my mum is dying how shall i prepare myself?

Answer 1

You can never be prepared for the pain this will bring. All i can say is whatever you are expecting to feel like - you will feel a whole lot worse. Book a few days off if you work, and make sure you are able to have some time by yourself as you need it. As they say, time does heal, but it will be tough. Sorry to hear your news. Best wishes.x

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is dying but one way to prepare yourself is to give yourself permission to say good-bye, let her know how much you love her and how much she has meant to you as a mom and as a woman.

Also, pls share your feelings with others in your family that you love so that you don't keep these feelings to yourself.

And above all else (and you can do this by yourself) don't be afraid to cry. It is helpful to the healing process.

You can also prepare yourself by spending time with her just by holding her hand and stroking it, something like that.

If there is a hospice service involved (I'm guessing you are in the UK) ask about counseling services to help you now as well when it comes to preparation, and also for grief counseling that you will need afterward.

I empathize with you hun because my maternal grandmother died at the age of 91.. That was 6 1/2 years ago.

Pls feel free to IM or e-mail me directly any time if you would like to talk about this some more.

Answer 3

I dont think you can ever prepare yourself for your parents passing however you should cherish the last moments you have with her and make sure you tell her all the things you want to if she is able to help with her funeral arrangements (i know not nice to discuss) then ask her what she would like to happen and what music wordings etc she would like (i did this with my late father) and it is good for you as then you know you are fulfilling your mums last wishes the one thing i know that your mum will want for you is to remember the good times and to have a happy and full life yourself.

Hope you are OK and remember your mum will be watching over you wherever you may go.

Answer 4

There is nothing to prepare for, as losing a parent is devastating whether you are "prepared" or not.
Just spend as much quality time as you can with your mum, and if she is able, take her for drives, and a couple of hours out. Talk about the good old days, and make sure you tell her everything you have always wanted to, but never found the time.
My dad died last year and i only had 3 months notice, but i treasure every single second i spent with him before he died.
You just gotta keep it together when you are with her and lose it as much as you like when you arent.
I feel for you, and hope you will find strength and comfort in the fact that your mum knows you love her, and always will.

Answer 5

Love her. If she is still coherant, ask her every question you ever wanted to ask her. Record her laughter if she is still able to laugh. Spend time with her, all the time you can. The small stuff will not matter after she is gone.

Above all, don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. It will confuse you and it won't help. I recently experienced a terrible loss. I am still working through it, and it is amazing how differently each family deals grief. Don't be too hard on yourself, and do what you feel is best. Even if someone tells you that what you are doing is strange.

My sympathies.....

Answer 6

I'm very sorry to hear about that :(

Maybe you should make sure there's nothing you'll regret to finish before she passes away, make sure she's happy with what you've achieved in your life.

Good friends shall be able to talk to you about anything personal, if these aren't available you may have any family members you could talk with.

Always remember that death is a natural part of life, there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Once again, I'm very sorry about your mother and I hope you will get through this period alright.

Answer 7

Oh my dear cat, there really never is a way to fully prepare for it and even though being a christian I could tell you that death is part of the circle of life; losing a loved one cannot ever be something that you can come to terms with in the beginning. You might not believe me right now, but it will become easier with time. The only advice I can give you at this difficult time, my dear, is to spend as much time as possible with her. Let her know how much you love her and tell her how thankful you are for having been able to have had the time with her that was granted to you and her thus far. Tell her that you know and understand that it is time to go for her and to not be afraid. Assure her that you and the rest of the family will be OK and that you'll all see one another again once your time has come. Thank her for all she has done for you and that you will never forget the little things she has done or said throughout your life. Sweetheart, by trying to make the transition as easy as possible for her, it might just help you cope with the situation a little better. I know that this is going to be a very sad time for you but try and find solace that you are being granted something that many, many people never had a chance to do. You are able to say good bye. For that alone, you have to be thankful for. So many people never have or had a chance to do that. Take time to grieve. Allow yourself to cry but by all means, try to keep it from her while she is still here. Do you have a support system? Is there family around that you can share your feelings with? If you ever find yourself in despair and feel as if you can't deal, please don't hesitate to come find my here on Yahoo!Answers. Don't be afraid to reach out and please Hon, don't clam up and think you are alone. If Mom has been sick and in pain for a while, try finding comfort in the fact that her pain is about to come to an end. Death is almost always sad for us, the surviving, but never for the dying. Everybody deals differently with the loss of a loved on. Some need and want to talk about it, while others rather deal with it on their own. Again, all I can offer you is to pour your heart out to someone close or, if that is not a possibility, come talk to me. I am so sorry you have to face this but try as much as possible to remain strong. You are not alone! I promise, I will always be here for you. I am very ill myself and I have a 15 yr. old son that I am raising on my own. We have spoken about the possibilty of death and for the past 5 years, I have always been completely honest with my son and told him that when my time comes to not be sad. It will be a blessing for me once I don't have to fight any longer and don't have to endure this excrutiating pain. I find strength in Christ and pray that you can do the same. Be strong, dear! You can do it and I believe in you. By cooming on this site and asking for help you are showing a tremendous amount of strength. MsB.

Answer 8

sweetheart, i lost my mum in a car accident which i also was in. I was so badly injured i never saw her again, she died almost instantly. The truth is you're already prepared. you have got a chance to be with her and do the things you've always longed to do together, you also have time to say goodbye. When the time comes then you will know that your mother loves you more than anything, when like me i wasnt so sure.

Answer 9

I am sorry for your impending loss, but to be truthful, there is absolutely no way you can prepare yourself for it. Losing someone is extremely traumatic and difficult to go through. I myself have suffered through it (I was 11 when my best friend died in my arms), and I'm currently helping a very dear friend cope with the loss of her father (Who died on the 9th).


All I suggest is spend as much time as possible with the person and make every second count.

Answer 10

a terrible time Cat my sympathy to you and there is no real way you can prepare yourself for the final day you have to be strong but if as nature prepares by emotion release by crying then do just that and cry all you want to it does help and then time takes over and you can come to terms with it and talk about it with the family