My husband of 5 months left me without any apparent reason?

Question

I later discovered he was seeing an old friend from une and she actually called me to boast and adv they were in love and I should learn to keep a man.He moved into her place.I really ,truly loved and supported this guy even after 2 years he did'nt have a job I still really cared for him.I always tought he was the one and I had no plan b.He swore he loved me and we will always be togheter now he tells me he was not happy.I actually begged him but as he turned I could see a smile on his face as if he was enjoying this.I know he believes he is the most goodlooking guy in the world and he is really arrogant but I never,ever tought he would hurt me.I am devastated and haven't eating in 3 weeks or slept because I just wake up like 5 times.I trusted him 110%.we were always togheter.How can some one change so suddenly?does anyone believe in karma?We were togheter nearly 3 years and we married (registry) 5 months ago. How do I get over the pain and hurt because believe it is really bad?

To Rain Maker.Yes I am a black woman and live in London.I was a virgin when I met him and I am not a single mother.I have slept with only him .I do not lie as I am a christian u r free to believe what you want but I come from a very decent family.I believed in the relationship 100 % and he told me more than once that he would never cheat as 5 minutes of pleasure (as he calls it)will not compare to losing what he had.Maybe I'm naive but I was with him 3 years.I believe after that long you believe you know a person.Was I wrong.

Answer 1

What a loser he is. Be glad you won't have to spend another 3 years being cheated on. I am sorry because I am sure it hurts, but sometimes people do bad things. This is not about you. Try to not wear this as your problem....it is him and he is truly a good riddance.

Answer 2

I feel for you. In this day and age you hear about this a lot. I think time will help you heal. But you will need to do a few things first.
You will need to work through your shock and pain. Everyone does this in a different way. Some write letters but never send them, some write poems, some get nasty, some go shopping. You just find what it is you need to do.
You should eat and stay healthy. You should see a doctor to get some advice on sleeping.
See a lawyer and get all you can from this ex hubby. He does not deserve to have anything.
Get really fit and stick it in your ex's face. I am a little bit revengeful so i would put on something really sexy and invite the ex over and have a good time and keep my mobile close so i could ring the ex friend half way through what we were doing . Then egg would be on her face.
It is not a good plan for most people though..
I just want you to know that you are too good for this guy and the friend. They will get bad Karma at some stage. Girls like that are not happy with the whole commitment thing. She will want out soon. And if not he will sleep around on her soon enough because he sounds like a right as.s
Please dont beg him. He does not deserve it.
Ring him and say.. I hope all goes well with you two. I am having fun and you are not invited.

Answer 3

Hi, Aww you must be so sad that this has happened to you. some men are just not worth it. At the moment things are still in the raw stage with you, and as you said you thought you would always be together. But HONEST you will get over him, it may take time but you will carry on with your life and become a stronger woman. Just take each day as it comes, some days you will feel happy the other day's you may feel sad but you will get through them, God is good and he will guide you. Just remember there is an old saying "What goes round comes round" and the "other woman" we will call her for the want of a better word will know what it feels like to be in your situation. By the time this happens you will be stronger and hopefully you will have found someone else. Don't take him back no matter how tempted you are once a cheater always a cheater. God Bless you, you are in my thoughts. x

Answer 4

This is similar to what happened to my best friend. Married for 3 years,together for 5 years, had a beautiful baby together. Had a lovely christening day with loads of friends and family-her husband toasted my friend and baby in front of all. 2 weeks later she is ringing me up crying and sobbing that he has left her and baby without explanation. She begged him to have marriage counselling,she tried to speak to him to see what had gone wrong. She moved into her parents for a while as she couldnt cope with his coldness. Some weeks later she did some digging at work and found out he had a 'new' girlfriend and was living with this woman.Bascially he had been having an affair since the baby had been born but even now he wont explain why he did it and she is only now moving on. We both believe in karma and we are jsut waiting now for him to get his comupance.Of course there are 2 sides to every story but believe me my friends husband was a complete ***, and is still to this day.He is now on his own and fingers crossed he will end up a lonely old man-his family and friends have disowned him.
Hun, he was always this way-he just hid it from you. You are right to question how someone can turn like thatand they cant-its always been there,hidden deep,waiting for the right time to surface.Now it has and he is enjoyign hurting you. Dont contact him from now-if he rings you or contacts you tell him to speak to a solicitor. Get some legal advice and get the ball rolling todivorce this guy so you are then free. You are better than him,remember that, dont focus on all the good times as that will make you sadder than ever.Believe me,he will do the same to this new woman as he did to you so dont even focus any energy on her. Name her on your divorce petition and leave it at that. Its going to take time but you WILL move on,I truly believe you are stronger than you know,you are better than them both.

Answer 5

It sounds like you are severely depressed (not eating, unable to sleep). Although that has a dramatic sound to it, it is depression, which is a recognizable condition and can be treated. Talk to your family doctor and perhaps he can prescribe anti-depressants for you. In the meantime, do yourself the biggest favor you will ever do for yourself in your entire life - find a competent therapist! You will be able to explore the reasons you and he married and what this recent action has to say about his feelings and opinion of you. It's not enough that he's just arrogant. This guy is cruel, too. He makes it worse by being attracted to cruel people (are you a cruel person too?) - who do things like call you and taunt you because they are sleeping with your husband. What kind of sick game does he play and why would you want to play it with him? You have to 1)see the physician 2)see the counselor and 3) most important, SEE THE LAWYER and divorce this cruel son of a b, the sooner the better. You'll be amazed how much better you will sleep with all three of those things done! God bless.

Answer 6

Oh honey, I am so very sorry. I can't imagine the pain you must feel, the betrayal, the loss. What a freaking jerk to do that to you. It's going to be hard to get through, but just keep remembering you are the better person in all this and if he is capable of treating someone this bad, he isn't worth your time or your love. Please try not be bitter to other men and remain open to love because there are men out there that really do know how to treat woman, be faithful to her, and not betray her.

You can get over him by having NO contact with him, at all. Don't answer his phone calls, his mail, his email and don't let him come to your house. Get rid of all pictures so you don't sit around and look at them. In fact, burn them and watch them burn. It's a good soul cleanser. And yes, I do believe in Karma.

Answer 7

I can tell you right now what will help to get you thru this. You can guarantee that these two will never make it. They will do it to eachother at some point. I firmly believe that when people intentionally hurt others to get what they want they will get theirs in the end. All you have to do is go on living a good life. Consider yourself lucky he didn't take you for more than he already has and he left. I do not understand why we as women allow ourselves to get s**t on and then would most likely take the a**holes back! You will get over the pain and your husband will eventually pay in some way what he did to you. Please no more begging him to come back! Respect yourself and do not allow this man to take anymore from you than he already has! They will get theirs!

Answer 8

Sounds like he had a free ride w/ you. Let him go. I guarantee this new fling won't last. She too will get used & dumped eventually b/c what they will do with you they will also do to you. Call her back & tell her she actually did you a favor. I( was in a five year relationship w/ a guy like this (stayed in college to keep from beginning a real job, I bought his food, clothes, etc.). He eventually dumped me to have his freedom. Then he came crawling back when he realized he couldnt make it on his own in the lifestyle he led. Now he lives with his Mom & he is 32. Just shake this off & dont ever give him the chance to explain or anything.

Answer 9

wow, sounds like my ex. He and his new girlfriend (a girl I had considered a friend) also called me after he suddenly moved out of our home and bragged about how they were so so happy together.

That lasted a whole 3 months.

He, like yours, had always told me how much he loved me and how he had never been happier. It was all a sham. You and I both married really good con men.

Definitely check into some support groups....you'll need it for the divorce. I recommend www.divorcecare.org They have groups across the US and you can meet with other people who are hurting. Also, there are some support groups on livejournal that have helped me, like divorcerecovery. **hugs**

I wouldn't wish your pain on my worst enemy (except maybe my ex) because I know EXACTLY how you feel. Just remember it is NOT you......it'a all about him and how selfish he is. YOU have nothing to do with it.....it was his decision and his REALLY bad judgement.

Email me if you need to talk.

Answer 10

You poor wee thing, im so sorry about whats happened to you, but remember hes the loser for leaving you, not the other way about. Hes a right pig by the sounds of it, and you will be better off and happier without him. Yes it will hurt to begin with but over time it will stop, and you will find someone who is caring, loving and gentle, then you will wonder what did i ever see in the ex.
Good luck and keep happy

Answer 11

I have been where you are and can only tell you that it gets better. You learn to live with the hurt and sometimes it's unbearable and sometimes you know in your heart that you are moving on. The hardest thing is letting go and I too am still trying to do that but I can tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you won't feel the way you do forever.