Unequally Yoked?

Question

I am with a girl and she is a christian. I believe in deism. Her parents do not know about me because she says they will say that we are unequally yoked. The bible says things like.... What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? I don't believe in an idol, i believe in the same god. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? I am in no way wicked and know many Christians that are far from righteous. It also says.... How can light live with darkness? I don't know but questions like that from the bible just fuel my reasons for believing in deism. It just seems like a ways of saying i am better then you because i can believe in something i have no way of proving to even be fact. (Like that god has an affect on your day or that praying is important) Basically what I'm trying to figure out is this (My sitiation) unequally yoked. Its not like i am a Muslim or a Jehovah's Witness. I just don't have a need for the bible to guide me. Thanks for anything.

Answer 1

A person who quotes from the Christian Scriptures (such as 2 Cor 6:14) is likely a Christian, or a person who tries to live by Christian principles.

Jehovah's Witnesses in particular work to obey the commands and principles in the bible, and they do not marry or date outside the religion. Of course, only a BAPTIZED person can be said to be "in the Lord"; the bible plainly teaches that a Christian woman (or man) is only "free to be married to whom she wants, only in the Lord" - 1 Corinthians 7:39.

In addition, the questioner further alienates himself by calling himself a "Deist". There is no doubt that a self-proclaimed "Deist" is part of the group described by Paul as "unbelievers".

(Exodus 23:32) You are not to conclude a [marriage or other] covenant with them or their gods.

(Deuteronomy 7:3) And you must form no marriage alliance with [unbelievers]. Your daughter you must not give to his son, and his daughter you must not take for your son.

(1 Corinthians 7:39) She is free to be married to whom she wants, only in the Lord.

(Nehemiah 13:25) You should not give your daughters to [the unbeliever's] sons, and you should not accept any of their daughters for your sons or yourselves.

(2 Corinthians 6:14) Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers.


The Scriptures also warn against elevating human desires above godly teachings.

(2 Thessalonians 2:1-3) We request of you not to be quickly shaken from your reason... Let no one seduce you in any manner

(Romans 16:17-18) Keep your eye on those who cause ... stumbling contrary to the teaching that you have learned, and avoid them. ...by smooth talk and complimentary speech they seduce the hearts of guileless ones.

(2 Timothy 4:3-5) For there will be a period of time when they will not put up with the healthful teaching, but, in accord with their own desires, they will accumulate teachers for themselves to have their ears tickled... You, though, keep your senses in all things, suffer evil, do the work of an evangelizer, fully accomplish your ministry.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/19990215/article_01.htm

Answer 2

If you are referring to St. Paul's words of not being yoked to an unbeliever, the answer is "No." You are both Christians. You may have theological differences, but you are both believers. You do need to think and pray about it, though. Our faith (or lack thereof) shapes our worldview. Marriage is challenging, and having a common outlook makes things much easier, particularly when times are tough. Now, there is a spectrum here. A Pentecostal and a Catholic have *far* more in common than and Christian and a Jew or a Muslim. And any person of faith might have more in common with someone of a different religion than with an atheist. But then, it also depends upon the individual. Some lukewarm "liberal" Catholic might have more in common with an atheist than with a devout "conservative" Catholic. It all depends. You need to talk through a lot of things to see where each other is at. Ask yourself what is flexible and what is non-negotiable, especially when it comes to raising children. (For example, would you be comfortable raising the children Catholic?) These issues should be worked through *before* marriage, not after.

Answer 3

The term "unequally yoked" comes from yoking together two animals of different strengths.

If you yoke together 2 oxen, they will pull twice as fast, but if you yoke together an ox and a mule (for example) - the ox will actually have to work harder to pull the load and to pull along the stubborn mule! You see the mule is no help, the mule is pulling in an opposite direction from where the ox is trying to go.

I say all this to point out that if your girlfriend trusts Jesus and reads the bible she is trying to live a certain type of life. If you do not believe what she believes, you won't be able to help her live the life that she wants to lead.

Instead, like the mule, you will constantly be dragging her backwards and pulling her off track instead of encouraging her in her faith in Jesus.

That's why the bible warns us not to be unequally yoked - it hinders our ability to follow Christ!

Answer 4

Your cool... you need to find out more about her beliefs some. I do think you are unequally yoked. But I do not think that is your fault. You just need time to explore what you believe or don't believe. Marriage is a commitment for life... or at least it should be; and you have plenty of time to decide.

The reason this issue is important is that down the road if the two of you can not settle on this issue; when you have children... it can lead to divorce.

Answer 5

I have to agree with Morganie.. You both have different strengths. It is not so much a question of wicked versus righteous, but marriage is hard enough without having a huge difference in faith. When it comes to marriage, your spouse will either double your ministry or cut it in half. If your girl wants to do something for God, you may hinder that purpose or if you want to teach your children about deism, she may give them non-verbal signals that you are not to be believed. You really need to be united in all important issues for a marriage to succeed. You need to be a team. I have had it happen to me. Take care and good luck.

Answer 6

Although the New testament urges Christians not to be unequally yoked with non-believers, it does not prohibit it.

It strongly recommends that you remain with an unbelieving spouse, if possible, in hopes that your faith will be their salvation.

According to the Good Book, everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. For her sake and yours, I would hope you come to know Jesus Christ if you intend to continue your relationship.

I hope that she will take good advice when it is offered and not be unequally yoked together with a non-believer.

Answer 7

With respect, it sounds like you are not very interested in getting to know God....you don't find praying necessary (or useful), you don't have time for the Bible, etc. I encourage you to seek God with all of your heart. That is when God gives you the proof of His existence. Then you will realize you weren't believing in the same god as your girlfriend before....

Answer 8

You guys are unequally yoked yep! That's what those mans books say. Actually, it doesn't matter what book you read, it's all the same. You guys aren't suppose to be together; even if you are happy it doesn't matter (being sarcastic).

But I'm happy to hear that you're using your own brain and questioning those books.

Answer 9

Okay everything you said there, is exactly why they wouldn't want you with their daughter.

The two of you aren't of the same faith, which in most cases means you have 0 chance of having a sucessful relationship.

Answer 10

So---you won't be suckered into the tribalism of organized religion eh??--Good for you!!!!