IS THIS AN abusive relationship?

Question

he slapped me once becuase we had a little argument and he walked off outside cinema and becuase i didnt go looking for him he slapped me
hes also kicked me a few times in one day on the bus because i didnt see him that day and he wa sinsecure thought i was with my ex..when i wasnt so he kicked me in front of people in the bus not obviosuly but obvious enuff
he also slapped me again just few weeks ago cos i was talking to a man and he didnt like it....he was angry already cos i cuaght him talkin to girls....he said to me he didnt want me talkin to men and he said he wouldnt himself but he did and in fact was cheating with her as well....
i know i know this sounds dumb but i need to hear it anyway as im missin him i dumped him last week since i found out he was cheating he wants me back says he will change..i know he wont i dnt trust him he lies alot too

Answer 1

Yes. It is. He keeps hitting and kicking you, and it's being done out of anger. His reaction of jealousy is also because of the guilt he feels for betraying you. STAY AWAY FROM THIS LOSER!! - YOU DO DESERVE BETTER!

It will only get worse.

Answer 2

Let's review:

"he slapped me..."

"he kicked me...."

"he kicked me..."

"because I didn't go looking for him..."

"because he didn't like it..."

When it comes to hitting/slapping/kicking, etc., unless it's in self-defense (by that I mean you backed him into a corner swinging a baseball bat and he couldn't get away), hitting is NEVER the right answer to a disagreement. N-e-v-e-r. Not ever.

Question is, do you like the way he treats you, including the hitting, and want more of it? If you take him back, you will get more of what you had, which includes:

> slapping
> kicking
> lying
> cheating

Whee, what a fun relationship. Gee, where do I sign up?

If you take him back, expect the violence to escalate. How do you evaluate what he'd do if you took him back? You don't look at what he SAYS, you look at what he DOES (see above). If you like what he has been doing (see above), then take him back, because he will give you more of it. Better make sure your health insurance is paid up and you've made out a will and paid up your life insurance first, though, BECAUSE THERE IS A VERY GOOD CHANCE HE WILL KILL YOU. Deliberately, or accidentally. He might feel very sorry after, but what good will that do you?

Btw, it's possible to miss someone who's all wrong for you very much. The human nervous system gets used to regular input, bad or good, and adapts. When that input is gone, your nervous system notices the lack of the expected input (adrenalin from fear/anger/pain, for example) and wonders where it went. Doesn't mean it's good for you, just means you've gotten used to it and notice when it's gone, which isn't the same thing as missing someone who was wonderful to you.

Not the same thing at all.

Answer 3

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!! GET AWAY FROM THAT B*TCH OF A GUY! First of all...he cheated on you?? Yet HE has room to tell you not to merely *talk* to guys? What the hell? I've noticed something...the people that tend to be the most possessive of their partners and the most paranoid that the partner is cheating, are generally the people that are doing the cheating themselves.

The kicking and slapping thing is pathetic. He obviously is treating you like a small child, slapping you just as a parent would slap a child for misbehaving. Do you slap him?...probably not. What he is doing isn't severe enough to constitute physical abuse, but it's definitely emotionally abusive, considering how humiliating and degrading it is to be slapped so frequently.

You can do so much better than him! I suggest that you leave him. He is being mentally and emotionally abusive. The slapping and kicking isn't enough to fully constitute physical abuse, but it is getting there. I wouldn't be surprised if he amplified the amount of slaps/physical humiliation in the upcoming future. He sounds like a real tyrant. Leave him.

Answer 4

Don't walk.....run from this man and keep running. How do you wind up missing a man who slaps and kicks you, lies to you, and cheats? Does this sound like a normal healthy relationship to you?

Answer 5

If you still are missing him, you need to go for counseling. You need to deal with why you think so little of yourself that you'd be willing to be with someone who would hit and hurt you both in private and in public.

If you're tempted to go back to him, please remember that if you do, he will NOT stop; he'll escalate and many of these abusers like him end up killing their women. It's a small step from hitting you to killing you.

If he "changes", it'll only be for a brief "honeymoon period" and then he'll abuse you worse than he already has to punish you for making him treat you nicely.

He lies. He cheats on you. He's proven he's untrustworthy.
I think you deserve better.
If you go back to him, it proves you don't think you deserve better and you need help.

Answer 6

Dont go back to this guy. I know its hard to let go someone you love and this is the weakness of woman. Try to occupied yourself with activities and friends. Think of the bad things he did and never try to recall all the good moments. You deserve a better person. All the Best!

Answer 7

Yes its abusive. People don't hit each other for those types of reasons. Hes got major problems that you cannot change and often therapy cant change him either. Hes a cheater too. Run don't walk away from this one.

Answer 8

Congratulations on getting rid of this creep! Yes, he is abusive, and a liar and has anger management issues - you are well rid of him. He won't change - they never do, unfortunately. Get yourself busy with some good friends and treat yourself gently - you deserve better. Good luck.

Answer 9

you did the right thing by dumping him.don't take him back unless you like getting beat up he will never change it will only get worst I'm sure your a good person and you can get someone better.with out trust there is nothing.

Answer 10

Oh my GOD!!! i didn't have to read the whole story!!!! if he slapped u once u should've been outa there!!! y would u stay wit him just to let him slap u again. Personally i think that is DUMB!!!