Does my best friend have a lot of nerve to ask me this?

Question

I have this best friend. She is thirty three years old and does not work or attend college or anything. However, she shares a condo with her sister. She is fully capable of working part time.
Or, going to school for that matter. My problem is I'm a bit angry at her because I phoned her a couple of days ago. And, she was mad at me because I was not helping her out with gas money or tip money. She says I should give her three to five dollars for gas or tip money whenever we go out. She says it bothers her. We usually go out on the weekends once a week. She drives and picks me up at my house.I told my other friend about this and she said it was rude of her to ask me for gas money. I'm kind of angry at my friend. Does my best friend have a lot of nerve to ask me for this?

What should I tell her if anything about how I'm feeling?

Answer 1

As this is a personal issue, I can't speak for you, but if it was me, and my friend asked for gas money, I'd be furious. To me, that's tacky, heartless, and trashy. If she's going out, too, and you're along for the ride, then she'd be spending about the same on gas AND she's getting to pal around with her friend. Now, if she's playing shuttle bus for you and taking you to the doctor or dropping you off, then yeah, you should offer to pay her. Otherwise, I think that's outrageous. No matter her income status: if she has the money to go out, then she has enough to absorb the gas to bring along a friend. It makes it more fun, anyway. If it's your idea, though, and you talk her into it, despite her protests, then you should pay for all the gas.

I'll tell you about my friend Maggie. She's 5 years my junior, a college student, lives with her parents, and only gets money from her mom for babysitting a little sister. I'm married and we both have good jobs, yet when she picks me up to go out to dinner for a girl's night, she never accepts any gas money. I've offered, but she won't take it. Instead, I'll sometimes pay for her drinks, or something, but she gets upset if I do that too much. She's one classy girl and knows her monetary limits. Friends don't ask friends for money unless it's agreed upon up front, like going "halfsies" on a hotel room or bottle of good Champagne to share.

Just my opinion. ;)

Answer 2

If she is the one that is always driving, it would be nice for you to offer to chip in for gas every now and then, but she shouldn't ask for it.....especially if you both agreed to go out and she was the one that offered to drive. Instead of making a big deal of it, next time you go out offer to drive or meet her there, then she won't have any reason for you to help with gas.

Answer 3

i personally would never ask any of my friends for money when we go out. i'm out to have a good time with people i care for, not to bank on gas money. but in all actuality, she has ever right to ask for gas money if she is the driver all the time, tacky as it may be. why is she asking for tip money? for what?

she doesn't work, so she is trying to get back money used. kind of makes you feel like she is using you as her gas provider, but she is picking you up.

Answer 4

Don't you think you have a bit of nerve to expect her to pay for the gas you both use? If she drives every time, she is paying to transport you both. Don't you think you should offer to help? Whether she works or not is irrelevant. You are free-loading and allowing her to pay for you to get around. And it sounds like you allow her to pay the tips where ever you go. Do you also allow her to pay for everything else?

Answer 5

No she isn't wrong...i used to have a friend who wanted to always go out with me...but she had no ride...i later lerned when i wasn't going out, she would call someone else...not that i cared, but she would give someone else gas money...i learned from making a joke with her about putting gas money in someones else car...and not mine...she said because i was her friend and shouldn't mind...i we could hang out together and get each others back...was cool with that until she mentioned...that it was cheaper to hang out with me...yu should give her gas money...one out of two times...besides...why don't you drive......

Answer 6

The fact that she has a job or not does not matter. You two go out every week, she drives every time, you should offer to pay for gas or buy her a drink. Still, she should not have asked.

Answer 7

That is really rude of her. I don't think it would look so bad on her part if she had A JOB! But no, that is really wrong of her and yeah, she does have a lot of nerve. You can pay for your stuff, but she should pay for her own crap instead of making excuses for you to fork over some cash.

Answer 8

I thought people who "worked" In the service Industry got tips.. Not FRIENDS who happened to drive to go out.. What a B**CH. I 'd say screw her.. Find a better friend.. I can see chipping in when someone is broke but jobless..... Tell her to get a life.. And become a responsible adult. and her sister is at fault for letting her "mooch" too..

Answer 9

If she invited you then asked for money, this is rude.

You say she's the one that does all the driving; I get that this is a standing arrangement?

I don't get how she owes you a ride and free drinks because you feel her life is easier or whatever. I hope this tip money you refer to is to bar/wait staff?

You didn't say what you do?

Answer 10

Where does she get her money from it she doesn't work? No, she has no right to ask you that. I could understand if she is driving you to work daily or something, but just to go out on the weekend...um, no...she shouldn't ask you such a ridiculous question. "Friends" have some nerve sometimes!
PS: If you are feeling that strongly about having to say something to her, tell her you do not understand her reasoning with the "tip money" and that you would gladly find a different friend to go out with for free!