ok i can change gp...he actually said, you dont need a counsellor or a psychiatrist, they will send you looney?!!! make you worse and convince you that you are mad??? thing is past relationship breakups have left me with warning bells to watch for, and i hear them without good cause y'know? so i get anxious and in turn say hurtful things and now i think i have just ruined everything and its all my own fault... can anyone help me, please?
2007-04-12 01:28:10 · 7 answers · asked by ~☆ Petit ♥ Chou ☆~ 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
MT K yeh thats just it, thats what i do, pre empt somet thats not happening??!! OUI, que sera, but in turn i hurt the woman i love and messed up. im ashamed, guilty sickened empty y'know.
2007-04-12 01:57:42 · update #1
Emmie thanks for the link, been there and fingers crossed. but this IS a new relationship or it WAS think i have ruined everything and i KNOW she was the one. im such a xxxx i dont know what i can do.
2007-04-12 02:29:40 · update #2
Hi Emmie, allseeingdi has told me before that naswers are not given...indeed not allowed to be and that only an outside perspective is used, which is ALL i ask, but have messed things up so i wouldn't want to dig things up with the woman i love and remind her what a xxxx i have been and my GP really wants to drag things on and almost as if NOT ALLOWING me to talk !!! this is why i need to know from someone, anyone how i can deal with this once and for all. if it means handging out dirty laundry AGAIN then i am perpared to do that, but i just need assistance to help me stop making me behave like in a foolish and childlike manner.
2007-04-12 06:05:31 · update #3
Hello Di, good to see your back doing what you do. sorry, i didnt want to trouble you further i know your not well yourself, fairy godmother. ok will chat after tea if you dont mind?
2007-04-12 06:07:44 · update #4
tagette...you make sense and you dont realise how close you are !!! thanks and i agree to about the whole term time of counselling cos the way i wanna spill the beans as it were i want to make everything clear from day one and then chip away bit by bit. yeh my mum did make my dad wait so long and did in a way deceive him but got herself into a bullying situ and us being kids couldnt help so i guess then knowing the deception can be hid so well i look for clues to it happening in my relationships??? but then i go f up by accusing and I know with hindsight its gotta hurt but at the time i didnt know that my fears ... were creating a fear of me !!! ....fk what have i done?!
2007-04-12 08:32:04 · update #5
your paranoid about getting hurt again.its a natural defence system only time will ease your frustration.unfortunately a healing heart takes time.that's from experience.been 15 years for me and still think about x but as time flows the pain ebbs.try not to think about it and get a new hobby or interest and most of all keep your mind busy.
2007-04-12 01:33:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there....
Well, I think that your GP may be right that you don't necessarily need help with your mental health - and I am saying this as an Assistant Psychologist!
However, he's a bit out of line to say that it will 'make you mad!' Although I can see the point he's trying to make. Sometimes people have problems coping with things, but when a counsellor acknowledges their feelings they begin to think "oh, so I KNOW I have something wrong with me now".
Paranoia is your heart's way of defending itself.
My ex boyfriend cheated on me and lied to me, and this caused me a lot of problems similar to the ones you are experiencing. I also considered seeing a counsellor as I felt I just couldn't cope with all the jealousy.
However, counsellors and Psychologists will NOT provide the answers for you. We are not allowed to do that! What we do is make you think about the way you feel and help you to realise on your own what you can do about it. The only time Psychologists can really provide opinions is when someone is experiencing a serious mental health issue such as depression or psychosis.
In your case, I really think you can figure it out on your own. I did.
Maybe you need to stay single for a while until you are more secure in yourself. There are thousands of trustworthy people in the world. Not every person you have a relationship with will hurt you in that way.
I'm definitely not saying you should "shut up and get on with it" - not at all. What I'm saying is that I bet you could sort this out on your own if you gave yourself some time to heal and grow as a person before getting into your next relationship.
Jealousy and paranoia disappears with time. Why not read up on it online - there's thousands of articles that can give you good, solid advice.
You can also email http://www.askthesite.org and they will give you advice on this.
Good luck - you will trust again,
xx Emmie
2007-04-12 01:52:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some GP's hate counsellors. Some counsellors will get you hooked on the process, often to ill effect. The person who taught me counselling said - in general - if your client has not got something out of it in 6 wks, he or she is not ready and you are doing them no good. She said, people who have received counselling need time to process it, so 6 weeks is ok but no longer.
It sounds to me that you do need help - you have become so anxious you don't really seem to know what to do.
On the whole, I'd start with your parents and your first serious relationship, and maybe even her parents. We tend to copy our parent's relationships - unconsciously - and it may take us years to acknowledge this. It has taken me many years to see what I could plainly see in my sister - that we have both married versions of our father. We are also drawn to people who have complementary childhoods e.g the boy who has seen his father bully his mother is likely to marry the daughter of a woman who has seen her mother bullied in this way.
Although it is supposed to be for parents, the nice people at Parentline will gladly give you 10 minutes or so (if you are not a parent) because they recognise you might be a parent some day.
2007-04-12 07:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by tagette 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
could be a sense of pride in not wanting to ask for help, I don't know if pressuring him by saying you're going to leave him is exactly the right thing to do. A lot of support and a little pressure might be better than flat out commanding him to do something like a puppy =P Just my opinion heh
2016-04-01 10:54:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember me dear little cabbage? I have not seen you here for a while. Paranoia brings on anxiety I can not believe we overlooked that and made you believe you were suffering from depression which is more serious I'm sure you have read up things like this. come talk to me, your fears are unfounded you should know that, I know it too. Maybe Emmie would like to help if you ask her, that way you get two viewpoints instead of the blank wall you are facing.
******************************************************************
That's the way, Solomon. NOW you are thinking straight. I knew you would work it out. I could make a counsellor of you yet.
Regards Di.
2007-04-12 02:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by allseeingdi 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you have got foot and mouth disease that is you open your mouth and put your foot in it,do you think that trying to pre-empt a situation that might not happen will do any good.what will be will be
2007-04-12 01:36:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not look in the library or somewhere to see if there are any groups you could go to ,maybe there is one in the local church hall or somewhere,they might be able to help, they do talking sessions.
2007-04-12 01:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by Weed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋