i am very confused cos my fiance of 2 years has asked for a threesome. i have talked to him and told him that i am not comfortable with it. but he insists that it is only going to make the relationship stronger and make us develop our sex life. he says i do not trust him enough that is why i am uncomfortable with it. am i being selfish and untrusting by not being comfortable with it?i also feel less attractive cos of his demand, what can i do?
2007-04-10 14:21:57 · 58 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Would you enjoy rolling around naked with another woman?
If not, you didn't even need to ask.
2007-04-10 14:28:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. No. NO!
YOU'RE being selfish?!
He's a rotten controlling bastard who doesn't deserve you.
Personally, I think it is disgusting. Here you are, the person that he should trust, love and respect and he wants to degrade you into a threesome? No.
Stop the wedding. Change the locks. Dump and flush this turd.
Not even a 2nd chance do you give him.
All he wants is a good time. All he cares about is sex. And obviously he's not getting enough from you because he's looking to have it with other people. And I believe, even if you say no, he'll turn around and cheat on you.
Nope. Get rid of this loser. There are better men out there.
Good luck.
A~
2007-04-11 10:13:45 · answer #2 · answered by BigMac2xk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a threesome will not make your sexual relationship stronger, that is just and excuse that he is using.
You aren't being selfish. The only time a threesome is acceptable is when all parties are comfortable with it and there are no strings attached afterwards.
In my opinion, if you really want to give in and you go along with it, make sure you pick the girl!
Also, if he's so interested in threesomes, ask him if he would be interested in having a threesome with you and another man. Hey you have needs too damn it!
2007-04-10 14:27:27 · answer #3 · answered by Leena E 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it, threesomes are great fun, but only if everybody is confident and comfortable with it and any groundrules are clearly understood. This will explode in your face, and your fiance sounds like a child.
For example, my last girlfriend was bi and we had a couple of threesomes. She didn't like the idea of me having penetrative sex with the other girl so I said no problem. There are plenty of others things an active imagination a guy can get two girls to do! Lol. Ground rules followed, all is good!
2007-04-10 14:35:24 · answer #4 · answered by T M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it if you don't feel comfortable with it. If your partner loves and respects you, then they won't want you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. I don't know how he thinks that it will make your relationship stronger. Have you asked him to explain this? Alot of couples feel that they need to 'develop' their sex life, but having a threesome is a recipe for disaster. Very few relationships survive after having this experience. Suggest to him that you cannot do it, and you will not do it. If he continues to go on about it, and attempts to force you to do it, then maybe it is best that you move on and find a partner who will love you and and respect you alone.
2007-04-10 17:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can tell him that you honestly do not feel comfortable with the idea and that if he loves you he will understand and not bring it up again. If he doesn't like this answer he can go fly a kite.
It is often said that one couple goes into a threesome and a different couple comes out. You'll be left on the outside of that new couple wondering what the hell happened.
2007-04-10 14:28:49 · answer #6 · answered by tortured in toledo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fdind another fiance and drop the current one.
If he is saying he wants one this is fine as everyones entitled to their own opinions.
If he is trying to push or persuade or blackmale or whatever you into having a threesome when you have clearly stated you are not ok with one he doesnt deserve you, he obviously needs to get his thrills somewhewre which unfortunalty isnt you and for someone whom the grass is always greener to be tied down?- I hate to say it but the relationship doesnt sound very healthy.
his guys obviously got issues far and beyoned anything which is your fault so dont blame yourself, but babe, you said your piece, you said no the first time, what- wasnt he listning? did he not hear you clearly enough? how hard is "no" to hear.
Find yourself a new one- this one will cause you more pain than its worth, not to mention damaging your self esteem any further than it is (which it must be to have not already walked.) Babe, you can do better.
And also- you dont say if its a male or female who he's asking for as a third, but I'll bet its a girl right? that sounds about right! what an egotistical moron!
2007-04-10 14:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it is something that you do not feel comfortable with, or it is something that you feel compromises your moral values DO NOT DO IT! He should respect your feelings, and the fact that he is interested in this, and you are not tells me that there may be some deeper foundational problems in your relationship that you may not be seeing yet.
I would honestly discuss this with him, in addition to it being something that is a bit much to ask, I think that it is a disease risk as well. This day and age, you are best holding your values high and not letting someone talk you into doing something that you feel is so wrong.
Anyone that makes you feel less attractive or damages your self esteem does not deserve you. I would allow him to move on with his fast life ideals and find someone who will hold you in a higher reguard
2007-04-10 14:28:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, the first answer from guys will be, Wow, yes!! But ultimately no good will come of it. A moments pleasure can cause a lifetime of sorrow. My advice, and yes as a man, is don't do it. It is not like an adult movie, because no emotions come into play there, but your life WILL be affected and you two as a couple will never look at each other the same. Menage a trois is a nice fantasy thing, but the reality would be trouble.
2007-04-10 14:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish. Many women are not comfortable with sharing their man with another woman, esp at the same time. it's not a matter of trust; it's a matter of respect. If you think you'd be comfortable if, for instance, you chose the other woman, go for it, and make it clear that IT'S ON YOUR TERMS ONLY. If you dont want to at all, then don't, and that's that.
Stand your ground, or you'll end up hating and resenting him.
2007-04-10 14:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by Audania 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What would I do? I would end my relationship with someone who doesn't respect me enough to except my choice.
he says i do not trust him enough that is why i am uncomfortable with it. am i being selfish and untrusting by not being comfortable with it?
The above statements would have me questioning his feelings for me (were I in your situation). They show a very low level of respect and understanding. They also show he is trying to bully you into a situation he knows your not comfortable with.
What should you do? Only you can answer that.
2007-04-10 14:29:33 · answer #11 · answered by mommyof2greatkids 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋