My Girlfriend says i deserve more commitment than shes willing to give at this point.?

Question

I dont know how to deal with this, please help. My girlfriend and I have been seeing eachother for about 4 weeks, and she understands that im willing to re-schedule or give up anything to spend time with her, but she is not willing to do the same for me, stating that its not fair to me, and its not right to me, and that i deserve better, and more than her. and that shed just feel guilty if we stayed together knowing that shes conciously not giving 100% like she knows she should be. Shes been trying to push her guilt aside and thinks its not fair to me. I told her im willing to make that sacrifice that she wont always be there for me, and that I understand, and that I want to make this work. I told her that shes is the only person in the world that gives me joy, and that I dont think I can go through all of this over again with another girl, and that id crash if she decides to break me off. She knows im in it for the long haul. I just dont know how to take it from here. please help

Answer 1

I know what I am about to say is not what you want to hear, but she is giving you a way out, you need to take it, and take it before you get anymore attached to her.
You either ask more than she can give, or you ask more than she is willing to give.
99% of the time, the female in the relationship is the one who has the issue you have. When its the male, you can bet she is not wanting to be a "one man girl".
Shes trying to be nice, and let you down easy. If I were you and you want any chance of salvaging this relationship, I would give her what she wants with no strings and give it fast then back off.....that will throw her off....then suggest to her you have alot going on as well, and admit she was right, ...dont give any details, just hint very lightly it might be that you are wanting to keep your options open too. If you send that signal loud and clear and it doesnt cause her get remotely jealous, then keep backing away and dont return.
We tend to view our relationships in our own minds the way we want to, the way we need to, and it hurts to find out that it doesnt go both ways.
Get beyond that and fire off a few counter shots at her, and see what happens. If you are into games, stick around. If you dont want any, go someplace else.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to be pessimistic but I don't believe in young relationships lasting. Especially if you are already living together. You are only 19 and he's only 21. Do you have any idea about what is out there beyond him? Same goes for him. Look how much he respected his so called stalker, enough to take her virginity and start dating you soon after. Have you considered that maybe he lied or lies to this girl. If you have trust issues they will never leave unless you are around him 24/7. You don't have to trust the girl, she is not in a relationship with you, if she sleeps with him she owes you nothing, she is not your friend or your girlfriend. Your boyfriend is the one who holds that card. Love is a funny thing it really doesn't take much to say it, but it takes a whole lot to show it. And it takes a lot of men a long time to even grasp the concept of that.

Answer 3

I mean this kindly when I say, I think you are expecting way too much only four weeks into a relationship. The feelings you're having now are part of the euphoria of finding someone you like. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to me that she shares those feelings. Many people feel as you do in the beginning, but most hold back a little more.

She's quite right when she says that you deserve someone who wants to commit to you - and she is trying to spare your feelings as much as possible while also telling you that she doesn't want to commit to you.

I wish I had something more positive to say. I know it seems unfair that you are so willing to give and she is unwilling to take, but you're fighting a losing battle here. She doesn't want what you want, and you will have to accept it.

Sorry :-(

Answer 4

Four weeks? You must be about 14 or 15. Do you know what four weeks is going to mean to you when you are 25? The car payment and rent are due again and not much more.

She told you that you deserve more commitment because telling you "Let's just be friends" is old and stale. It's code for "I'm breaking up with you and I don't want to sound like a cold-hearted b!tch."

Answer 5

You are moving way too fast. Four weeks does not make a love relationship. If you continue to do this, she will break up with you. Either slow down and enjoy what you have, or face the consequences. She will get tired of you nagging her and leave you. People do not want to be smothered. They have the right to enjoy other people's company as well as yours. You are way too needy for anyone to have a long term relationship with. Grow up. Learn to enjoy everything in life. Don't depend on one person to make you happy. You will spend the rest of your life miserable.

Answer 6

Reding between the lines this is a nice way to say I am breaking up with you, sorry. You could be grateful she has only be with you for four weeks, it will make it easier to move on. It is not the end of the world there is always someone better right around that corner.

Answer 7

am sorry to say this bro but she is breakin up with u! the reason y shes not saying it directly is because she is sweet and realy doesnt want to hurt u. but listen, uve only been with her for 4 weeks maan, i mean how would u feel if u break up with a girl after beeing together for a year or 2, ur a very sensitive man but take it from me, move on cuz u have no other way.

Answer 8

you are a door mat! grow some balls please!
only four weeks and you sound kind of obsessed.take a step back and let her decide what is right for her or she will get freaked out by your obsessiveness and run the other way.

Answer 9

u can not make her want to be with u she is just shy to say that and u do not want to be with someone who does not want u so just accept the truth and more on be4 u hurt ur self after getting in deeper good luck

Answer 10

I think there is something much deeper in her mind and you have to know what it is until then your relationship would not be 100% perfect.