talking with her she would not answer the phone. She called and left a message on the phone that I can't even write in this format. Have not spoken since. That was 4 years ago. Face the music
2007-04-12 13:43:03 · answer #4 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two ways to look at it. If by leaving a note you are trying to avoid a nasty confrontation then I would do it exactly how you plan with the letter, however if the reason behind the note is because you know he will talk you out of it, then you may want to reconsider the whole leaving thing because the only way he could even begin to talk you out of it would be because you still have feelings for him which means you will wind up back with him no matter how you leave. I hope it works out for you and good luck!
T.
2007-04-12 13:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by ThePleasurePlayground.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not exactly fair but since the relationship is rocky a face to face may not be the right thing either. At least you didn't just leave and not explain. That would be totally unfair.
2007-04-12 13:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Wilma S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no fair way to end a marriage. But, the court will look at you as abandoning the marriage and your chances of getting anything are slim or none. If you can't face him then YOU must have done some really bad things during your marriage.
2007-04-12 13:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not sure there is a place here for the word fair. He must be aware that you have filed for divorce so maybe it is better to avoid the confrontation. What is there left to talk about?
2007-04-12 14:19:58 · answer #8 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No-because the only way to deal with a problem is to face it head on- You don't have to face he alone have a close friend standing by. For you own sanity face it so that you can move on without feeling guilty
2007-04-12 13:38:35 · answer #9 · answered by Real Talk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U will hate urself later 4 being a coward hun. Life is best when faced head on.
Good luck and it will be bad but not as bad as you think. Just keep your head up and do what you know u must.
2007-04-12 13:37:26 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋