i have been dating john for about a week now. ive never in my life fallen in love so quickly with someone. i think this is truely love at first sight. he is 4 years older then me. he feels the same about me too. john didnt know about this until today, when his ex girlfriend of 6 years came over and tells him that she is 1 month pregnant. he tells me how much he really does not want to be with her. how he dosnt like her or love her anymore. he says that he likes me alot more and would much rather stay with me. but he broke up with me tonight because he says he dosnt want his child to go through life with out a father. he wants to be there when its says its 1st words and the whole 9 yards. how do i get john to, or what should i say to get him to stay with me for as much as he likes me and not his ex. and for that he is only going back with her for the baby, and only for that reason. i tried saying stuff like he could see the baby anytime and even get full custody. Please help me.....
2007-04-10 19:40:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is his life and his decision.
If you have to convince him .....then what sort of relationship would you have with him???
If he really doesn't want to be with her, then that is his decision. He just might need time to think through all of this.
Just be patient. YOU trying to covince him of something will just put more stress on him and he might resent you in the future. Tell him that you trust him in his decision.
He is a grown up and he knows he can have joint custody. Visitation etc. The man isn't an idiot.
This is his life and gosh.....YOU have dated him for a WEEK
Well, that doesn't show much maturity on your part to be so much in love after a week. Sit back and let life unfold. If he is meant to be with you , he will be.
2007-04-10 19:49:27 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry about what is going on. Here is what I would say if I were you.
" John, I wouldnt want your baby to grow up without you. I really love you though, and this is so hard for me. Couldnt you find a way to be with the baby and me?" if he says no then throw in a lot of words showing how nice, considerate, and loving you are. Then say,
"Well, when you think of a way tell me, okay?".
If you seem self-less he will realize how much of a good person you are and will want to be with you. If nothing works, convince him to cheat on his ex. But only at a desperate time.
I am still so sorry this is happening to you. BEST WISHES!!
P.s: ClCalifo... is kinda right. He should know he cand have visitation rights, custody etc. He does seem like kinda a idiot. He shouldnt be living with someone he basically hates and acting as a husband.
2007-04-11 02:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by MizzQ-T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
doing or, saying something to 'keep' your boyfriend unfortunately doesn't work. the guy has his own mind and in the end will do what he really wants to do anyway. it would only add to your pain to put the inevitable off.
secondly, you have known this guy one week and though i do believe in love at first sight, you've hardly had time to build a life around him. it is extremely selfish to 'want' to take him away from the opportunities of sharing his child's life. regardless of what he's told you he feels, he has made his decision and if you love him as you say, you will not only support in that, but butt out so that he can do as he feels is best without the input or, worry of you. right now, you could only cause problems for him and truly loving someone entails a lot more than YOUR wishes.
you need to step out and away from the situation. you are talking about disrupting a child's life and a child's right to have a father in the home. leave it alone. these are his decisions, not yours.
let it go.
2007-04-11 03:02:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are in a bit of a pickle. First off, I hate to say this but a week is a short amount of time in which to fall in love with someone. I'm not saying that I don't believe in love at first sight, but I believe lust and love can become confused with the onset of a relationship. Now, that I've got that out of the way on to the advice section... Most likely John is in a state of shock right now. He needs to get his head straight, and you might just be the one to help him. Ask him if he really thinks that a relationship without love is a relationship in which a child needs to grow up in. Its better to have a happy part time dad, than it is to have a miserable full time one. Thats really all you can do. Just let him know how you feel about him, etc. etc. ad infinitum.
2007-04-11 02:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by Suriyawong 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is John sure that it's his baby? Their relationship won't last if it's just because of the baby. If he really cares about you like you say, then he would find a way to be with his child and you,but I think you shouldn't make him decide between the two. If it's meant to be, then it will be.
2007-04-11 02:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by Debbie M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
True love means sacrificing your own happiness and letting him go.
I would suggest that instead of thinking of how you can get him back, try to be considerate. Remeber that there's a baby involved. Let him go and for sure there's a better man waiting for you.
2007-04-11 02:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by ruth 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Trust me--RUN!
You don't need a man with baby-mama-drama!!!
Besides, one week can't compete with 6 years and a baby.
2007-04-11 02:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by *amy* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get him drunk, then get him to get you pregnant too.
The best part of this plan is that its perfectly legal if properly executed.
If you don't want to get pregnant, you could steal his ex-girlfriend's baby (but this is not legal - so the first plan is better).
2007-04-11 02:45:11 · answer #8 · answered by billycrypto 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i think that you need to wear socks that fit this time that way you wont get holes in them
2007-04-11 02:45:38 · answer #9 · answered by chrisfitzner31 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Maybe it's time for you to let him go, there are so many men out there.......
2007-04-11 02:48:24 · answer #10 · answered by crixia 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋