Met a guy around 3 years ago, we were like best friends as well as lovers. He 28, me 23. He wasn’t too sure about having any commitments at that stage in his life. He messed me about in the process with broken promises due to his inability to commit. He said he wasn’t in the frame of mind for a relationship with any1 right now as he is isn’t sure about having commitments as he wants to focus on his career, other activites & just wants some space from relationships. So I gave him 1 last chance to tell me exactly what he wants as I have an opportunity to start seeing some1 else? And he still said that we should be friends as I deserve the best & he cant give that to me right now. If he were to be with someone it would be me but he isn’t looking for a relationship at the moment, so I told him that there was no going back after this.
He still tried to be friends by callin me every week or so to see how I was.Obviously just so that he could still have a chance when he is ready “!
2007-04-10 23:15:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
“I don’t think so”! So I told him that I would prefer if we jus went our separate ways as I needed to move on.
Now 3 years later we have started talking again, he 32, me 26 I am doing even better than b4 I have also just brought a house& he is wanting something serious. I understand that he didn’t want a relationship then & that he wasn’t ready, but still cant get over the fact that he couldn’t have felt that much 4 me to let me go, with someone else knowing that I could be sleepin with them & even just taking the risk of loosing me all together.
Back then that was what made me find the strength to move on, as if he really felt for me he wouldn’t have had to even choose between myself and being single??
So wouldn’t I be very foolish to take him back?
I have absolutly nothing against him and dont mind being friends but nothing more as he had his chance many chances!
2007-04-10 23:16:39 · update #1
you're the only one that can truly answer this question, and it sounds as though you already have. although you're torn still, but you don't really sound like you want to do all that again. you are both older now, but most of the time if it didn't work to start with, it's still not going to work out. you know this answer!!! go with what you really know!
take care!!!
2007-04-10 23:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well lady,u should just do what u've been doing for the past few years, without him. I believe u could certainly get a man who is more decisive abt his decisions. As for ur friend, just carry on on being friends. Try not to give him any leeway for having u back as more than what a friend should. U might just be in troubles and feel miserable on the later part. Ignore him if he's getting very irritating..Who knows, what if he could have u now, only to say that he's isn't ready again after a few months....So, be wise!
2007-04-10 23:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by Jules 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you believe him? that would be the question is he really serious now? give him some credit 3 years ago he was being honest he wasn't ready and he didn't lead you on and he didn't interfere with you doing what ever you want so I don't see where the problem is other then knowing (not guessing, or think, or maybe's) for sure that he is serious now.
2007-04-10 23:26:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 years is a long time. I just started talking to someone from 6 years ago...and I am not sure how to go about it either. I say some people always think about that second chance, and never get it....
2007-04-10 23:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, he had his chances. And I think you are right when you say you have nothing against him but the past was the past. Yes I think you would be a fool if after all that has happened you would fall for his same old tricks. Stay just friends.
2007-04-10 23:24:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a desperate 60 year old lady, that's scared you won't get another chance at a Successful, loving relationship. My philosophy is...... Don't go back to a relationship 'cuz it won't be long before you will find yourself in the same boat, hearing the same excuses.
2007-04-10 23:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by bigdawg197 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one, you are going to listen to your heart on that-you are the only one who can answere your question but I dont think your foolish or an idiot at all--you obviously have a good heart and at least he was honest with you. Guys get confused just like we do---talk to him and follow your heart
2007-04-10 23:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say foolish nor big idiot. Just don't take him back. Obviously, he hasn't changed at all in 3 years and he never will. You're still young, why don't you find someone else ?
2007-04-10 23:27:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No harm in being friends. At least he was honest about not being ready to settle down. He could have just lied and cheated on you.
2007-04-10 23:24:22 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like too much of the wrong details
if you were in love with him -hindsight says you wasted years of your life-as he said he wasnt interested in commitment
now he is-so its a prayer and a choice to follow -the prayer that worked for me "Jesus help me in my decisions to be in your understanding, forgive my sins of the pas when I followed wrong directions, and all other sins too, help me and be my friend, amen."
He said he would do this in Revelation 3verses 19&20 "I love you and knock on your heart door to come in, give directions, and forgive sins, when you ask me in to do this."
if you both have done this prayer then you will have a center to your relationship-and if you desire to be romantic in bed Hebrews 13 only after marriage is the key-regardless of the past.
2007-04-10 23:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋