What do you think about married people who choose not to have children?

Question

And does your religion (or lack thereof) affect the way you answer this question?

Searcher, I posted this question in the R&S section because some religious people think it's a sin for married people to not have kids.

Answer 1

My brother and sister-in-law are examples of that line of thinking. They have been married for about 6 years and they adamantly do not wish to have children. My husband and I have two children and my brother and his wife seem to be happy for us. But, they both say that they are "too selfish" to have children of their own. They have plans and are very busy people. I respect their opinion even though I don't agree with it for myself. But, I truly believe that if you do not want kids you should not have kids. Children are rewarding but they are so much work and commitment that you really should wish to have them before you do!

Answer 2

I think that is their choice. None of us know the real reasons they are not having children. I would much rather them not have children, then have children be born into a situation where they were unwanted. It is far more responsible to be married with no children then it is to be unmarried having children.

My religion doesn't affect this- this is just how I think. In my religion it is uncommon for people to marry and not have children, but that is a personal choice.

Edit**

I was married five years and had no children. That was mostly due to the fact that I had a rocky marriage and did not want children born into that situation. People always gave me a hard time about when the children were coming- it was really annoying. I got to where I would act like I did not want children so that they would stop asking. Nobody knew about the problems I was having in my marriage. That is why I say We don't ever know all the reasons people maek that decision.

Answer 3

Well, I'm an atheist, and I have to say, that choice can lead to a very positive impact for society, as far as I can see. Far too many couples seem to believe that giving birth to seven or eight kids is an ideal, but I see that as rather irresponsible, especially if the family is poor. A couple should probably aim to have only enough children to replace them in society, two or three would be best. Over population is going to be a problem, and is a problem in poor areas of the world, and starvation, wars, and economic disaster are the consequences. I really can't imagine the reasoning behind couples with access to birth control that continue to have far more children than they or the rest of society can support.

Answer 4

I believe that decision is between a couple and God. It's not for me to determine the course of the lives of other people. Still, speaking as a parent, I think people miss out on so much when they choose to not have children. Or when they can't have children and choose not to adopt. As a follower of Jesus, my spiritual life is much richer because of my experience as a parent. I can use my imagination, however, and envision people who might be better off choosing to not be parents.

Answer 5

I am fine with it. Much better to make an intelligent decision than not want them and keep giving birth to unwanted children.

I've not had children or been married because I knew I do not have the patience and would be no good at it. So why mess up someone's life?

Answer 6

That's their decision, not mine.

Usually (by those who believe it, I don't) ,that not having kids is a sin, which also means that not getting married is a sin. Paul says in I Corinthians 7:7 it is better if you never marry (which would also mean no kids). So most of these people who are preaching it, are preaching against their own Bible.

I'm a Deist. My religion says nothing about it.

Answer 7

I'm one of them so I'm all for it.

I was raised catholic but I was never into it. It was mostly a case of "well, screw it. I don't want to live that way, so I'll just sin."

I think it's far worse to be compelled to have kids you don't want - or to have them without even giving the subject a thought!

I understand that there are support groups out there for people like this whose families or friends give them a hard time. I'm not one of those - luckily we both come from prolific catholic families so the burden isn't on us.

I've never wanted kids. I don't like them. I don't like what you have to give up to have them. I can only think of about 5 reasons I'd ever want to have one - and I blogged those reasons for posterity! lol

To set off my list of reasons not to, I'm going to create a list of the only reasons I can come up with to have kids. Obviously this applies only to me; I'm not suggesting everyone should feel this way. Duh!

1. You get to name them. I like naming things.

2. To see what they look like. Resemblances fascinate me; I'm intrigued when I see or meet people who are related. I like to examine their features to see which are the same, and how the same features on different people can look so different.

3. Someone to take care of you in your old age. That's assuming they outlive you, are in good health, still speak to you, have money.....

4. To impart to them all the things you hold dear. To teach them about the things you love and value. Unfortunately, children are individuals, and while you can certainly try to do these things, there's no guarantee they'll give a crap about anything you see. They are not empty vessels that you can fill up.

5. Tax deductions.

I think that's about it. These are the only reasons I personally would want a kid.

Answer 8

I'm not sure why you posted this question in the R&S section :)

But, if a person does not feel they need to have children, that is okay. I'd rather not see anyone raise children who was not capable or interested in being a loving parent.

Answer 9

>>What do you think about married people who choose not to have children?<<

I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they have a good reason. In Catholicism, it is understood that having children is one of the reasons for marriage, but that serious reasons may exist that make that inadvisable.

Answer 10

If too many do it there won't be enough wealth to support them in their old age. The world is overpopulated, but a rapid shrinkage in the population can be just as devastating as a rapid rise.

Religion speaks of filling the earth, spreading seed to all four corners etc. That's been done - the world is overfilled and there's nowhere left to spread. The reproduction edicts can no longer apply.