should she take him back??

Question

I have a friend who started to go out with this guy, but then she dumped him pretty quickly becuase he kept trying to touch her in ways that she didn't like, but although she told him he still carried on.

He is now saying he won't do it any more if she takes him back, and he is literally begging her to take him back but she doesn't want to because she is still not sure she wants to be with a guy that "physical".

I am really worried about her because she still cares about him but she thinks he is taking her the wrong way and he does not respect her feeling enough, and she thinks he will want to go further than he does.

What should she do?? Please reply. Thanks a lot :-)

Answer 1

How old are u? U sound young, that is besides the point.

There are boundaries. If your mate/lover/friend steps over them with no regard for you -- you HAVE TO HAVE ENOUGH RESPECT FOR YOURSELF to stand up for yourself and not be taken advantage of. No means NO!! If you don't want to be touched -- that is your perogative.

It's OK to care for him still and NOT TAKE HIM BACK. You think just because you care for someone you should be with them??? That's the problem. People don't reallize you can care / love / want / think-about someone 25,000 miles away!! U don't have to be w/them if they are not doing the right thing -- that will affect YOU more than them. Let them know what they are doing wrong - give them the chance to fix it - when you see EVIDENCE / PROOF that this has been done -- then THINK ABOUT giving that person another chance. Other than that, you will spend your life w/someone who doesn't really care or love you.

Answer 2

I can't give you any advice here because I've had a funny thing happen to me a couple of weeks ago. You see, I like this girl that works at the restaurant & bar that I go to. She's been told I like her. I've never been married before and neither has she. I'm 48 and she's 37. I'm a little tentative because of relationship I had years ago. I figured she might be as well, so I kind of played it slow. I've never had an extended conversation with her, and the only time I see her is when she works. Last time I saw her, her friend told me that I make her uncomfortable and nervous. Although I've never had an extended conversation with her, the notion that I somehow make her nervous gives me a lable of stalker. I am not only disappointed about it, I'm offended by it. This iligitimate, and unfounded accusation speaks a thousand words. I don't know what to say to her or if I should say anything at all.

Answer 3

Well... I was sorta in a position like this a lot in middle school and in the beginning of high school; I am in college now.

My test to see whether to take 'him' back was that I sometimes just asked, 'if I take you back will you care enough about me to change your frisky behavior?' Of course I know it probably is tough being a hormonally charged guy being around your good-looking friend.

Again it really boils down to where she feels comfortable going with her relationship and if her guy is comfortable with not being as touchy. If she doesn't feel like he will respect her then don't take him back, the most important thing a girl needs is respect.

Answer 4

She should not take him back! If he can not respect her then she does not need a guy like that! I think she should just keep her distance from him for a while since he has begging her so much to go back out with him! He really won't stop he is just trying to get his way with her!

Answer 5

She's right. She should trust her instincts. He will want to keep going, touching her every place he can. Does she really want every date to be that kind of challenge? If she doesn't resume her relationship with him, he will start dating someone else. He'll have the same touching problem with the next person he dates. Question: will she be OK with knowing that or will it make her jealous? I'm asking that question because a guy who can't control himself doesn't seem to be the kind of guy it would be easy to care about. Yet you say she still cares about him. She's going to have to watch this whole grabby drama unfold with him trying the same thing on someone else.

Answer 6

First of all how can she care about someone that does not respect her feelings or wishes. What makes her think that he has changed over night. She needs to be very careful with someone like that , it sounds to me like he's the type of person that would go further than what she wanted even if she said no. She needs to move on and stay away from him and tell him to leave her alone. Good luck.

Answer 7

She should stay away from him. If he didn't listen to her telling him to stop the first time, he won't the second time either. She doesn't need to get herself into a situation where she's forced into something she doesn't want to do by a guy who can't take no for an answer. Going back to him would make him think he's got a shot, so she should stay away.

Answer 8

it depends on her age, if she's still at school and wants an education and a good future she should not go back with him, he's trying to take her life away. if she's say 20's and got no future childless plans with her life, she may be not sure of this feller will stick around after the sex thing, here she should should take precautions (don't trust him to). trusting she is not gay she should give him another chance this time with rules. if she's any older, a man giving her all this attention will soon fade and go towards another more promising relationship.

Answer 9

Don't take him back. You already has showen to be a possible abuser of some sort, just by when she told him to stop and he would still carry on. This is wrong and shows he does not respect her. The next time she says no it could be a worse outcome if she goes back.

Answer 10

I guess she can give him a second chance if she thinks he's changed. But chances are really good that he'd going to start pushing again for physical involvement. Maybe you can get your friend to make a promise to herself and to you that if he does X again, she will end it once and for all. It's not good for her to be in a situation where she's being pressured. She should find someone else