Today, one friend mentioned thay I had lots of illnesses. I said No I have ONE illness with lots of symptoms. My other friend agreed with me. I have the insulin resistence that comes with FM. I have the Chronic Myofascial Pain that comes with FM. I have the depression that comes with FM. I can't tolerate medications so I stay in pain. All the guy friend sees is what all I can't do. But he doesn't see what I am managing to do despite my pain. How can I get all this across to him???? I was left almost feeling defensive!
2007-04-11 18:16:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Pain & Pain Management
No one that doesn't suffer from chronic pain can ever understand what it's like.
Many people believe that it's all in your mind. You just need to try harder, mind over matter, and so on.
They really don't understand how insensitive they are being.
I too can't tolerate most medications. I still get up every day and go to work. I simply work through the pain. I can't open a bottle of water by myself though.
People also don't understand how difficult it is for us to live with the fact that we are no longer able to function as fully as we used to be. Losing your independence is a life altering event.
I wish you luck, and I understand how much effort it takes you to get up every morning and face a world full of ignorance.
I also understand how difficult it must be to have your boyfriend react so callously to your condition. Criticism is not what you need.
I don't know how you can make him understand, my own boyfriend walked out on me after 15 years because he couldn't handle it.
I don't have fibromyalgia, but I am aware of how excruciatingly painful it can be. I have cervical spondylosis, spinal degenerative disease which causes so much pain its almost blinding sometimes.
I've had two surgeries to prevent paralysis, and there are still people who think I'm faking it.
I think the only way people finally understand is if something similar happens to them. Of course, that doesn't help us, because as I'm sure you already know, we wouldn't wish these conditions on anyone.
Hang in there. Maybe if you can have your friend do some research on fibromyalgia, he might better come to understand what you're going through.
Mayoclinic.com has a great web site and they have a good deal of information on your condition.
I know this isn't much, but I do hope it helps. Good luck to you, and hang on to that friend.
2007-04-11 18:35:02 · answer #1 · answered by Firespider 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard it is to explain what you are going though, and how it is because people don't understand what you are going through or what you deal with. Many people don't see what you are able to do with your pain. If you give them some information on what you go through, and the symptoms of Fibromyalgia it may help, but otherwise you just have to deal with it, and try to let them know of the accomplishments that you have made despite the illness you have. I know how you feel- I had many people discredit that I was even in pain or even realized that what I was going through was so hard for me with my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I still have some people that just don't understand, and I've had to come around to accept it because there isn't anything I can do because they've never had much pain in their lives and they just don't understand.
2007-04-12 08:52:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go on line and print out a nice written 3 page or so description of FM for your friends. When they ask questions give them the papers to read so they can understand what you are contending with and help you to stay positive. When people are ignorant they cannot help you so make them informed about your illness.
2007-04-11 18:20:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there is a stigma associated with individuals with fibromyalgia and for the most part, the general public buys into this idea. But a friend is a friend.. and if he doesn;t support you as a friend, then you are at a position to make a choice.
2007-04-11 18:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by mysterrourke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have FM, too. I missed Easter Sunday church because I worked so hard at giving my husband a happy cookout birthday party the day before. If I push myself, then I pay dearly.....so I try regularly to listen to my body and live within my limits. I, like you, take very few meds., though I take muscle relaxers at bedtime once or twice a week (as I feel my symptoms building, this offsets it some....not much, but as you know, some is GREAT!).
My husband sometimes seems to be frustrated with my disease.....and then sometimes he seems to understand my frustration with it, too.....I have, at times, fallen all over myself in anxiety, because the regular day in and day out pain is a lot to deal with....and we deal with that part of the disease first....before we get to all our limitations and realities.
The closer you get to accepting yourself as you are, and not trying to be who you were or who somebody else wants you to be....the closer you will get to living within your means and managing your disease.......In the end, it is what it is....acceptance is key!
2007-04-11 18:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have explained it very well here in your written essay--try it with your friends. You can keep from having to explain it if you write it down and give them a copy--make copies for others--hand the copy out and walk away. I think they will get the message and stop being so inquisative about it. Just write it easy to understand and then make it clear you have NO time to talk about it again. Be proud of who you are, stand tall and do the best you can. My best wishes to you.
2007-04-11 18:22:42 · answer #6 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I also have Fibromyalgia. I have been to DOCTORS that don't understand the disease and its symptoms. If they can't understand it, then how can anyone else? I go from doctor to doctor with no change in my condition. Just pain pills and muscle relaxers and I feel so isolated.
2007-04-11 18:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by Tumbleweed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a very informative website, print it out and pass it around to everyone who needs "enlightenment". That's what my grandma did!!
2007-04-11 18:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by cheetahgrrl623 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your friend why is he being sooo mean like that??? and being your friend you shouldnt have to feel defensive!!!! tell him to buzz off and find someone new like the friend that stuck up for you. that is a good friend
2007-04-11 18:20:29 · answer #9 · answered by dede 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have a thing to prove. keep ur head up high and live life for you.
2007-04-11 18:20:30 · answer #10 · answered by krazyinchicago 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋