What's the best way to treat family you don't like?

Question

I really don't like my step grandmother or aunt. My grandmother is weird, religous, and annoying. My aunt is overweight, which I can handle, but she smokes and she REEKS. I just got home from my vacation with my grandparents, and my mom said I was really short with my grandmother and blah. Over the summer, my aunt is visiting, but I'm going to try to hang out at a friend's...what should I do?

Thanks Barthe...yeah...smoking is so intolerable. I hate second hand but fortunatley she smokes outside. She has been smoking for years so even after her shower, she smells like a lit ciggeratte...(spelling error)

Answer 1

Tell someone like your mom, discreetly that your grandmother and aunt annoy you and for what reasons. Bad smells are gross and people who smell should be told! In a delicate fashion though.

Even if your aunt didn't stink I believe based upon your question that you still wouldn't like being around her or your grandmother.....it's terribly boring being around people who talk but don't listen. Also, if you don't talk about your interests (you mentioned that your grandmother is religious, so she must have mentioned God a time or two) then they cannot be blamed. Talk to them about your interests (assuming they smell ok) No matter what you deserve that!

Answer 2

Have a talk with your mom. Explain to her that you don't mean to be rude but that your aunt smells too much like smoke and you find it offensive. Try very hard not to be too judgmental about your aunt when you talk to your mom.

Also explain how uncomfortable you feel around your grandmother and give specifics so she can understand. Just saying she's weird isn't going to help your mom understand where you're coming from. Ask your mom if there is some way that she can limit your aunt's smoking to outside and maybe your mom can talk to both the grandmother and the aunt to see if there can be anything done about how they annoy you.

At the same time, keep in mind that no matter how annoying any person is, all human beings deserve to be treated with respect. You'll get much more support from your mom if you are respectful in dealing with your aunt and your grandmother. It wouldn't hurt for you to talk to each of them yourself and try to get to know them as people instead of as annoying relatives. You might be surprised at who you find there.

Answer 3

There are lots of people we dont like and for good reason. I am sorry you have to be in their company but try to be courteous and polite and busy. I guess your grandmother told your mother you were short and i dont know if you were but try to talk with her next time just about nothing special since grandmas like to chit chat.As for your Aunt, smoke gives me a headache. Does she smoke in the house? Can you say to your mom you feel like you are allergic to it and second hand smoke isnt good for one? Gosh I am sorry. Wont it be nice when you can move out.

Answer 4

You should be home while your aunt is visiting. I don't mean you have to hang around all the time but you are a part of the same family and as such you should treat her with respect and be cordial to her. It never hurts to be mature and decent to members of your family. Someday you may be the one someone doesn't like or appreciate. You will still want to be treated nicely. It's just the right thing to do.

Answer 5

Be polite but at the same way try and avoid spending too much time at home, try and have alot of stuff organised so that when your mum asks you to stay at home say sorry mum but it's been planned for ages and the boys are really counting on me. Good luck i've never been a big fan of the rellies visiting either.

Answer 6

My step sister once asked how I could be so nice to her Mother (my step mom) after all she had put me through for so many years. I simply told her that I treat her as if she were someone elses mom and I am polite. If you go to a friends house and meet their grandparents and they are rude...you just put on a face and be VERY polite. You know that you are bettr than them and won't stoop so low as to give them satisfaction of pushing your buttons and getting away with it. It will kill them that they are not succeeding. It works every time.