if you really love ur spouse would u even think about an ex " questioning the what if's????

Question

Im just wondering, my ex who is now married says he loves me ... but i don't believe that, i dont really care, it's just that im wondering if he is married how can he love me? he told me he always wonders what would've been if we would've stayed together. Im married too but i just ignored his comment. i dont feel the same way because i love my husband, i do wonder what if but with an ex i don't talk to anymore. But it's not like im gonna do anything about it anyway

Answer 1

Love is not a feeling, it is an action. If your ex loves you he will do what is best for you, which is to not mess up your current marriage.
Don't engage in these conversations with him. He is messing up his second marriage and has no idea what love is. Tell him to go love his wife, it's too late for you, and he can always wonder but that's just wishful thinking. Tell him to go get help with his new marriage, and let it rest. Go live your life and stop worrying about his.

Answer 2

First off, I think he is most likely having problems in his marriage - this is usually what makes people seek distractions, and the past often provides such distractions. He is escaping his present situation by engaging in the "what-if" game; he doesn't love YOU, he just needs something to think about, something to make him feel worthy - and perhaps your relationship made him feel good at one point. So he goes back to it and deludes himself into thinking that something is still there. It is not YOU per se that he is interested in.

And yes, someone who loves their spouse will still think about the past; we all do. But if a person is confident in the choices they had made up to this point, they don't play the "what if" game too much; they realize that things had gone down the way they were meant to go down. If you feel good about the choice you're making, you probably will not be "what-iffing" five years down the road, even if the circumstances have changed. But if you simply stumble through life without giving much thought to your actions or motives, then there's plenty of room for regrets and second-guessing yourself. Sounds like your ex is stumbling through life.

Answer 3

its totally natural to think what if! I would not think about it too much. I mean I love all my ex's. Not in the way I love my wife though. Each one of them touched my heart in someway so to say I don't think about them or I dont love them is simply untrue. I would just pass it off as ok yeah he loves me cool. Your married he's married nuff said. Leave it at that and dont worry. What if's are always going to happen. Be secure in your decisions and be happy with what you do.

Answer 4

My ex hubby additionally cheated on me with a sixteen year old (he replaced into 25). i'm not sure why he chosen to stay together with her different than she have been given pregnant, yet i think of i would be attentive to why he cheated on me with a youthful woman... he replaced into feeling old and mandatory somebody plenty much less immature and youthful to remind him of what he replaced into lacking. i'm not asserting it replaced into the best ingredient to do, however the certainty of the priority is that as quickly as we get older, some human beings cant cope with it and locate techniques including cheating with somebody youthful or consistent with probability older to handle it.

Answer 5

There are always what if's we get them all the time. I wonder that a lot especially when certain days roll around. If you really love your man than stay with him or else your inviting trouble.

Answer 6

there are allot of what if's in the world. what if u won the lottery or what if i married a superstar the point is u are with who Ur suppose to be with and if u love Ur husband then that is all that matters because we all have what if's

Answer 7

I think we all have the what ifs. That is normal. Some of us feel like a failure when we can't hold our marriage together. This could be what he is feeling. If he is telling you that he still loves you I feel sorry for his wife. He should love her completely.

Answer 8

wow that seems like a bad sitution. Does your husband know that you are talking to your ex? It sounds like you are playing with fire. You need to cut the ties to him completly.