My husband and I had our first and only child when we were 24 We did not want any more kids. so I had my tubes tied a year later. Now it has been 13 years and we just found out I was pregnant. He is insistant on not having the baby, even though I don't want any more kids and I am at a place in my life where I can't imagine one. I also cannot imagine not having it. I don't think I could live having an abortion. However, he is very adament that he DOES NOT want another baby PERIOD! What should I do?
2007-04-11 04:04:29 · 21 answers · asked by Jeannie N 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Just wanted to add that I was adopted when I was 5months old and have the most wonderful adoptive parents in the world. I am all for adoption. HOWEVER, I could not give up a baby I carried. I am stable enough to have it. Even though I did not plan this I will love the baby, I am just not so sure my husband has it in him. What if it destroys our marriage and hurts our soon-to-be 13 year old daughter who by the way loves being the only child. I do believe in God and appreiciate all your answers and prayers. You all have helped me so much.
2007-04-11 05:01:09 · update #1
Honestly, it seems as thought you know your choice but aren't ready to acknowledge it. DO NOT have an abortion that you know you'll regret forever. It's sad to see that its the lesser of two evils: abortion or possibly losing your husband.
Explain to him how deeply it would scar you to abort a baby, and that you simply can't do it. If he leaves you over it, then so be it, that's a choice HE is making. YOu cannot blame yourself for him doing such a thing. Stand tall and stay true to what you believe in. He may come aroudn when he meets his son/daughter, he may not. But atleast you'll know you did what YOU had to do.
2007-04-11 05:52:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is totally your decision. Try to speak with your husband about both abortion and keeping the child. Do not put the child up for adoption. As you well know there are already plenty of children such as yourself that are in need of a loving parent to adopt them. Don't add to the list.
There is nothing wrong or imoral about abortion. God himself uses abortion every day in the form of miscarriage. Pray about your choice and even if you believe that abortion is right, ask God to bless your decision. Then tell the pro life nuts where to go. And if God says don't abort then don't.
2007-04-11 16:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by Give me Liberty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adoption. I have a 4 year old sister and Im 21. She is so spoiled and I love her with all of my heart. Im so glad she was given a chance at life. She is so smart and funny and I think the world would have missed out on a very special person if she hadnt been born. God dosent give people babies to abort. Children are special and Its not that the babys fault that your husband dosent want it. It didnt ask for this.
2007-04-11 04:30:05 · answer #3 · answered by Mom to Isobelle 2, & Gavyn 8mths 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think both adoption and abortions are a good choice for you. I think love takes time to develop, your husband might just grow to love the baby. I mean it's not like you're teenage mother who can't support or you're not in a stable relationship.
Beside, just look at the bright side, every parents will probably experience empy nest syndrom, but you and your husband probably won't. He'll learn to appreciate this.
2007-04-11 04:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by 結縁 Heemei 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have the baby, if you don't feel comfortable aborting it is for a reason. Children are a blessing from God and an abortion is murder and should never be done. If your husband truly loves you he will support your decision and he will come to love the baby. A lot of people don't want to have a child but when they actually have the baby you get totally attached. Follow your heart.
2007-04-11 04:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by sylviawhit 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you think you can carry the baby then give the baby up for adoption you should do that. Look around at all the stupid people having babies with no regard for the child's welfare. You question whether or not you should have a baby. That shows intelligence far exceeding most people having babies today. So, it will be a smarter baby. We need more of them in the world.
2007-04-11 04:14:28 · answer #6 · answered by eldude 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Do what you feel is the right thing for you. You have to live with whatever you decide to do. Your husband will have to accept your decision & live with it. If he was so against having another child, he should have had a vasectomy when you had your tubes tied. Tell him this!!!! This child was meant to be for a reason & that should help you to decide what to do.
2007-04-11 04:32:39 · answer #7 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try adoption if you feel that strongly about not wanting another child. If you have had your tubes tied and still got pregnant, clearly God had a plan for you and your baby, otherwise he wouldnt have blessed you with another. You need to sit down and think real hard about the decision you are about to make. I understand it might be hard to raise another baby after so long, but consider adoption if that is how you feel. There are so many couples that would love to have a baby and cant concieve, give them a chance. Good luck to you!! :)
2007-04-11 04:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn C 3 · 6⤊ 3⤋
well if you werent married i would suggest you apprechiate his decision and abort the baby as he would have to pay child maintenance but as your established in marrige, you had your tubes tied giving whole commitment to not having another, i think it has just happened, i think if this baby has been concieved beyond all odds it is meant to be. As you are married i think you have the right to have this baby regardless of what he says, he cant say you tricked him , it was a genuine accident that not even you could have forseen so keep it!
if he loves you he will come round and well before the baby is born too! i guess opinions would vary on this one tho thats just my personal opinion, i would usually reccomend taking note of the father to be but it is a bit different as you are married and have been for so long. Do what you want to do and good luck..... your fella will come round in time............ so many ppl thing have it adopted out just cos one parent dont want it..... keep your baby honey, love it and this will be a distant memory soon! dont give your baby up, sum ppl think its so ewasy to give up a baby but id like to see them give away their flesh and blood!!!!
2007-04-11 04:11:41 · answer #9 · answered by Angie 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sigh...you both made the choice years ago to stop having children, therefore something has to be done.Adoption or abortion, it`s your choice.I can`t imagine coming in this world unwanted, not to mention by a married couple.
2007-04-11 04:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by lost2day 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋