My daughter is 3 months old, and my son is 5, up until today there have been no issues, my son accepted having a little sister right from day one and I didn't feel that there would be a problem. I was outside sitting on my porch today, having my lunch and my son was inside feeding my daughter her bottle. As I came back inside, I watched my son whacking the bottom of the bottle causing it to whack my little girl in the mouth. She screamed a "pain cry" and was so distraught that she wasn't breathing and was totally rigid in her body.
I asked my son why he hurt her and he told me that he "forgot not to". I don't know if I have ever been as angry with my son as today, and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't really want to tell my partner, as I feel that he would hit the roof.
2007-04-11 21:51:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
A 5 year old is not usually mature enough to be left alone with a small baby, even if he is a wonderful big brother. It is a great idea to have him help you with his sister, under your close supervision. I wouldn't have him feed her, that needs to come from mom, anyway. He and his sister would probably love to lay on their tummies on a blanket on the floor, facing each other and making faces. Another favorite might be to show him how to blow "strawberries" on her tummy (careful that he isn't too rough).
I'm confused by your issue with your partner, I would definitely discuss it with him, just to talk through how the two of you can provide appropriate supervision for your children.
Your little boy may or may not have meant to hurt the baby. I'm sure you were frightened and upset when it happened, I'd talk to him about it again later, calmly. A lot of times it doesn't help to question them, but he should understand clearly that what he did hurt his sister and upset you, that he should always be careful around her not to bump her with his body or any item, not give her food or toys unless you give him permission, etc. In case he is jealous and did mean to hurt her (it does happen, and is actually normal though you can't allow it) make sure you are spending some time with him that isn't baby related.
Remember, one day big brother will be her best protector and ally
2007-04-11 22:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by Robin R 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your son may not realize that he could of really hurt his baby sister. He sounds like a good little brother accepting having a new little sister and by helping out like feeding her, however young children should not be left alone feeding a baby. The baby could of choked or something and a 5 year old wouldn't know what to do. I would talk to your 5 year old calmly and let him know that even though he may not of meant to hurt his sister, he needs to always be careful around her. Give your kids a big hug, be glad that they are okay. Maybe this was a wake up call even for you to realize your son should not be left unattended with the baby. If you afraid your partner would hit the roof, maybe counseling would be a good idea. Nobody should be afraid to tell their partner something when it concerns their children. Good Luck & Best wishes to you & your family!
2007-04-12 08:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by CandyGirl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To begin with you should never allow a 5 year old alone with a 3 month old baby. Five year olds are not responsible at that age and need to be watched very closely at all times when around a baby. Now that I am done with the lecture...my answer to your question would be to first talk to your son..have serious (5 year old style) conversation with him about the baby. You should probably tell your partner but first make sure that you talk to your son so that you can let your partner know that you already handled the situation with your son.
2007-04-12 15:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Carey S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he's too young to be alone with her. he really has no idea what she is yet. he knows she is his sister but that doesn't make sense to him yet. he probably wanted to see what would happen if he did that. he may not have known it would hurt her. i wouldn't give him the job of feeding her anymore unless you are with him. there really is no need to "tell" your partner. it's over, you took care of it, case closed. what good would telling him do? you'll have calmed down about it and he'll go through the roof and get you upset all over again. let it go and chalk it up to experience.
2007-04-12 09:55:49 · answer #4 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Kids are kids...he didn't know any better. Talk to your partner along with your child. In a calm manner talk to him why it's wrong to do those type of things. Explain to him if he doesn't follow the rules then certain punishments will be put into play. If he did it just once then it was most likely an accident.
2007-04-12 05:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by jfm7491 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow! What I see here seems that is more an issue with he partner than with your kids. It sounds to me that he's violent and he's not the father and you being angry it doesn't solve the problem, furthermore, exacerbates it Kid's behavior is mostly a reflection of their parents behavior. The notion that there are bad kids is a "Tall Tale". Their conduct is driven by environmental issues,(not the weather), and reactions of what they experiment. I would suggest that you and your partner see a counselor, this problem seems to be beyond "yahoo's" therapy..
If you want to live in denial and refuse to face the fact that you and your partner have anger issues, its your problem, but this situation can go up to levels of child endangerment, I will insist that you and your partner seek professional help.
2007-04-12 05:09:50 · answer #6 · answered by cabron o 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
That must be really hard for you. Some advise i can give you is whenever you get angry don't say stuff to your children that you'll never do. Eg. " I'll kill you if you don't stop!" You'll never kill him so don't say thinks like that. Rather say i'll punish you and then you'll have to punish him if he don't stop, no matter how hard it is for you or for him. It's part of growing up. And i can read you're a good mother. I wish you all the luck.
2007-04-12 05:06:41 · answer #7 · answered by MiNi Daisy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋