It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.
************
*Sick Days*
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
************
*Personal Days*
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
************
*Toilet Use*
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.
At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.
After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category".
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy!
You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.
************
*Lunch Break*
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.
************
*Mails*
Don't read junk and forwarded mails.
************
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
All questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations,consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management.
2007-04-11 03:49:05 · 8 answers · asked by tinta 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
LOL! 1000/1000
2007-04-11 03:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do they have an employee hand book stating how they determine vacation or holiday pay. It should be clearly laid out, it sounds as if you may have a supervisor who is not obeying the company policy, before you go looking at the law start with the company policy. That will be the easier way to fight it.
2016-05-17 09:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is great i love it 700/10
2007-04-11 04:19:37 · answer #3 · answered by Jazz Lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is funny...i wonder if there are companies out there that are really like that? lol
2007-04-12 08:49:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. That's about right! LOL.
Good One!
2007-04-11 06:29:14 · answer #5 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice one! i LOVE reading this type of stuff!
2007-04-11 11:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by AmiLeemotherof three 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is so funny i like
2007-04-11 04:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by Chocolit B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hilarious :)
2007-04-11 04:37:46 · answer #8 · answered by Luv Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋