Confused about bf's behaviour, give me your opinion please?

Question

My bf and i had a fight over this. He made a comment about him having whoever he wanted in a place he says is perfect for having sex. That remark made me feel very bad. I mean "whoever"? He said that i'm not the only one, i said that i should be for him, and he said he didn't like the way i think. Thing is, we have been together for 4 years, and have an exclusivity agreement. I think he's feeling the need to play the field, but he doesn't break up with me, he just says all sorts of hurtful things. But later he says stuff that he needs to find someone who DOES want to be with him. As if i don't because i point out that i don't like those comments and they make me feel bad, and that if he loves me he shouldn't say those things.
But just a few days back he acted all concerned and sad cause he said he felt i didn't love him, which i assured him i do.
What's going on here?

Answer 1

Four years? Please. This is very sad, and you should play the field, but do so decently - break all contact first. After the first week let him know that real men don't act like that. Date around but don't do anything for a bit until you figure out how you deserve to be treated.

Answer 2

sounds like he's not sure if YOU"RE the one for him. Yes, youre probably right that he may want to explore other options rather than sticking with just you.

You need to sit him down and ask him straight up if he's wanting to explore/adventure away to see if there's something better out there.......
Someone who says hurtful things to another person on purpose wouldn't be someone I'd spend a minute with let alone 4 yrs~ Perhaps you don't make him feel like you used to make him feel. When was the last time you both did something FUN together?? When was the last time you were showing him how much he means to you? and vice versa.....when was the last time he made you feel good inside..like you mattered to him other than 'sex'......when was the last time he made you laugh, or smile??
Sounds to me you both don't have alot in common anymore..and he may want to explore other options.
Talk with him openly and honestly. IF you find he's always putting you down or making you feel sad and insecure inside..then it's time YOU be the bigger person and end the relationship and move forward~ It's never easy breaking up with someone.......but if the relationship isn't going anywhere...there's no sense in sticking around and wasting each others time.
If he continues to talk about being able to have "trists" with "whoever"........then say to him......No Problem....take all the time you need and enjoy that.........but on the same token....you're not sticking around for it.
GOODLUCK*

Answer 3

ok here is the deal if he is saying those things to you then he is probably seeing other girls and you need to go get checked.. other wise he may be trying to get you to break up with him by telling you all kinds of bull crap. either way its wrong and he is playing you. secondly since you say you have been together for four years i hope he wasnt acting this way the whole time. thirdly ask him straight out are you cheating if he says no then you ask him if he means all those hurtful thinkgs he tells you about having sex with others and finding someone who wants an open relationship etc. if he says no then you say to him if he ever says that to you again then he needs to be prepared to have you walk out the door. but you have to mean it. you dont deserve to be treated that way by anyone.
and if he says yes to any of the above then id hope you have your walking shoes on and your bags packed.
good luck to you

Answer 4

you need to get things straight with your guy cause' it sounds like he might be getting tired of the relationship, if he's saying dumb comments and making u feel bad u don't deserve it, It sounds like he's keeping u only until he finds someone else. Then again I might be wrong and he can just be saying dumb things cause' something's upsetting him, talk to him and ask him if he still loves u and if he says he does then tell him it hurts u when he makes u feel dumb ask him if he's still serious about u and you're relationship. Don't be afraid to talk to him and be honest about what u feel.

Answer 5

I know exactly whats going on here!! He's cheating on you, but wants to be with you so is making sure you love him and wouldnt cheat on him. Get it? He still wants you but he wants other people too, and is making sure you wouldnt sneak around him, which is what he's doing. THAT DIRTY LYING FOOL!! I hate guys like him. You should definately break up with him. Even if he's not cheating on you, you obviously dont deserve to be treated that way from a guy who is SUPPOSED to love you. You sound too nice to have to be with a guy who is so verbally abusive and mean. Saying things like that will kill your confidence. Move on and find someone who deserves you.

HOPE YOU FIND LOVE AND HAPPINESS!!! :D

Answer 6

What's going on is that you are permitting this to happen.
You are completely responsible for how people treat you----and you're letting him treat you like dirt.
If you want to stop being a doormat, get up off the floor.
Get out of the situation, but learn from it for the next guy---set your boundaries with people, and learn to stand up for yourself with the NEXT guy.
This one is history!

Answer 7

hes playing you like a guitar, hes acting that way so youll feel sorry for him, its an act. you need to toughen it it up and not let him fool you. you need to talk to him and tell him you do love him

Answer 8

ppl sometimes use humor or picking to tell their partner what they really want to say. you need to ask him out right are you cheating.