husbands just gone back to iraq after a 2 week leave-help??!!?

Question

My hubby came home from Iraq on R and R for 2 weeks and just left to go back this morning at 10am to fly to atlanta and then to germany, kuwait, then back to his fob in Iraq. We are crazy in love, been married 2 years this July, and this is our first deployment. He has 6 more months left in Iraq (if he doesn't get extended).

I'm having a hard time since he left this morning. I was BAWLING, hysterical at the airport, drove myself home, and then came inside and cleaned house and cried off and on all day long. I haven't eaten anything since 8 am this morning before my husband left we got breakfast but i have no apetite and the thought of food makes me sick right now. I'm feeling really stressed here and lonely and I was doing really good emotionally, handling stuff, etc before he came home on leave. I don't know if I got spoiled while he was here and that's why it's so hard but right now I just feel like jumping in a coma until he comes back home. I worry so much about him..

I'm really upset that he had to go back. I know he needs to be there and I support him. I just love him so incredibly much. I'm worried about his flight over there and i have no clue when i'll hear from him next. I dont know if he'll be able to call me from germany or kuwait or if he will have to wait till he gets back to his fob. Any kind words of advice, thoughts, prayers for my husband and for me would be great. thanks to everyone and i will pick a best answer.

Answer 1

Ugh, I remember how I felt when I dropped my husband off at the airport after his R&R. It was so much harder than saying goodbye to him the first time. I felt EXACTLY like you do now... wanting to just take a nap and not wake up until he comes home.

Here's the good news... although you feel AWFUL right now, you're going to ease back in to your normal deployment life really soon. In fact, by the time you read this post, you'll probably already be feeling a little bit better. You'll get back into the swing of things. Don't worry... you're not breaking down and this isn't how you're going to be for the rest of the deployment. You're just having a really bad day. Don't get too down on yourself... go ahead and cry. Deployments are hard!

Take care of yourself. I know you'll be fine!

Answer 2

I know EXACTLY how you feel! Find a way to occupy your time. I rented the entire 5th season of 24 the day my husband left and watched half of it that day. It took me about 2 weeks til I wasn't crying every day. Now (It'll be 7 weeks on Friday) I only cry every few days. Most of the time, right after I've just talked to him, or right now :-). I know how you feel about jumping in the coma. The same thought has gone through my head since he left. We'll be celebrating our 3 year anniversary in May half way around the world from each other. We've only had our 2 year anniversary together. The first one he was gone too.

Where my husband is at, there's a computer center with web cams there. We talk mostly that way. It's nice to be able to see him. Brightens up my whole day. Though I cry after I'm done talking to him. He's my best friend in the entire world, and throughout our 3 year marriage, we've never been together more than 8 months at a time.

Be strong for him. Let him vent on you when he calls. And don't fight with him on the phone. So many of the girls do that, and I don't get it. It just upsets the guys and gives them something else to worry about.

Also, check out www.motomail.us. You can write letters to him on there. They get printed out and delivered to him. He'll get them within 24-48 hours. I've found it to be the quickest way to get him a message, though it can be frustrating when you need to tell him something or ask him something right then and you can't.

The worst part for me was that I had to say goodbye 3 different times. His deployment was moved back 12 hours, so he wasn't due to leave til I went to work. I said good bye, then went to work, but was so upset, I couldn't stay, so I came home. Then we said good bye again when he left. A little while later, he called me and said he forgot something and needed me to bring it to him. So I had to say goodbye again. It's so hard, but the girls I work with who have been through, or are going through the same thing as me understood the best. One day it'll be over and you'll be with him. It just seems sooo long and that's what makes it so hard.

Answer 3

Jumping into a coma probably wouldnt be the best idea! You have to keep yourself occupied otherwise the time will just slowly creep by leaving you more time to think about him not being there. He needs you right now more than you need him. I couldnt imagine what it feels like to be in his shoes right now, and he needs all the support he can get. If he knows that you are upset, depressed and not in your right state of mind right now it will only make him worry.

Its hard, i know. Just look forward to the day that he is home with you and use that as encouragement to stay strong.. Times like this make you appriciate the little things couples do. Always treasure what you have, because there are a lot of other people that are in worse situations. You made the best of the two weeks he was home right? There are many women, mothers, children, etc in your position right now so know that you are not alone. Time is your worst enemy right now. He may not be able to contact you for a while, but just know he is probably thinking about you as much as you are thinking about him.

Keep your head up!

Answer 4

My experiences with hubby leaving from R&R are exactly the same. Reading that was like looking in the mirror, because I always have the same reaction. It's just as bad, if not worse, than when they left the first time. I do find that I normally get back into my "deployment routine" faster after R&R than I do at the beginning of the deployment.

It's ok to be sad. You miss him, and saying good-bye and putting him on a plane back to a combat zone is never fun. Give yourself a few days to be upset, then try your hardest to get back to normal. He'll call when he can. Sometimes that's from Germany, sometimes it's not until he's back with his unit. Just know that he's as upset as you and he wants to call home as badly as you want him to. Once he calls, things usually seem more normal to me, and I can get back into the swing of things.

In the meantime, please take care of yourself. I, too, have trouble eating when he's deployed (hubby says he was shocked at how small I was when he got home last summer). I don't get hungry and I forget to eat because I'm so sad/stressed/whatever. Keep a stock of quick, easy meals on hand so that you can force yourself to eat when you don't feel like it. Having to cook when you already feel that way is really daunting, so I always stock the freezer with TV dinners right before deployments. It's not the healthiest, but it's much healthier than not eating!

Your strength will come back, and you will make it through the rest of your deployment. Just stay busy and take care of yourself!

Answer 5

My husband just left on March 30th after 2 weeks leave for Camp Lejeune, going to war for a 7 month tour at the end of summer. I know exactly how you feel, and after 2 weeks I still cry everyday and wish he was here. We have a 4 year old son together, whom he just pretty much met in December since he was in Japan for so long. I cried so hard the way home from the airport, and just went back to his house and laid in his bed. It is very hard, and you feel like you don't know what to do without them. I have become very depressed and have just haven't been myself since he left, and our son has really been effected as well. Every little thing reminds you of them, and you're constantly wondering where they are and if they're okay. It seems like it hurts so much worse now than it did before their little "vacation" home, and the pain isn't going away any time soon. There's nothing anyone can really say to help the pain, because nothing can bring them home to you. The one person who can, won't.

If you want to talk, feel free to email me at [e-mail]

Answer 6

Your feelings are understandable. When they come home on RR it is like you have to go through it all over again. It is tough being a military wife. The RR's are nice,but they are bitter sweet. Yes, you love having him home but in short time you have to do it all over again. At this point, try to focus on his next home coming. Set a goal and achieve it. If you have a community college near by, see if they have some continuing Ed classes like sewing, baking, or floral design. Maybe a photography class. You know something just for fun. It will get you around other people and keep your mind busy. You can email him about how you burnt your cooking assignment or how you sewed your shirt to your sewing project (ha ha). This will help him feel good too because it gets them down in the dumps too when we are. Take care and I hope some of these tips are helpful. I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. .

a USMC wife

Answer 7

I know how you feel, thank god for today technoligy, that were able to say in touchs through Computers, Camaras, Satelite TV., my favorite the telephone, cell phone, veidio phone also. The President made a big mistake, and our mens/ womens in uniforms got to pays a price for our freedom. I say do thing like volunteer work at the VA hospital, helping an elderly person keep your mind busy so you don,t panic. Sweety you must eat when he come home he doesn,t want to see a boney lady, he want a healthy wife, and not someone he going to feed through a tube ,think about it he fighting, and your his wife not those Iragies starving monkeys that want bloods for dinner.

Answer 8

Make the better of the couple of minutes that yall have collectively earlier he leaves. i understand that the two he and you're dealing with a hard time top now. Been there completed that. i understand that it aint undemanding, my spouse and that i went in the time of the comparable ingredient as quickly as I deployed. in case you dont have a video digicam top now, get one. Up till the time he leaves, make movies and take photos. whilst i replaced into in Iraq, I continually regarded the photos and movies that I had and eagerly awaited those that my spouse despatched. additionally checklist him examining his daughters' widespread books at nighttime time, that way whilst he's lengthy gone, you are able to play the video and it is frequently only like he's examining it to her. With him being an MP, understand that he wont have the flexibility to speak to you universal, so dont initiate getting mad that he hasnt talked to you for some days. Days and weeks went via in specific circumstances earlier we'd get to speak to a minimum of one yet another. only confirm to stay reliable and luxuriate in the time. It wont get extra straightforward, yet you're able to make it.

Answer 9

Just take it easy, and try to calm down, try to keep busy, and I don't know what else to say to you at the moment, because your feeling's will be so raw, your going through the motion's, get someone to sit with you if that's possible, if not stay online, just keep talking and let it out, even if you shout or cry, just hang in there and know that we are all out here praying for you and your husband, "GOD BLESS YOU BOTH" and "GOOD LUCK"

Answer 10

Be strong sweetie. You're doing your part by sticking their by him until he returns.

You're in a tough situation but just think about the day he will return and all this waiting will be worth it.

Just stay busy, write letters, send boxes.

For a man in the service those things mean so much.

I am wishing the best for both of you.