Isn't it obese people's own faults that they felt hurt......?

Question

after listening to some strangers' conversation about obesity??

A lot people said that it's rude to talk about obesity in front of obese strangers because it's hurting their feelings yadda yadda....

But, how about eavesdropping? isn't it rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations?
So, whose fault was it that their feelings got hurt?

Afterall "Nobody can make anybody feel bad about themselves unless they allow them to" Quote by a name that I couldn't remember.

Answer 1

obese people shouldn't feel sorry for themselves, they only have themselves to blame, for eating too much. Unless it is a medical condition or something they should stop feeling like targets of abuse and sort their weight out

Answer 2

If I wanted to have a conversation about my feelings on obesity in the privacy of my own home and said something to the effect of, "I think obesity is gross", I should be 'allowed' to say that. If I found out that an obese person was standing outside, pressing their ear against my door - eavesdropping- I'd be pretty pissed off and would NOT feel bad at all if they had their feelings hurt.

It similar to the same reason why people tell you not to snoop around through other people's stuff. You will always find something you don't want to see/know and that may upset you. Who's fault is that? It would be your own.

Answer 3

Well, for one thing, answering questions is not eavesdropping. People say that words do not hurt but they do hurt some people. It is a personality thing. Some people who are fat truely cannot help it. They have eating dissorders, and other people poking fun is not helping that. I get offended when people say the word retard, because I have a special needs son. However, I am aware that it has become an everyday word in the American language. I used to use it myself until I had my son, then I learned how hurtful it can sound. Even just using it causually sounds bad and offensive. A retard could do that. Are you are so retarded. Words hurt. Even if people say they don't or you don't have to let it hurt, sorry we are human, and they hurt. I am sure that your feelings have been hurt before for other reasons think about that time, and then you might be able to understand.

Now I am not hollaring at you are bashing you for your question. I am just giving you my honest opinion. You can try and hide the hurt by not saying it didn't hurt, but words do hurt and it is human nature to feel that. Whether you are ten or thirty.

Answer 4

Sometimes obese people can't help it if something in their system has gone
wrong. We know a woman who has lupus and the drugs and chemo she has
to take has taken its toll on her. After she went into remission, she lost about
100 lbs. Don't look at every overweight person as if it is their own fault. Try
walking a mile in their shoes. Granted some are that way because they can't
push away from the table. Have some compassion on them, because you don't
know what they are fighting. Thank you.

Answer 5

You're really asking two different things and not being very clear.
If someone is talking IN GENERAL about fat people, and someone else listens in, that's rude to listen.
If someone is talking SPECIFICALLY about a person in the room (gossiping, basically) and that person overhears, it's totally different.
And of course there's the question of lowering your voice while in a "private" conversation so those around you can't hear.
Have you ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"

Answer 6

So,what. You were talking about obesity and someone overheard / eavesdropped ? And what, they said something? Or you just felt bad. Ha hahaha ! You have a conscience after all!? And I thought you were the perfect woman! Well, if it helps, maybe your comments will be the final straw that drives them to lose that weight! See! You helped them! Now-more blunt questions please! And don't hold back!

Answer 7

Oprah used to wave the flag of "Nobody can make anybody feel bad about themselves, " and "words only have weight if you allow them to" until she jumped on the "lets make it a crime to say the N-word" bandwagon.

It is not a matter of "fault" that some people feel hurt. It is rude to talk about others in a negative manner. wether you are two faced and say it when or where you think nobody can here you, or if you solidly are comfortable enough to insult others to your face, evryone has a moral responsibility to take others feelings into account. It is what etiquette and manners are all about.

Sometimes, people are just fat. They can be fit and fat, it is just natural for them to be that way. The ignorance of many people causes more friction than neccessary.

For instance, many women are duped by cosmetics companies proclaiming that they are ugly unless they spend a lot of money and time on products available to them. The companies are much like the kind of people that try to find fault with others, and then exploit that for there own personal gain. The companies get money, while the gossiping fault finders gain a few moments of feeling superior over other people. A sad commentary on those people. So, if a beautifully made up ( aren't "made up", and "make up" interesting terms?) insults another person for being fat or for the way they look just compensating for their own hideous perception of themselves? What a joke! When "made up" women talk about magazines making them feel inferior, or sub standard, or when they talk about models setting unreachable standards, aren't they really saying, "I allow the opinions of others to affect how I feel about myself? But by what you state, that it is their own "fault". So, do you wear makeup, or do you let your real self show through? Or do you feel uncomfortable unless you are painted with a fake coating hiding the real you? How many people smile at you, then when they are just out of earshot say, She is soooo pretty!, but then the way she talks about people, she is sooo fake!"

Fat people might be uncomfortable about being fat. If they want to work on their bodies, they can, and maybe they cannot. Take away the fat, and you will find the same person maybe more confident and secure , stronger, better looking to society at large, and proud.

Take away your makeup, and you might feel less confident and less secure, less acceptable. You might not think you look as good to society.

The real difference is the weight is real. You being made up, is... well, made up. Fake.

Answer 8

I think that just talking about other people in general is not a good rule of thumb....and if you are talking loud enough it can be hurtful even if you aren't trying to listen....I am not obese but I have seen people in my group get hurt by someone's comments that were loud enough so the whole darn place looked at my friend....it was sad.

Answer 9

Being mean and rude to people just isnt the thing to do. What if that obese person struggles with their weight every day, struggling to lose weight exercising and eating right but still unable to lose? It can just be a lot harder for some people to lose weight. Is it fair to judge them? No. Mean people SUCK

Answer 10

The quote is "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." - Eleanor Roosevelt

My best friend as a child was extremely skinny. People used to call her skeleton and bones because she looked like skin stretched over bones. It hurt her feelings.

So, it isn't just obese people. It's anyone who is "different". Sad, isn't it?

Answer 11

Sometimes public conversations are carried on loud enough for everyone withhin a mile to hear. Obese people have feelings just like anyone else you know.