My husband and I got married almost 8 years ago and he refused to wear a tuxedo. Well he is now the best man in his best friends wedding and he is going to wear a tux. I am really upset about this and I don't want him to do it because he wouldnt do it for me. I also am refusing to go to the wedding, because of the tux and because I feel his friend always just chooses pretty girls who eventually use him and lose him and they havent been engaged long and she seems like that type to me.
2007-04-12 02:57:17 · 34 answers · asked by muchfunrwe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow some of you didn't have to be so HARSH! I understand I was acting like a brat, I shouldn't forbid him to go to the wedding but I still don't think I should be forced to go if I dont want to! We live in the country there are no black tie events or Operas within 200 miles!
2007-04-12 13:34:33 · update #1
It seems like you are making everything about you. So he wouldn't wear a tux, you married him anyway didn't you? It's not fair to punish his friend because you are mad at your husband. And if this guy has bad taste in women, what does that have to do with anything? If you want to skip the wedding you probably should. You sound like a judgmental, selfish woman, and you will probably bring no joy to the wedding, but your husband is an adult and should be able to decide for himself what he wants to do. If he wants to be in the wedding, then he should be in it.
2007-04-12 03:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
8 years is a long time to change. Maybe he’s grown up. (I’d be thoroughly peeved too, though). Refusing to let him be in the best man in a friend’s wedding is a little on the unfair side though don’t you think? A wedding is a once in a lifetime event, and is nothing to mess with because you have a judge. I do agree though that it isn’t right for him to wear a tux to his friend’s wedding and not yours though. Remember; marriage is a compromise. Let him participate in the wedding, but make him take you to an event of your choosing that ALSO requires a Tux. An Opera, a charity black tie thing… That way he is getting to attend his friend’s wedding, and you’re getting closure on the tux issue. A nice idea might be a vow renewal ceremony. You hop back into the old wedding dress, and he wears the tux he didn’t the first time. If he refuses the compromise, you know that he’s more concerned for him, than your feelings, and in that case, grudge on girl.
2007-04-12 03:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by Goddess Nikki 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are wrong you are entitled to your opinion but you have no right to treat his friend, his wife to be and your husband the way you are, sounds like you might be jealous! Jealous of the tux thing, jealous b/c of their relationship, jealous of your husband and his friends friendship and maybe jealous b/c you were not invoited to be in the wedding! So, lets fix this, I'm sorry you are hurt but why on Erarth would you go through so much extream! Who cares let him make his own mistakes. Go and have fun, admit you were wrong and sit back and enjoy life it is really way too short to be carrieing on about stuff like this! Besides when you and he got married did you forget it was also his wedding! if he didn't want to wear one he didn't b/c it was also his weddding and he had some say so over it. Guess what, he doesn't this time and he is being a mature, adult friend that will do what he is asked not b/c it is him asking him to do something and not you but b/c that is what friends do. Maybe you should try to be a better friend to this couple.
Relax please and be a part of this! Like her even though you don't want to. Look at the things you do like and if it weren't for your attitude to begin with you may have been more of a part of this wedding - do what you want but you're being very silly!
2007-04-12 03:14:51 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are dead wrong on this one. You need to get over the whole tux thing. This is his best friend, for Heaven's sake. He can't very well dictate the dress code for someone else's wedding. Maybe he wanted to be comfortable at yours. It's not the slap in the face you are making it out to be. By you boycotting the wedding, it just makes you look like a spoiled baby. It seems you may have some jealousy issues with the bride. Apologize to your husband for acting like such a brat, go to the wedding, be polite, and try to have a good time. There are much more important things to take a stand over.
2007-04-12 05:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well who his friend chooses to marry is none of your business, but as far as your husband not wearing a tux for you guys wedding is shameful. I see why you are upset about that, but really it's been 8 years and it sounds like you have other underlying issues to why you don't want to attend this wedding. I think you should rethink your position and stand by your husband. Maybe he just never wanted to wear a tux to his own wedding that could've been his own personal choice then. But this is his best friends wedding and have you ever thought how he would feel showing up to a wedding without his wife. Besides if his best friend gets married and you don't show up that leaves you looking like the bad guy.
2007-04-12 03:12:21 · answer #5 · answered by KH 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did say they're in yet another economic obstacle than you. Yes it sucks, however you additionally do not know each and every element approximately how they're all spending cash. Do they've automobile repayments? Mortgage? Other loans? Plus with a brand new little one they're spending greater than they did as a pair. Yes it could look bizarre that seven individuals get you a card and $one hundred, however I believe you must receive it and be thankful. Send them a great observe pronouncing what you probably did with the cash, ex, "purchased a few kitchen provides" or "placed it closer to the mortage". That will cause them to think favored, and they'll keep to be form to you. I without doubt might have spotted whatever like this as good, and I traditionally might be amazed such as you, however nonetheless be appreciative. Let the buddy realize you're disenchanted he could not be a groomsman, and also you fairly neglected him throughout your unique time. It fairly sounds just like the spouse is the riding drive (after your further main points). Maybe you've gotten indignant her somehow? Or perhaps she is solely jealous/controlling. Either method she is disappointed approximately whatever and is taking it out on her husband/you men. Unless the youngster has a few progress or different issues, looking him/her must be a one-man or woman task.
2016-09-05 10:52:37 · answer #6 · answered by angier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your reasoning is unsound. You don't want him to act as best man in a pal's wedding because 8 years ago he refused to wear a tuxedo when you two were married and now he will in this case?
Lady...if you think about it this honestly makes you sound like a nut case. Really.
Who gives a damn if the groom to be is going to be raked over the coals by his bride to be? Why would you care? Again you have a second reason that is almost as bad as the first.
Is there really more to this than meets the eye or what? Were I your husband I'd have no compunction in telling you that I was going to the wedding with or without you. If that didn't suit you then divorce me over it. I'd probably welcome that anyway.
2007-04-12 03:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont let the past ruin your future.. 8 years of togetherness should not be hindered by the reason of not wearing a tux. If you dont want to really go to the wedding, then let your husband know. He is the best man so he really has to show up.
2007-04-12 03:03:17 · answer #8 · answered by Jon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband didn't wear a suit when we got married but wore one to his Uncle's funeral.
Perhaps your husband felt comfortable enough with you that he didn't feel the need to pretend and married you the way he is but doesn't have that same freedom with his friend? Also, judging the bride to be and finding her lacking is just another excuse to justify your demand that he not go to this wedding because he wouldn't wear a tux or suit for yours. I think you are looking at it backwards. He felt secure in your love and was who he is at your wedding. He can't do that with his friend's wedding. And, quite frankly, if it meant that much to you why did you marry him? I'm guessing because you were able to see that in the big scheme of things, it really didn't matter. And it doesn't.
Quit making this personal as it has nothing to do with you.
2007-04-12 03:04:21 · answer #9 · answered by Stefka 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must really have a wonderful hubby if you have to go
back in history to find something to whine about. 8 years ago?
Come on. Give the man a gold star for growing up so much.
Now why don't you try it. If you cant then try just being a sport..
What is it with this friend and pretty girls that bothers you so much? Oops sorry. That's a question your husband should ask.
2007-04-12 03:19:14 · answer #10 · answered by wayne g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋