we have been together 4 a year and a half, and have a 3 month old daughter. they are my world. i love him, but he's very critical of me and we fight bad sometimes. he wants nothing more than to get married, but i am worried about his motives. right now as an unwed mother i have full custodial rights, and if something were to happen, i take her with me. if we get married, things get nasty in matters of custody. she is my only child and i love her more than life it's self. i couldn't live without her. then again, i love him and want to make him happy and let him know i want to spend the rest of my life with him...
2007-04-11 03:16:37 · 10 answers · asked by cassie w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
please no insulting awnsers.
2007-04-11 03:17:47 · update #1
get married or move on
2007-04-11 03:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, is there something else going on that you didn't mention? If you love this man and all he wants to do is marry you....."whats the problem?" Your child is as much his and yours and whether your married or not if you split up he still has rights as her father so I am having a hard time seeing why something like that would be holding you back from marrying. In fact, if he really loves you and wants to marry you and your holding back he is probally feeling very insecure which I would think is one of the biggest problems of your fights you mentioned. I think you two really need to figure out what your long term goals are and if you want those goals with each other. If you do then quit stalling and "get married" because a happy couple equals a happy family.
2007-04-11 10:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by lookingwesttexas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are going to have problems whether you are married or not. My husband can be real critical sometimes too. I just tell him, you need to quit nagging. Stop and think about how you have been treating me lately. I understand you are stressed but you are taking it out on me. My point is here, you need to talk to him about how you feel he is treating you. But also, you dont need to get married right now if you arent sure it wont end in divorce. Tell him that. Tell him that right now, as much as you love him, you dont know for sure that one or both of you wont become unhappy with the other in the future. And if he asks why, tell him because he seems so unhappy with you right now. Your daughter will go with you if you leave, whether you married or not. The mother generally gets custody unless she has serious issues. The dad can fight it, but its hard.
2007-04-11 12:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk, talk and talk to him frankly, in detail and truthfully. But don't make him feel that you don't trust him. Adopt soft approach. I dont know why you doubt his motive behind his desire for marriage. There may be certain reason.
But you love him, he loves you, you want to live the rest of your life with him. He wants to get married means he also wants to live his life you. So why are you worrying? I sense some lack of trust between the two of you. But this mistrust can be cleared by talking, and talking frankly. You tell him about your concerns that he always criticises you, that he fights with you. Tell about your custodial concerns as well frankly. I think, he will understand you and he will change himself if he wants to get married with you and most importantly if he loves you. If he does not understand, then there is no much problem as you already have a person, your daughter, whom you love more than anything and anyone else and with her you can live happily.
2007-04-11 10:30:40 · answer #4 · answered by afdasvfaCcsvf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get married and then get divorced, you will get primary custody of her either way, he would just have visitation rights. That is unless you do drugs or something that would make the court lean more towards him. If you love him and you TRUST him, then marry him. Marriage is supposed to be forever right? Don't worry about getting divorced when you are not even married yet. Stay in today honey. It will be okay.
2007-04-11 10:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by Darcie Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be, but you just told us a story and never asked a question. What do you want to know? If you should marry him, why not? Is he going to take your child? No, unless you are a bad mother and he can prove it. Anyways good luck. It's life and it is what you make.
2007-04-11 10:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by just trying to get some in ohio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a child with a man you don't know if you want to marry or not? Yeah, that was an intelligent decision...NOT.
Grow up, quit being selfish and give your child a father.
2007-04-11 10:19:48 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand your point of view being a mother myself your child is your heart & sole give it to him straight either you start to work out your problems or no chance of marriage. if he love you enough im sure he will be able to be less critical good luck :)
2007-04-11 10:31:43 · answer #8 · answered by nick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIGHT HOW? IF THINGS ARE ALREADY BAD WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU GO AND GET MARRIED????? NOW THAT'S STUPID. GET YOUR MIND RIGHT GIRL. IF YOU ARGUE BEFORE MARRIAGE YOU'LL ARGUE THROUGH MARRIAGE AND YOU'LL ARGUE THROUGH DIVORCE TOO. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING BEFORE YOU JUST JUMP IN SOMETHING TO MAKE SOME MAN HAPPY. BEING WITH SOMEONE FOR A YEAR ISN'T LONG ENOUGH FOR MARRIAGE. (THAT'S MY OPINION)
2007-04-11 10:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by CARAMEL_CUTIE_79 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant trust him enough to get married if you're worried that may happen
2007-04-11 10:19:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋