am I already too obsessed with my boyfriend?

Question

I have been dating this guy for about 5 days (its not an immature relationship, its actually pretty mature) we have known each other longer than that though. He will be 17 in June and I will be 16 in september. I think Im already too attatched to him. I expect him to call me all the time and text me and IM me and when he doesnt I freak out. I dont express it to anyone, especially him because I know it is immature. I always wonder where he is and what he is doing. How can I stop this?

Answer 1

Actually, most girls go through this same phase when a relationship is brand new. You want to be around this person all the time and things like. I actually think what your experiencing is pretty normal, I went through it when I first started dating my boyfriend.

I think you'll have this urge to do all these things for the first couple of months and then it'll subside after a while. I say to try to control your urge to call him all the time because you don't want him to think you're clingy. Like I said try to control the urge to call him and don't always expect him to call you, and all this should subside when the relationship reaches your comfort point and it isn't all brand new. OK?

Answer 2

It seems you may have too much time on your hands. I have a long distance relationship and am always thinking about my boyfriend when I am bored. I would try to get yourself more involved in some hobby or activity so that he is not always on your mind.

I think you are right to caution yourself at this point in the relationship. If he feels you are smothering him too much he might not want to date you any more. I think healthier relationships start slower (just my opinion).

On the other hand, he might not be the type that likes to text/IM/talk all the time. A part of being in relationships is learning what type of person makes you most happy - maybe you need someone that wants to contact you all the time. Either way, good luck!

Answer 3

If you want to be in a mature realtionship you have to realize maturity is NOT talking, seeing eachother, texting, and whatnot 24/7.
In order for a relationship to be mature and last, you've both got to give eachother space. Just because you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you shouldn't hang out with your friends anymore and stuff like that. When he's busy, occupy yourself by talking to some of your friends, going out with your friends, reading a book, going online (myspace? facebook? xanga? etc), writing poems or lyrics, playing games, watching TV & movies, homework, etc. to take your mind off of wandering where he's at.
AND, if you were to freak out on him about not calling you all the time, he'd probably break up with you. So, what's best is that you take the advice of occupying yourself with things you can do during the time you're not with or talking to him and make sure you two give eachother space so that when you are talking or together, you can appreciate one another.

Answer 4

I'm glad you realize that its not the most mature way to act and you keep it to yourself. And I think you already know the answer, yes you are obsessed, BUT because you know this its not too late to stop it. Everytime you find that you're thinking too much about him do something that highly interests you, i.e. watch your favourite show or movie, talk on the phone and eventually you should be able to tone your obsessions down and do more subtle things like homework etc without thinking of him too much. I think before you know it he will stop being the centre of everything you do.

Answer 5

You just contradicted yourself. At first you say that the relationship is a "mature" one then you go and say that your behavior is "immature." (Besides, having been there myself, it's very nearly impossible to have a mature relationship at 15.)

You can't be up this guy's butt all the time. That's a surefire way to push him away.

You are too obsessed. You need to back off.

If its really killing you to know what he's doing, ask him at the beginning of the day what his plans for the day are. If he doesn't answer or is brushing you off, then you know that he's not as into you as you are into him. Then your best bet will be to say g'bye to him and find someone who is as anal as you are.

Answer 6

Honey, people have thier own lives and to be honest even once you grow up and get married, you will not be with your husbund every second of the day. Trust is important to any relationship and so is some healthy space..... absence makes the heart grow fonder right! Just take a breath and live and let live!!!

Answer 7

I've been there life is too short to be obsessed with this guy, u are just 16 years old, u got all u life in front of u, just do things with u friends or family. But never ever tell this boy that u are obsessed with him.

Answer 8

i remeber being your age and having the same problem. i used to fall hard for guys and since your so young theres a good chance the relationship won't last forever(not to scare you, but a lot changes when you get older). i found the best way is just try your best not to obsses too much and think about him too much cause if you do, when you break up it hurts. i had a lot of "bad" break ups when i was ur age but now almost 6 years later i can look back and laugh at them. good luck and try not to obsses to much

Answer 9

Yes, you are getting obssessed him. You must practice yourself with those routines because sooner or later, you'll get used to it and sometimes a person get tired also, in that case, he is that person. In the end, you two will always argue and ending up in break up and you don't want that to happen, right? Just make him miss you so there will be mystery in your relationship. Guys love challenges!!!

Answer 10

I do the same thing, but with my best guy friends. Sometimes I think I like one of them, but then I'm like, no, we're just really good friends, which we are. I think its fine that you want to know what he's doing because he is your boyfriend. You should treat him like he's one of your best friends, except show affection towards him at appropriate times. (secretly, just don't make it obvious to anyone, especially him, that you're obsessive, and just keep it to yourself.) I hope everything works out for you guys (: