If I am having trouble trusting my boyfriend should I check up on him by checking his email etc? Or do you think what I don't know won't hurt. I have the chance to check his mail but I don't know if I should.
2007-04-11 06:48:09 · 23 answers · asked by netlee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you're having doubts about his whereabouts or what he's up to........ask him. If you feel you need to snoop to find your answers...rather than talking with him.........then go for it......
a lil advice tho.......The truth always comes out in the wash.....you may not like what you see.....but at least you'll have your truth.
COMMUNICATION TRUST AND HONESTY are the three keys to a healthy relationship* without those......YOu have Nothing*
2007-04-11 06:51:46 · answer #1 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you appreciate him doing the same? How about finding him going through your purse? It's not what you may find that is the issue here...it is the why are you looking to begin with that should be dealt with.
If you have fears about your relationship, then you need to stop right now & deal with them...with your BF! If things cannot be sorted out between you & you do not find comfort within your relationship, then it will not flourish or be positive anymore...se la vie. But now you will know, and can make wiser decisions from there...so can he.
Caution...do not bring up "Oh, I was hurt before", or other such none-sense excuses for your own behavior or issues...they were, or are, not his...however, if he chooses to support your desire to work these things out, you have a keeper...do your part & get rid of the baggage...and move onward. I hope for the best for you both....
2007-04-11 14:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by MsET 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in his place...would you want him checking up on you? Why are you having trouble trusting your b/f? Trust is imperative in any relationship and, not knowing what issues led to your current situation, trust is a cornerstone of any relationship and it has to be established by both members.
If you truly have a justified reason to even think he's doing something behind your back, my recommendation is to talk to him about it. Communication is the second cornerstone of a healthy relationship. In a non-accusatory way, tell him your feelings and ask him about his. IF (please note the caps) he's dabbling in something that makes you feel suspicious there has to be a reason...just because there's a reason doesn't mean it's YOUR fault...just that a reason exists in his mind. Address the causes of that behavior then, together, look for ways to compensate for or eliminate the causes of his perceived behavior.
Talk and trust...there's your answer.
2007-04-11 13:57:36 · answer #3 · answered by woodynbabs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't check his email. If he finds out then he won't trust you.
However, you need to question whether your not being able to trust your boyfriend is only your insecurity or if there is really something going on that is making you not trust him.
2007-04-11 13:55:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... if the lines of communications, and the trust is not there anymore, then yes, you obviously have trouble.
I would suggest NOT checking his email, but taking a more of a talking approach.
But if you must, and if you do check his email, then just prepare yourself that it may contain information that could be upsetting to you.
2007-04-11 13:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by DuSteDShaDoW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, If you start checking his e-mails, then that would be a violation of privacy. Tough one. But just remember that a successful relationship is based off of trust. Doesn't sound like you trust him very much.
2007-04-11 13:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I noticed myself doing that recently only a couple times because of a recent paranoia I had and of course I didn't find anything and I really never expect to because he is and I know this a great liar so even if I expected something I would never know anyway lol so I'm not going to do it anymore it puts me under stress and anxiety that is probably unnecessary.
To answer your question I think you should leave it alone because you are giving yourself more to worry about and you'll find out eventually if he is being unhonest anyway. Now of course you should let it happen and not block yourself from knowing the truth cause its going to hurt sooner or later anyway.
2007-04-11 13:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously have trust issues with him, but before you go snooping around you should talk to him about why you don't trust him. See what he says. Trust is an important thing in a relationship and if you can't trust him now..who knows when you'll trust him??? If you still don't know how to trust him, he'll just break it off with you for not trusting him.
2007-04-11 13:56:49 · answer #8 · answered by poetry_dreamer2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trush is one of the main things in a relationship. You guys should start sharing everything by now! even the mail. Thing's don't look good. Good luck my friend! xoxo
2007-04-11 14:01:46 · answer #9 · answered by drman1977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a relationship is built off trust, respect, faith and love. without these key ingrediants you have nothing.
if he has given you a reason not to trust him, then I would question my love towards him. Can I retrust him again and believe in him or do I need to move on.
If you can retrust, then you shouldn't pry.
2007-04-11 13:55:34 · answer #10 · answered by 2shay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋