Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I gave it up to him in 7 months of relationship. I love him with all my heart, sex is good sometimes BUT sometimes my body wants to BUT my inner self doesnt. Why is that?
2007-04-11 18:34:04 · 12 answers · asked by mickie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Probably because he does not have enough to experience to know that a woman needs emotional foreplay. Men are very different from women. They separate sex and emotion. Most women do not. We need to feel that emotional warmth, before we have sex. A guy, on the other hand, can be angry with you one minute, and want sex the next. Just tell him that you need more of an emotional connection sometimes. Give him hints on how to make you feel more secure about the sex part of your relationship.
2007-04-11 18:49:51 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, depending on where you live, it may actually be illegal. In some states (particularly down South), the Age of Consent is 18 (some rumored as high as 21), and anyone copulating with someone younger (even two minors) can go to jail.
Now, presuming it's all legal and whatnot, we'll move on...
Your body "wanting to" is nothing more than physical attraction, a product of pheremones and inner desires. Now, if you were raised in a conservative home (based on my writing style, you can pretty much figure out I was), your "inner self" is your background and upbringing telling you that "this is wrong".
Alternately, it may be that you love him, but want to express your love in a different way. Sex can easily become a weapon against the other person, and often it can be overused to justify a bad relationship as "good".
Take some time and think about this. Completely take away your emotions from the relationship and think "what do I have here?". If you can honestly say "more than a physical relationship" and that he is your "best friend", then I'd say you were in love and that your inner self is worried about other things (pregnancy, the reduction of your relationship to a purely physical one, what your peers might think, etc).
If you can't say those two things (more importantly the last one), then your inner self probably is thinking that your relationship may have started out well, but morphed into something evil (probably that you're both using sex to justify a lesser degree of "togetherness" and more emotional forms of love).
As for what you could do, I'd advise strongly against cutting off the physical end of your relationship (against my conservative ways, yes, but read on...) completely. Doing so may make him think you don't love him anymore (there is some truth to the (ill-conceived) statement that sex is a display of love). Rather, mutually (keyword here: mutually) reduce it down to as minimal as possible. This accomplishes two things:
It keeps your "body" satisfied, and gives him no excuse to cheat on you (men often cheat because "it's not enough", but if you mutually decide to cut back, he's no excuse).
Once you're more sure of yourself (again, ask those two questions), do as you please. A great regret of mine was always being too "stuffy", so live life, but BE RESPONSIBLE. Even though uber-conservatives value the Condon't (aka Abstinance until marriage, then only for procreation), we're slowly realizing that not everyone knows how to properly use the Condon't (something with it being too hard to put on or something like that...), and that condoms have a place.
2007-04-11 19:21:15 · answer #2 · answered by earl71972 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No wonder you're iffy about christianity, getting involved with a guy who isn't a christian. Of course he'd only be interested in what he believes the only thing you have to offer him. And then he'll just ignore you after he gets what he wants, too. Everyone keeps telling you to wait til marriage, because they didn't, and once you have lost your virginity and finally found your partner for life, you wish you still had it. Virginity is very significant.
2016-05-18 00:06:51 · answer #3 · answered by krystle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are feeling guilty.
And you should...
This is how I feel about it ...
You should stay a virgin till you're married.
God intended it to be that way.
But many, MANY people abuse that.
And God looks down on those people.
You don't just give your virginity to just anybody.
It is the best present you can give your future husband.
It is you... it is all of you.
If you become pregnant, you can handle it better when you're married.
You'll have that person beside you who promised to always be by your side.
It won't be some random guy or some guy who you THOUGHT loved you.
Sex makes many things complicated in an unmarried relationship.
It takes two very mature people.
You do not want to get yourself lost in everything that comes with sex.
Most people nowadays tend to just BASE their relationship on sex.
I am in my early 20s. I am a virgin. I have a boyfriend of almost 14 months that I am completely in love with. We talk about marriage and how I want to wait till our wedding day to have sex. He truly does love me... he respects me. That's when you KNOW you have a great guy. That's when you KNOW he's in love with you... when he has absolutely no problem in waiting. Actions speak louder than words...
2007-04-11 18:38:11 · answer #4 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Think of it like this...You have a rose. Every time you give yourself up with sex, it's like your giving one petal at a time...By the time your ready to actually have "the one" for you, your not gonna have much left to give because all the petals on your rose are gone. That is why your inner self doesnt want to... Because inside you know it isnt right, but our human nature tells us it is...thats the best insite I can give you..
2007-04-11 18:38:51 · answer #5 · answered by !London Force! 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Deeper into the core of your heart you do not really want to. . .you feel guilty because you had sex to someone you probably won't be with for the rest of your life. . .
2007-04-11 18:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't feel it's right. That's why. You're still a teen, not married, breaking a rule in the ten commandments (if you are religious then that's probably why). It's just your hormones acting up, wanting it...craving it too much that you can't control it. I guess that's why.
2007-04-11 18:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by complete . 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe that is not the good way to prove that you love that person. If that person like you, he will made you movely. He don't have to care about that. That just my suggestion.
2007-04-11 19:15:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you first have sex theres no weird feeling in you or any doubts..you know hes the one when all those good feelings come..maybe you werent ready to have sex with him..or maybe he wasent the right one.
2007-04-11 18:41:24 · answer #9 · answered by nela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not sleep with him or anyone again till you are ready to have children. Please choose abstinence for your health
2007-04-11 18:40:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋