Im 16, my boyfriend is 23. People think its such a big deal because hes 7 years older. I dont really see why age matters when your in love. And I dont see why people think its wrong. Unless of course its like a 13 year old and a 19 year old..now that would be wrong.
Shouldnt it be more based on maturity level then age? Well..sorta..right? Im much more mature then he is..he can be very immature at times, but im not like that. So i dont see why some people think its wrong, when i act more like an adult then he does.
So is it really THAT bad, like some people think it is?
2007-04-11 18:34:15 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe i should mention this...
We've already talked about sex and everything..and we dont plan on having it until its legal, because we know he can get in trouble. So you cant really say hes only dating me to get into my pants, because thats not true. Infact, hes the one who suggested we wait to have sex.
And..hes in the army, so i only see him about 2 weeks every 7 months, so there isnt really much time for sex. Not that we'd have it yet anyway.
2007-04-11 18:48:45 · update #1
Actually Suga, i've known him almost 2 years, and we've been dating a year next month.
2007-04-11 18:52:00 · update #2
actually yah it's such a big gap and your underage and he's legal.... when you are older i don't think it would be such a big deal but right now while your still a teenager i think anyone you introduce your bf to will be a little wtf about it.
2007-04-11 18:38:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can see your maturity level by the magnitude of your question so dont worry about anyone guessing how mature you are not. The gap is not small between 16 & 23 but to make things a little clearer, I'd say the gap is not big between 19 & 26. Good luck..
P.S: only you will know whats good for you! ..If not, just look at the rest of the answers here & weigh what seems to be more right than wrong.
After reading your extra comments you added, I thaught I might add something here.. Maybe its ok for you two to want to be together. There are ramifications but thats under normal circumstances which you clearly are not under. You seem to know clearly what you want & what you will do in this matter. Im guessing that this question was posted simply as a matter of interest.
Best advice.. stay with him. Dont have sex until its legal to. Welcom advise from wise elders. Good luck & God Speed to him in the army!
Claude
2007-04-11 18:40:19 · answer #2 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The reason he is dating you is because he is immature. Girls his age want nothing to do with him. There are situations when I think this would be fine, this is really a case by case basis. This guy is irresponsible and he is probably using you. He is also probably a lot more experienced then you and he will use that to pressure you. It's safe to say that a 23 year old will want to have sex. If you get in to any problems though like an STI or worse pregnant, he will be nowhere to be found.
Be careful and think before you do something.
2007-04-11 18:47:55 · answer #3 · answered by vampire_kitti 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's really that bad. For one thing, it's illegal. Anyone could turn him in at any time. Could be your parents, could be someone who sees you on the street. Then he goes off to jail, and he's labeled as a sex offender for the rest of his life, which can affect the jobs he gets and the places he's allowed to live. For another thing, there is a big difference between a 16 year old and a 23 year old, in terms of maturity, or there should be. My question is, why isn't your boyfriend dating anyone his own age?
Edited to add: It doesn't matter if you actually have sex - he can get convicted of statutory rape or molestation just for kissing you. If he's in the Army he could actually get dishonorably discharged for this. You are really taking a big risk with his life here. After all, if you get caught, nothing happens to you. His whole life is ruined.
2007-04-11 18:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Jas 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You're right, the important thing is level of maturity, not age.
Obviously, your boyfriend has the maturity level of a 16 year-old, or he is trying to take advantage of you. I suspect the former, since you admit that you act more like an adult than he does.There's no way he is in love with you.
Is it wrong to date him? Yes. It can only lead to trouble.
By the way, yesterday I answered two similar questions, but the age difference was only three years, and I suggested that nothing was wrong. Seven years is nearly half your life, so we're talking about a major difference in age.
2007-04-11 18:44:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry honey, but your boyfriend is too old for you. When you're both older, the age difference won't be a big deal, but when you're still a teenager, and he's an adult, it's not a good idea.
You are still so young and you have so much ahead of you. Don't tie yourself down with an older guy right now. My youngest daughter is 18, and I really wouldn't want her to date a 23 year old. If the love is really there, then it will still be there in a few years. You deserve to have this time to experience life, go to school, and figure out what you want out of life. And if the 23 year old guy really loves you, he will want what's best for you.
2007-04-11 18:42:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is really that bad if you are more mature than he is. He's so immature he can only get someone who is 16. That tells me a lot about this guy. It's your life but you're going to fu@k it up with some weirdo. If he is immature how does he even know what love is. What happens if you get pregnant? Is he mature enough to handle a baby, hold a job and take care of you? I doubt it. Good luck I hope nothing bad happens to you.
2007-04-11 18:43:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that the gap between a 16 and 23 year old is quite big. had he been 27 and u 20 it would have been fine but you still have a long way to go when it comes to your personal development. guys do tend to be slower than girls.
I think looking at your personal situation he isnt just messing with you but you could just be blinded by love. i think you should be very carefull but i wish you the best of luck. if the way your describing it is really accurate then i think you guys should just see where this goes. just dont let him pressure you into growing up too fast.
2007-04-11 18:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since legally you are a minor, the law states that you are in no position to make a decision on that matter, so although you may concent to have a relationship, the law says you cannot decide this. I totally agree with the gentlemen who replied before me. Right now you are ok with it, but God forbid you get mad at him and it would just take a phone call to put this man in jail. It is statuatory rape if he has sex with you. Trust me, you would never allow your own child as a minor dating an older guy.
2007-04-11 18:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by rivera.arlene 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, it's 'bad' because thats societies zeigiest of today says it's not ok. Now and days this is a sign of trouble ahead. 400 years ago maby you would sound sane but not today. When a 23 year old wants to date a 16 year old there something amuck. Being mature is accepting reality. In this case a reality check needs to be considered.
2007-04-11 18:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by Alex 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hunny, look at this from a strangers point of view, this guy doesn't love you! He just wants sex, you say a 13yo and a 19yo is wrong, but your relationship is exactly the same, your only just learning how to drive while he's been an adult for more than 4 years.
Please reconsider this relationship, get a boyfriend your own age and dump the 23yo.
2007-04-11 18:42:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋