Why does my boyfriend repeatedly ask me to marry him?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than a year and we have talked about marriage. He has even asked me if I would marry him, but he said he still hasn't asked "officially." He has even gone so far as to purchase a ring. He said I could see it if I wanted to and try it on so if it needed to be resized he could have it done before he proposed. I'm really confused and hurt by this because the element of surprise is gone now and when I told him this he said he wasn't ready to propose because there were still things that he "needed to take care of." I told him that I really felt like he was stringing me along and of course this upset him. Why has he gone about it this way? I feel like he has no regard for my feelings concerning this. Please, no crude answers! Thanks

Answer 1

He's a bit insecure and it is a big step. Try to be a bit more sensitive.

As for the surprise, why don't you ask him to marry YOU?

Answer 2

Have you made it clear to him that you want to get married? Maybe he is just really nervous that you won't want to marry him, so he throws out "hints" (although he could be much more subtle) because he wants to know if when he finally does ask whether you are going to say yes. Maybe just have a good long conversation with him about what both of you want. And maybe, with all this planning he is doing, it WILL be an awesome proposal, and this is just preparation!

Answer 3

It sounds to me as though he is very nervous about it, and he thinks his actions will make the "actual" asking easier. It seems he is trying to sound you out to see exactly where YOU stand in this. Try to talk it out with him. Express your feelings, especially the fact that you are hurt. Don't accuse him of anything, just stick to telling him what your feelings are. If he gets defensive, let it go for the time being. Good luck and I hope things work out for you!