My teenage daughter has hit me and my arm ,it is badly bruised.?

Question

My partner and I split up 6 months ago,her aunt had said to her she should get a little job whilst at college,on the way home she went balistic at me because I agreed with her aunt.At first I remainded calm and then I swore at her,she said she wanted to go to her Dads,she came back guns ablazing,shouting at me ,I asked her not to shout,I walked away,she dragged me back,shouting ,get here now.Her Dad came in and said I am a bully,I showed him my arm,he said ,ok put it away ,seen it now,but you swore at her yesterday.One of the reasons I asked him to go is because he was part of the problem with the teenage dramas,not part of the solution,how would you deal with this.?

Answer 1

im afraid she would be out, unless she showed genuine remorse and apologised profusely... my kids know that when they get older they can stay as long as they never lay a finger on me and the day they do they cannot live with me. you dont say how old but if at college i assume 17-18ish, far too old to think she can do this, to be honest im a believer in tough love and would report her to the police for assault. your ex sounds like a pratt also, who is encouraging her, so what if you swore, doesnt excuse violence...do not live in fear of your own child, send her to dads, at least you arent making her homeless. good luck

Answer 2

Well, if she was the child with the bruised arm, you'd be in jail, as we speak.
Your daughter has behaved in a very disrespectful way. It is unacceptable. However, you should also treat her with respect. There is no reason, ever, to swear at your daughter. Not that that justifies her bruising your arm. (Sometimes you have to think "Is it worth a jail sentence?" and often the answer is "Yes!" but this is a kid we're dealing with and tomorrow it willall blow over.
Your daughter is probably reacting to the split up - it's a bad age, with hormones, exams, etc etc. No split is ever good for kids, and it always affects them.
I'd ask her to move out - let him take over. There's no way you need that kind of abuse. If he thinks he can do a better job, let him.

Answer 3

Violence is never the answer to anything. Teens are always hot headed and let the heart rule the head.
I would go to your daughters room and ask to talk to her. Show her the bruise she gave you and say how much you have been hurt not just physically but emotionally.
Talk about the problems that are getting in the way of your lives and try to be honest with each other.
Ask your daughter what it is she wants out of life and try to be supportive. This works both ways BTW. You need to then ask your daughter for her support and her respect.

Answer 4

CALL THE POLICE -- file a Domestic Violence complaint against your Teen Daughter, and yes, let the officer photograph your bruises, give a statement, and make sure that you follow up.

CALL the Police on your daughter as soon as she hits you -- EACH and EVERY TIME. YOU do NOT deserve to be abused at all. KEEP Calling when she assaults you. DO NOT call the ex -- he will CONTINUE to be a part of the problem .. and yes, he is making excuses (was he also abusing you too? Then that is where your DAUGHTER learned that "Abuse is OK"!).


That is how this Long Term Single Parent dealt with having her own children's assaults on her while they were teenagers (and yes, their father also was abusive). I CALLED the POLICE each time .. I DEMANDED That the Officer take Photos of my bruises .. and yes, I backed it up with photos from my own Camera too (because ... the police are not taking seriously ABUSE of the PARENT by a TEENAGER!). I would file the reports, I would DEMAND that the child be TREATED, REQUIRED under a court order to take their meds and comply with their therapy -- all to make sure that they LEARNED that VIOLENCE was NOT acceptable.

The last straw came when the Adult Child helped the Ex Burglarize my home in August 2006 -- and ... to make it even more hurtful -- they left DIRECT WRITTEN (in their own handwriting) EVIDENCE that they willingly Burglarized MY HOME after I already filed the NO Trespass and filed the Protective Orders too!

I DID file the Burglary Report, I DEMANDED and pointed out to the OFFICER (who tried to 'convince' me that they were 'invited guests' -- Yeah, right) that he MUST Take into evidence EVERY thing that they left INCLUDING The HANDWRITING that shows it definitely was them!

STILL Waiting for the Case to go to court. Just that the police/DA is not willing to move the case up because they have 'different priorities'.

Answer 5

sounds as though she has some deep emotional issues with u... and this latest argument has added fuel to the fire. i would try to get some professional advice on this if i were u.... see if u can get your daughter to agree to go to some counselling sessions with u. no doubt some people will disagree with my opinion, but i honestly think it would help u and your daughter to sit down together, and try to get to the bottom of this problem, and having someone else there who isn't bias towards either u or your daughter, and who could suggest some ways to improve your relationship, could really help. if that's not possible, then i suggest that u let her go live with her dad... she might learn a valuable lesson - ie, that the grass isn't always greener on the other side !

Answer 6

Well if she old enough to be an adult and act liek a bully and disrespect a parent. SHe should be aol enough to go to jail. SOrry but if you don't put a stop to this right now she will get worse. And your Husband shouldn'y eancourage teh girl especially taking sides with her against what he know s is wrong. SO send her to jail and let teh husband work it out with her. And tell her if she's going to act civil and respect you she can visit if not hey your an adult stay with the father and let him worry about her.

Answer 7

Sounds like you have a smart *** kid. You need to let her know that YOU are the boss not her. Sounds like your losing this battle pretty badly. Maybe let her go to her dads for a while. This kid will eventully piss him off when she doesn't get what she wants and then he'll want her back with you. At least then you'll have him back on your side when it comes to trying to make decisions on the problem child down the road.

Answer 8

if she wants to go to her dads then it may ease the friction between you, you need to make it clear, however, that although you understand how the split has upset her, violence is a no go area, you need to stand firm with these boundaries, her dad needs to take resonsibilty too, and having her stay with him would make him realise perhaps just how difficult she can be, i've had very similar problems with my eldest, he stayed with his dad last year for a while, but soon realised which side his bread was buttered, i stood my ground about foul language and violence, he's settled down somewhat now

Answer 9

Im 19 and i used to be bad to my mom...i was very mean i do admit. I love her and regret it! You need to show her that you brought her in to this world and you have done your best to raise her and that she needs to realize that your only trying to get her prepared for the world cause you wont always be there. Tell her to leave your house and see whos going to want to take her in with her attitude for free!

Answer 10

it seems you couldn't work things out with your husband when married, and even worse when divorced. the sad thing

1 you couldn't work together when married second is
in divorce children get hurt the worse.

i would be on your side from what you wrote.

not much you can do, it's too late in her life, just try talking to her and hope she understands