right my boyfriend left his wife to come live with me 2yrs ago at christmas he went back to wife but wanted to carry on seeing me! i love him so i did he said was only going back for the kids! anyway i have now just told his wife we have been seeing each other but i think i have wasted my time? have i caused trouble for nothing? she has always took him back even when he was with me she was still seeing him.
2007-04-12 02:25:45 · 25 answers · asked by purdy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't get involved with married men, whether they're cheating on their wives or separated, and you won't have these problems.
2007-04-12 03:27:34 · answer #1 · answered by Jim B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well.... if both of you know about each other, and both of you are willing to share him.... he's got a great end of the deal. He gets to keep his family and you.
What do you get? You get half a man. In EVERY sense of the word.
If you're happy with waiting around for him and not having all of him, then fine, stick with it. But it would be selfish and incredibly immoral. And I am not condoning it.
But there will come a time when either you or his wife is not happy with it.
If you meant the world to him and he really loved you, he would not have returned to his wife. This is your first warning sign. You may mean a lot to him, but obviously his family means more.
Staying together for the children is one of the most stupid things I've ever heard. Even if he's being honest that this is the reason, he is a fool. Children can still have both parents even if they're not together. But if he ends up leaving his wife again for you when they are older, they're unlikely to forgive him.
When I was 16, I had an affair with a married woman for two years. She had a child. I told myself I was happy with the situation. Now that I'm in a *proper* relationship, I realise how desperate, foolish, selfish and naive I was being. I would never date a married person ever again. It causes too much hurt to everyone involved.
I think you should make him choose, for the sake of his children, you and his wife. Of course, he probably won't choose, and the two of you will continue to give him everything he needs.
Only once you wake up and realise you're not getting everything you need will you put a stop to this and find someone who doesn't want to be shared.
2007-04-12 10:03:01 · answer #2 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think you should both dump his sorry ***.
You teach people how to treat you. And you've taught him that even though he was married and has gone back to his wife, you'll still be involved with him. You have taught him that he can treat you like a mushroom, and you'll let him. By the way, you keep mushrooms in the dark and feed them fertilizer...
Was it right of you to tell his wife he's still seeing you? What will that accomplish? She'll yell at him, he'll yell at you. In the end, what will it have changed? Will she dump him? You don't think so. If she does, will he come back to you, thus proving that you'll always take him back? And if he does come back to you, what will you do when he starts cheating on you, cause honey, technically that is exactly what he is doing... with his wife.
2007-04-12 09:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by Paula S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Purdy, I bet you did this for all the right reasons in your head, but WHY would you wan to be the 'other woman'. You're better than second best, aren't you?
As I the child of parents divorced because of infidelity myself, I strongly believe that are better off not caught up in their parents lie. Their marriage is a sham, and you are part of the charade. Either he leaves his wife and takes on the kids part time with you or you get the heck out of there and be some ones number one girl. I wouldn't hang about. And I wouldn't get involved with a married man - it's not worth the heartache. let someone else be the bad person.
Good luck.
2007-04-12 09:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by tigerfly 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be ashamed of yourself, hitting on a married man in the first place, have you any idea the heartache and pain you must of coursed, ok yeah i know it takes two, but if your single go and find a single man instead of recking a marriage, hurting children and destoying a life long comitment. A wedding ring is on a mans hand for a reason so take notice next time you feel like a fling.
2007-04-12 09:31:27 · answer #5 · answered by ANGELA R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be leaving this guy, I can see why you told his wife although with kids involved I probably wouldn't have. He has obviously put her and the children first as a family, I don't believe any man in this situation has any intention of leaving his family unless he has actually filed for divorce.
2007-04-12 09:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by truth_and_time_tells_all 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't You think you have been waisting your time ever since you got with the looser By the sounds of it you have just been used as his bit on the side. what a lame excuse "going back for the kids" You don't have to be living under the same roof to have quality time with your kids. He is nuthin but a player You deserve someone who will be yours & only yours You are a person not a sex toy
2007-04-12 09:37:05 · answer #7 · answered by nick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What PLANET are you both (u & wife) living on ?
How can u love someone who treats you with that much diss-respect.
I think you both (u & wife) need a wake up call and some serious self -respect sessions!
Those poor poor kids!
If it wasnt you he'd probably still mess around with someone else!
Get yourself someone who will love you and treat you right.
But first work on loving yourself!
All the best!
2007-04-12 09:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think his wife only takes him back because of the kids. But then I think he will never leave his wife because he loves his kids and i doubt that his kids will even like you. You'll be better off finding another man who truely deserves you
2007-04-12 09:36:23 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you do that? Were you hoping she will ask him to leave her house so he should come to you again? I think you have wasted your time and have better things to do than hanging out with a married man. He lies to you and he lies to his wife, he only feels better with 2 women at the same time. That's adultery, and you're as sinner as he is. Stop seing him and date single men. You deserve more than just being "the other one".
2007-04-12 09:31:17 · answer #10 · answered by DreamGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid. Anyone who doesn't realise that your the greatest thing ever isn't worth wasting your time over. I know it's easier said than done but why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you properly.
As for causing trouble, it's his problem. He created the situation in the first place. I wouldn't waste anymore time on him.
2007-04-12 09:33:15 · answer #11 · answered by kukikooki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋