Should I be feeling like this at 19?

Question

Recently for some odd reason I've had the biggest urge to have a baby. I think it's because I recently had a pregnancy scare not so long ago and I kind of hoped that I was. My boyfriend and I are moving in together soon and I already rent my own place. I've had so many friends recently who have had babies and love it! Is there any way of getting rid of this feeling because I feel it would not be fair on my boyfriend as he's going into the police force soon...EEEK?

Both of us are in full time job and have finished our education. Maybe this is why i'm getting the idea of settling down? I'm training as a journalist at the moment so we're both getting our careers on track... I was highly educated so I don't think this will have a bad impact on the child... I still don't know what to do?

I have babysat young relatives and even helped organise and watch 12 kids under 7 at a birthday party. Yes, it was tiring and yes, I did loose my rag with the annoying kid with the ginger hair, but I loved it. I've even been pooped on by a baby and i'm still not put off the idea. As much as I want one i'm trying to weigh it all out to put me off.

Answer 1

I feel the same way! It's so hard knowing that you should wait because it's the right thing to do for everyone involved but wanting it so bad. I asked the same kinda question a few weeks back maybe the answers I got could help you too.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ar.pryforvR.km_bLARsErDsy6IX?qid=20070330113401AAdqOuf

As far as for my own opinion... I have just been trying to really concentrate on what I want for myself and my future. As well as my boyfriend's future and what he wants. It would be really selfish to bring a child in to this world with out being fully prepared for it ya know? Plus we have to give ourselves time to experience life so that when we are older we don't say things like "I wish I would have waited." I really hope you feel better & figure out what is best for you.

Hang in there & keep thinking about all the things you want in your life before you have a baby.

Good Luck! ;-)

Answer 2

It is perfectly normal to feel that way, but you don't have to act on it. One of the best things I can think to do is to sit down and make a list of requirements that must be fulfilled before having a baby. That both makes sure you are ready, and it gives you steps to take for 'having a baby' before reaching the point of no return. A few things I would recomend having on the list;
Live together. The amount of time doesn't matter so much as the compatibility...if you get even just a 'little annoyed' at something he does, it will only get worse with time and hormones, so talk to him about it.
Budget. Sure, you can pay for yourselves. Now, figure out exactly how much a baby will cost. Read up on the typical amount of formula, diapers, wipes etc. babies use, pick your brand, and make sure you can go each month without that money. Saving this money now also is a way to put away money for large purchases such as a crib without that money suddenly bieng gone. Also make sure you can put back money for the kids college and your retirement. Another thing to think of is do you want to work or stay home? Where do you want to work? Do you want to go to college? Those all effect both your time and your finances.
Get your body ready for giving birth. The best way to have a baby is in the best health you have ever been...and I recomend spending at least six months making certain you eat and excersize right, and take vitamins, preferably prenatal. When planning ahead, you can also see a doctor before concieving, which I hear is recomended.
That brings up another, make certain you have insurance, and enough income that you will not need to be on foodstamps or WIC. I understand people using them who fall into an emergency, but do not put yourself into a situation that you KNOW will lead to your depending on these--it is so much better to stand on your own two feet.
Spend time with children of all ages, you and your husband. Volunteer at a childrens group or baby sit for friends and family. It will not be like having your own child, but the more practice, the better. Trust me, Ian is the first baby my husband has been around, and life would have been so much easier had he had practice.

Answer 3

yes it is normal to feel this way, but the urge will definitely pass. think about all of the things that you want to do and the places that you want to go and the goals that you want to accomplish and the dreams you want to achieve then add baby to this equation. not to say that you won't be able to get these things done, it will just really be that much harder because every day of motherhood is not what your friends have it all cracked up to be. they will probably never tell you how expensive raising a child let alone bringing one into the world is or will be and some of the struggles they encounter raising or having children. keep in mind, that you still have a whole lot to live for and learn for your self and by yourself that having extra baggage and luggage will only slow you down. think about these things long and hard before you jump in head first; and tell your boyfriend to "WRAP IT UP"! Before you have more than a scare. be smart not a fool!

Answer 4

First, look at the reason you want to have a baby. Then check if you are finance secure as babies cost a lot money. Also make sure your boyfriend is committed to you and you are having minimal problems because if you are having problems a baby is just going to complete life more. I also suggest waited into your boyfriend has committed to by marriage or some sort of permit partnership. A kid last a lifetime. But it all right to want to have baby just make sure you know the responsibilities and finical strain it causes. Also wait into your out of college because the education of the mother affects the child.

Answer 5

I had my first child at 22 which I think was rather young. However enjoy your friends children take them for a day or so and play with them then send them home. Finish school if your in college, and get settled in your life and career before you chose to have a child. Your bf is going into the police force {my mom was a police officer almost 20 yrs} let him complete his training and then discuss having a child. If you have a child before your settled in life its not just unfair to you, your boyfriend but also to the baby. A baby does change everything and I mean EVERYTHING! It should pass

Answer 6

Being around other's babies does that to you! Even if you've already had all the kids you want! One wiff of a baby and you want to have one too! You just have to use your head instead of your heart! You know now isn't the best timming for that so you just have to keep looking forward to when the time is right. Like after you are married and when he's stable on his job! You are very young and have plenty of time for kids later. Give you and your man some time alone to enjoy each other without anything tying you down! You will be more apt to enjoy being a Mom later, when you fully prepared and can give the child everything you want to, instead of being broke and having to skimp on everything!

Answer 7

Believe it or not, your body is still going through hormone changes and they are probably the cause of this urge to have a baby. Wait at least until your boyfriend has settled into his job and you are married, if you still want a child then, you can consider it. Nineteen is pretty young no matter how settled you are. Have you talked this over with your boyfriend? It absolutely has to be a decision you make together.

Answer 8

I had a baby at 20, rented a house with my boyfriend of 4 years, we split up last December (baby was 10 months old). Now I am a single mom living with my parents. I'm not saying that you "are too young" or whatever, but try to live with your boyfriend for a while before you decide to get knocked up. A baby is the most stressful thing that could happen (not saying they aren't wonderful), but please please make sure you agree on how to raise children and stuff like that. I should have known about my daughter's father's violent tendencies when we got a puppy about 3 years ago. maybe you could try that, and then when you decide to get married, the baby will be welcomed by everyone. at 19, i doubt your mom would be very happy about it (mine wasn't) and of course she will change her mind, but it would have been so much more fun for me to wait and wrap up an ultrasound picture and have everyone be happy for me. please finish school, or go to college if you haven't because I don't know what I would do now as a single mom without my degree. Good luck with whatever decision you make, but my advice would to let your boyfriend know your feelings BEFORE you get pregnant

Answer 9

It is normal to feel this way, especially after a "loss". You thought you might have been pregnant and when you found out you weren't, you experienced a loss. Really this is not a decision to be made lightly. Every child deserves to have a mother and father that love one another dearly and will love the child. You and your bf are moving in together which shows a level of commitment, but really, the best situation (in my opinion) is to get married first. Once you have made that commitment to one another, you can make the commitment to raise a child together.

Answer 10

At 19, you are very young to have a baby. Wait for a while and the urge will pass naturally. IMO, you should make something of your life before you plan to have that lil bundle of joy.