Am I still in this marriage for the "comfort" ?? Don't feel loved! Planning to end it, what should I do?

Question

My husband and I have been together since high school it'll be 15 yrs this month...we just got married last May. We have a daughter. He ignores us half the time and when he does something w/ or for us he throws it in my face almost everytime. Last night I was in the E.R. for chest pain and left arm numbness..(im OK its heartburn!!!) Anyway he was MAD because he had to drive to the hospital that is closer to my job, since I went from work it is 25 minutes away from home, I am so hurt and angry! To make things worse he brought his brother along to drive my car home, and apparently It was an issue for his wife, got into it w/ his wife today and my husbands brother called me and isulted me with really BAD words, now I am no saint I let him have it, but my question is WHY did my husband allow it? I am not asking him to fight the guy, I just feel alone! My husband swears that he told him not to come around our house anymore, but I am NOT happy, this is a family that I have always helped

in response to Teenie's question, i did not at all pressure him, be proposed to me on my bday and we were married w/in 2 months,to be honest I was more hesitant at first,after a few days I was happy to be his wife,we had issues prior to this,I think u r right we r making eachtoher unhappy did i mention he smokes alot of pot!he is great when hes stoned,why don't i leave?i guess im insecure huh...HELP! i appreciate ur honesty by the way. i also notice that he tries to make my daughter self concious about herself, from the way she eats to her hair,if she makes a mistake during a softball game he really makes her feel bad, i of course always defend her,no way he will do 2 her what he has to me.we have good times,but lately there is more bad times- i just have so much resentment toward him,i just dont know what to do! hes pretty much been the only relationship in my life..i met him at 15 and i am now 31,another thing-he is not bad looking,but i do not see the handsome guy anymore!

Answer 1

Your husbands actions aren't comforting. They are abusive and disrespectful! You two better take time to discuss what is going wrong now and agree on solutions or move on. A one-sided marriage is never good and will not survive. Get back on track now before it is too late. You can't change yesterday so both need to stop bringing up the past. Start new tomorrow and take it one day at a time.

Answer 2

You have known him for 15yrs, so what ever nonsence he has is not going to be a last minute thing. You were most probably upset because of the incident, not so much about marriage.

If you don't feel loved, then discuss with your husband what upsets you and perhaps you can tell him how you would feel loved. Some times man are such nerd that they do not know the simplest thing of how to make his woman happy. Don't be surprise that you would need to teach him how... in a nice way of course.

Anyway familiy matters should be kept within family boundaries. Husband brother should not be in the picture at all. Once both your husband and you can set the objective right, both of you will have the same focus.

Don't forget our actions are based on what is our aim or objective ultimately. Be sure both of you share the same objective. If not both will be singing a different "tune"..

take care.

Answer 3

I've been with my husband for 7 one million/two years. We began relationship in prime tuition after we had been 17. We began residing in combination earlier than that tuition yr used to be over. I did not have a hoop on my finger till two years in the past, and we nonetheless are not formally married. We do don't forget every different husband and spouse, (usual regulation marriage) however simply have not signed the paper but. We have a two one million/two yr ancient son, and expect quantity two in July. But I knew he used to be the only inside a couple of months of relationship. =)

Answer 4

I think you should seek counseling. It seems he'd say "your the one that needs it, go alone!" and you just may have to in the beginning. Have hope he will come around and that you can work it out. I do not believe in divorce as the vows you took (before God, if you're religious) we're "til death do us part." In this day & age though, those vows mean nothing... and "sticking it out for the kids" usually has the opposite effect. Use your best judgment for the sake of you and your daughter, but don't take your marriage vows lightly.

Answer 5

I 'm trying to look between your words there is more to this
story.You two have been together for 15 years and you two got married one year ago.I'm not saying you did this but could it be he felt presser from you to get married and now he resins you for it.He isn't a happy man so what do you think is making him so unhappy,was he like this before the two of you were married.It sounds like he doesn't want to be married
so he is going to make your life as unhappy as he is.Why would you want to stay with a man who obviously doesn't love you anymore and treat you and your daughter like crape.

Answer 6

um, if you feel this way, its not going to go away. unless he is planning to change. and that looks to be not happening! i was married also at the age of 17 and was married for 12 yrs. it ended after his mother and father kept putting thier two cents in "and i turned out to be always wrong!" i got sick of it. things arent going to change and i pity the next girl he brings into his family! we also have a 12 yr. old daughter, and i thought things would be real bad after divorce, i was scared to death, but eventually things got better and im living! GOD bless!

Answer 7

Go with your heart. Your spirit knows the answers. And most of the time, the correct answer is the road less travelled, and most judged by others, yet is the one heaven loves you for.

(and no im not religious)

Answer 8

I hope you find the strenght to do what is right for you, always look after you. Follow your heart