Catholics? Appreciate your answers on this - having kids but just not my own?

Question

Is it wrong for me to choose not to have children yet adopt children and bring them up as my own with love in a happy family? I mean being married of course! That would mean either tieing up my tubes etc... Frankly speaking I do not wish to have children of my own not that I don't love children.

At the end of it I believe children are God's gift but at the same time there are so many abandoned children who lack love. And certainly I want to adopt as many children that both my future husband and I can support financially. At the end of it, the children should feel loved and yet not materialistically compromised. I want to love them as how Jesus taught me to love others.

Mother Theresa once said that the greated sickness/disease in the world is to feel unloved. So do you think what am doing is unjustified?

Answer 1

I can't think of any reason in the Catholic church why you wouldn't be able to adopt children.

Remember that the Catholic church frowns on any form of birth control - and that includes female sterlization just for this reason. Not for health problems. So that may be an issue there.

But taking in children - not at all.

Answer 2

Good question, and according to the Catholic Church, there is absolutely nothing wrong with adopting a Child.

I am not sure about how many Children are abandoned, most people I find looking to adopt have a long wait, some have waited over 5 years to adopt a child because of several factors, (one being the spread of sexually transmitted viruses that leave women sterile later in life) there are a lot of childless families.

If you want an older child or a child with some sort of disability, the chances of a quick adoption are much greater.

O.K. back to the question of sterilization and the Catholic Church, the Church says that a true marriage means that the two people are open to each other, and that Artificial birth control or sterilization puts a barrier between the two people, and that we are to accept Children as gifts from God.

You might do some more research here:

www.Catholic.com

Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 3

Adopting children is a noble and commendable thing to do. If you feel a calling to adopt as many needy children as is financially feasible, more power to you.

However, I am troubled by your attitude towards having your own children. You rightfully claim children are gifts from God, but then you immediately flaunt that Truth by claiming your plan to have your tubes tied.

Divine Gifts (children in this case) should NEVER be questioned, simply accepted.

Jesus does not favor one child over another. He loves them all equally. In the spirit of loving as Jesus loved, you are called to adopt if you so choose but, in doing so, remaining open to the possibility that Jesus may call you to love a child He wishes you to conceive.

To advocate the acceptance of an adopted child but, at the same time, reject children you conceive yourself, is not to love the same way Jesus would love.

Saying, "Yes" to children in need of adoption is a loving thing to do. But just how Christ-like can that love be when you've said "no" to loving children you may conceive yourself?

You say, "Children should feel loved." I agree so long as you mean ALL CHILDREN, not just certain ones.

In the end, conception is an act of God. It truly is a miracle, that's not just some cliche. Do you really believe any form of birth control, short of abstainence, will keep the All Powerful God from conceiving children when and where He wants?

Good luck with adopting and all. But, if you really want it to mean anything, remain open to having children of your own.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with adoption what-so-ever, but if indeed you are Catholic, which it sounds like, then you can't practice an artificial form of birth control (ie. tubes tied, the pill, condoms, etc...). However something called Natural Family Planning (NFP) is acceptable as a form a naturally avoiding pregnancy. But you're going to have to talk to your priest about this before you get married, because in the Catholic Church marriage is an institution which is designed for pro-creation, and spouses must be open to having children of their own. Remember, what God really wants is life, and for all souls, as many as possible, to spend eternity with Him. Adoption is awesome, but so is allowing God to create new life where He desires (between a married couple). Nothing wrong with adopting and having children of your own also.

Answer 5

it is a sin (a mortal one i believe) to get your tubes tied or ever use any kind of birth control, condom, or contraception in the Catholic Church, Catholics may only use Natural Family Planning, or NFP, which is a system used where the married couple has sex only when the woman is at a certain time on her period and is thus infertile, but id be willing to bet money no priest would approve of you using NFP the rest of your life and adopting kids, though you could almost certainly adopt kids on the side while having some of your own, since this is a charitable act and whatnot

Answer 6

I'm not Catholic, but I think you should take to heart the apostle James' words at James 4:14-15.

I don't see these abandoned children. I see a society that doesn't make it fit right. If you want to help, help big. I've had my kids taken off of me for no good reason. Parents don't give up kids. You can talk neglect all day long, but parents are neglected. They need the help, so they can help their kids.

Your kind-hearted attitude sounds like pathos to me. It also sounds like boasting. If you believe in Jesus, then why don't you extol his work in the world instead of trying to point out where he's allegedly failed and you could do better?

I love abandoned children but I pray for them, rather than assuming that child adoption agencies are absolutely chock-a-block full of decent people.

Why is Angelina Jolie or somebody allowed to publicly criticise the mother of her latest adoptive child? Tom Cruise is trying to convert her to Scientology, so she's obviously got clout.

Hasn't anybody noticed how biological parents are practically treated like they got it wrong to display their "original sin" so publicly? They are demonised to the extent that "demon" means a distributor of fates and fortunes. If you happen to be somebody who tries to expose the corruption in the world - and that's what's causing the "abandoned kids", not the parents (we're only human), you create powerful enemies. They have political clout and they hit you where it hurts most. Don't assume that your adoptive children would have been told the truth.

If you do decide to raise children, watch out for dodgy professionals. People actually think it's a good idea to teach kids to delay self-gratification (that's teaching them to become addicts due to UNDUE stress). Life's stressful enough as it is. Why would you try some sort of societal fix? Don't overstep your boundaries. You have a duty as a Christian to respect your health as God's temple.

Answer 7

I think according to the Church teachings if you are married you should have children of your own. It is a great blessing to be a natural mother. Have lots of kids, God willing. It is also a great blessing to be an adoptive mother. Consider being a mother to your own kids and adopted ones. Motherhood is a wonderful experience and you wont regret having your own as well as adopting!
God Bless!

Answer 8

I'm not a Catholic, I'm an atheist. So, sorry for barging in.

I did a lot of volunteer work in orphanages. There is a huge shortage of couples who are willing to adopt children.

I don't know much about the catholic religion, but I can see no wrong in doing such a selfless act of compassion. I would applaude you if you would take the step towards adoption.

Answer 9

You didn't say why you don't want any children of your own. Would there be problems like health concerns if you had your own? Tubal ligation is against the teaching of the Church because it prevents procreation which is the goal of sex. But if you need it for health reasons or some other compelling reason it might be okay, but I am not sure about it.

For more information about your concern go to this link.

http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt3sect2chpt2art5.htm

Peace and every blessing!

Answer 10

As long as you and your husband are not using artificial contraception then God will honor your commitment to bring children into your marriage through adoption rather than procreation.

Natural Family Planning (NFP) would be the logical choice in your case.

God bless you.