why is he avoiding me? repost?

Question

i've been really upset about this since it happened and i don't know how to take it..


i spent this past weekend w/my bf of 2.5 years which is what we always do every other weekend when i don't have my kids (3 girls that i have part-time). i was on my cycle so sex was out of the question so he asked for oral. while doing so-he got kind of out of hand and was choking me-when it was over i got really upset and took a shower for 45 mins (which is not normal for me). he finally came to check on me and found me crying-when he asked what was wrong-i asked y that had happened (we've never done that in the whole 2.5 years we've been together). i told him it upset me b/c the only other guy that ever treated me like that just wanted me for sex and left me after 8 months. he got upset saying he didnt mean it like that.

that was on friday-i stayed at his house till sat then we both went to work (nites). i haven't heard from him since sunday nite. should i be worried?

i know that he did NOT mean to hurt me-he wasn't even aware that he was choking me until afterwards when i sayed something when he came to check on me. he got really upset when i told him that the last guy used to treat me that way. he said we didnt have to do it anymore. but y do it all of a sudden after 2.5 years of dating?!! he doesn't watch porn and didnt start having sex till he was 23 (he's now 28).

and y not email me back when i write to him. am i over-reacting?!! i'm a girl so i tend to do that alot

we both have this coming wed-sat off and he usually will call me on wed nite (his first nite off)

but i'm worried that he's mad at me for getting upset about the whole thing.

we work nite shift sun-tues (he works on commercial airplanes and i work in a hospital) so sometimes he can't write back-other times it's b/c his macho buddies tease him about emailing me from work

Answer 1

yeah you should be worried if he hasn't contacted you since sunday. give him a call and see what's going on.

Answer 2

I'd say your over reacting. Sunday was only three days ago...it's not that long, unless you guys talk everyday or something.

In general, guys don't like to hear about what the other guy(s) did to you. They don't want to be reminded that some other guy had you first.

And guys sure hate the illogical attachment thing too. Guy choked you=guy left, and to you that is now a fact. To see it from the guys side, what if he said 'Oh I bought my last gf flowers and she dumped me 8 months later, so I don't buy flowers for girls anymore'. Does that make sense to you?

Why did he suddenly want it after years. Well, bet it was not all that sudden. It's the kind of thing a guy keeps hidden until the time is right. After all, women are not honest enough to accept things like that.

Though he could have just found out about it too. For a guy pal, or even a book or movie.

Answer 3

i wouldn't worry too much, he may be just giving you some space...as far as why he did it...might have just been an impulse and like you said...he didn't realize he was doing it...if u've been with him for 2 1/2 years...i don't think he's just using u for sex...may have over reacted a little, but i agree...call him and see whats up...let him know that you know that he didn't mean anything...just explain that u didn't like it and made u feel uncomfortable...leave it at that...don't harp on it...sounds like he'll be understanding...good luck....

Answer 4

i dont think so he is probaly feeling bad about what happened and is trying to figure out how to say im sorry.