I have a 21 year old Step Daughter who has recently been in and out of jail. She is a meth user. We have gotten her a sponsor to help her, but she has only contacted her once. She is doing nothing to help herself by getting help or a job. She lays around the house and does not clean up after herself and rarely bathes. She also brings home not so trust worthing people and I have tried to talk to my husband about putting an end to it. And all he says if I don't let her have her friends over she will leave. What do I do? When my son had a problem we sent him on his way. He has learned to get by and live with the mistakes he has made, but my husband finds it alot different because she is a female. Please help me.
2007-04-11 08:40:13 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
NOW .. right now .. .the SAME deadline for the Daugher needs to apply here (like with the son). YOU BOTH need to put the foot down and TELL Her enough is enough. NO ONE over, NO ONE in the home, Get a job in 30 days and be prepared to get out NOW!
Especially so if SHE is STILL using/Abusing. You and your husband could LOSE your HOME if this continues. She needs to be OUT NOW!!!!!
2007-04-11 08:54:42 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Male or female makes no difference. By you not forcing her to get a job & become self sufficent you are enableing her to continue without having to grow up. Next she will have kids for you to raise & take care of.
With my kids when they came back home I gave them a time limit to find a job, any job. Then they were expected to pay rent(small amount for food & board).
If you don't they will be 35 & still hanging with the same druggie crowd & mooching off you but they will have children living there too for you to feed & clothe & take care of.
2007-04-11 16:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
show her to door. as long as she knows that she has a place to stay for free, and does not have to work, she is going to continue to use you. i am very sorry for you that you have to put up with a 21 year old adult acting like a child. i would tell your husband that you love him, but he is going to have to put his foot down. how do you sleep at night knowing that she might bring one of her drug friends into your home? i hope that you can get her out and let her get back on her feet without using you.
2007-04-11 15:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by buzyb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's called TOUGH LOVE kick her out of the house don't accept phone calls or worry about her when she's ready to act like an adult and take responsibility for her self then she can come back but you need to talk to her outside the house when she's ready to live by your rules it's a tough thing to do but it's the only way.
2007-04-11 16:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by sandra r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is old enough to have a job give her a time frame like a few weeks to get herself together
if your son moved on then she shouldnt have a problem
2007-04-11 15:44:13 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Sabre♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to get a job or kick her out. your house, your rules. shes using you.
2007-04-11 15:45:38 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's not ready to stop meth, sorry... till she IS ready, she wont stop... and she wont work either
she needs to be out on her own to find her way
2007-04-11 15:44:13 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should get a job now.
If she doesn't leave, you should.
2007-04-11 15:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Stan W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough love ASAP
2007-04-11 15:45:24 · answer #9 · answered by luminous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋