My Girlfriend for 2.5 years I found out 6 months ago she has been going out with her ex-boyfriend?

Question

I have been dating My Girlfriend for 2.5 years I found out 6 months ago she has been going out with her ex-boyfriend 3 different occasions, Behind my back, To the Movies, Concerts, and to listen to Music. 3 occasions I am certain about there could be more.

She says that she is only friends with her ex-boyfriend; And is only in love with me, And wants to be with me.

I have taken her on several Vacations and Cruises, And done several major home improvement projects on her home over the past 2.5 years

My Question

Is this normal behavior for her to still see her ex-boyfriend?

And should this behavior be tolerated? Please Give Me Your Opinion and Advice. Thank You.

Answer 1

No this is not normal behavior IF you are in a relationship and you love each other (she loves you too).
She is cheating on you and that is not normal.
If she loves you and wants to be with you then that is where she should be and not going out with her ex.
I would not tolerate someone cheating on me period.
I would dump her...she has broken your trust and that can hardly ever be repaired. If she told you she would not see him again, would you "really" believe her.
I think you should say goodbye to her and move on ... find someone who wants to be with you and only you. Unless, that is, you are alright with her seeing other guys. Oh yeah, and have you thought about the possibility of them sleeping together and her bringing home a disease to you? There are no cures for lots of them these days and they kill you.
I would definitely end the relationship. But...this has to be your decision...I just answered your question on what I think...it is just my opinion. Do what is best for you, your heart and your life.

be cool...

Answer 2

Bottom line here: he's obviously not over his ex, which means he is not ready for the kind of marriage commitment you are looking for. Personally, I think he made a very good choice by saying no to marrying his ex. If the only reason his ex girl was marrying the other guy is because Mark wouldn't marry her, that's a really poor way to start a marriage, or any relationship. I think what would be best for you would be to get 12 sessions of marriage counseling before you seriously consider committing to each other. A third party can mediate between you and talk about what marriage means to you both, what you would expect out of each other if you did get married, how you expect to share your life and handle the issues that life will inevitably throw at you, Look at this incident as a communication test, and a test to resolving conflicts, because when you marry this will not be the worst of what you will have to face.

Answer 3

While it is normal for people to remain friends, the fact that she is trying to hide it from you is a problem. It sounds like she is trying to decide whether she made a mistake or not in breaking up with the ex. Sounds like you need to make her make a decision.

Let her know that if she really didn't have bad intentions, she should have given you the courtesy of letting you know they were going to do something and even offerred you the chance to tag along. If she gets offended by the idea of the three of you going, she was definitely trying to hide the relationship.

Do not tolerate that kind of behavior. It will lead to your sadness - better to find out now and be hurt than find out later and be hurt even more!

Answer 4

It is fine to be friends with ex boyfriends and to see them every now and then, especially if everything ended on good terms and there is nothing between them anymore. However I would be concerned that she kept this from you and it would make me very upset so I can understand why you are questioning it.

I would personally tell your gf that you are hurt she didn't tell you and that it has made you concerned about the nature of their relationship. If you demand she don;t see him you will only anger her so I would just approach it in more of a you have hurt me fashion.

Ultimately she needs to make you feel a bit more secure again and learn to not keep things from you. If she genuinely loves you she will respond well to you telling her what you need from the relationship for you to tolerate her still knowing her ex.

Good luck with it.

Answer 5

Dump her ***!! The fact that she has seen her ex is not a big deal, the fact that she hid it from you IS. If she had told you up front about it, then it was a "just as friends" sort of thing, the fact that she was hiding it means it was a "friends with benefits" sort of thing. She has probably been cheating on you.

Don't listen to her lies, she may say she loves only you, but a woman like her is no good man, she hid the fact that she was seeing him on the side and now she's backpeddaling. Break up with her, I assure you she will be back with her ex in less than a month.

Answer 6

This is a tough one... I can see ex's getting along afterwards... as long as it ended on a "okay" type of note... I talk to a couple of my ex's from time to time.. But I sure the hell don’t hide it. And it’s only to talk we have all moved on. Personally I think its class to put your pride aside and not knock down your ex's (unless it’s something awful even then it just isn’t talked about period). Look at Cher she has never knocked down an ex-husband in the public eye. People are different and just weren’t meant to be.

Hiding it is the big issue... That is very troubling especially since it’s been going on for 6 months. That’s a huge stab in the back. Going to movies, concerts and so on... That is a huge red flag.

There probably isn’t anything sexually going on. But there is something only because it’s been hidden for so long.

Before breaking up with her do the best you can at talking it out first, that way you did you’re best to try and work it out without feeling guilty. Plus it gives her something to think about.

You need to hear from her why she didn’t tell you about this. And really fully talk it out. Just be sure your temper and attitude is calm, otherwise both of you will become defensive especially her!!!! Even thou she screwed up.

Nor to stand for it anymore. You do need to put your foot down and tell her flat out she is not to see him again and the reasons why. Trust has been lost. To put an ex (any person really) before you’re live in other half is incredibly stupid. She is crazy to throw something like this away.. Two years is a lot of investment time to chuck it.

Answer 7

It could be true that they are only friends, BUT once you are in a COMMITED relationship with another person, she have to let go....If she is still friends with the ex, then if there is ever a time that they want to get together, she should include YOU, her new partner that way there is no mistaking it for something else.

Also if you dont feel comfortable afterwards, then its time to let HER go

Answer 8

No. If she's with you, she doesn't need to be doing anything one-on-one with him without your knowing. It's one thing if he asks her to lunch to give her back some of her old stuff and she tells you about it, but it's another if she's going to dark movie theatres and concerts with him, just him and her. Maybe these outings were group outings and she didn't know he'd be there until she got there. But I'm with you, you've got every right to be upset with her. Seriously consider ending the relationship. If she was that into you, she wouldn't give you a reason to doubt her.

Answer 9

Yes it is very normal to go out on dates with your ex boyfriend. It happens all the time and it is usually referred to as cheating, when the person is in another relationship. She is having her cake and eating it too. She gets her ex for fun dating activities (with night time activities back at his place I'm sure) and she gets you for all the relationship activities. Good luck.

Answer 10

I guess it depends on how long ago they were together. I'm still good friends with one of my ex's. We do things together. We haven't dated in over 5. My current b/f doesn't have a problem, but I do let him know when my ex and I are goin to do something.