my ex husband was verbally/emotionally abusive which would make me cry. then, when i would cry, he would get even meaner and tell me to "shut up and no one wants to hear that." of course, those words hurt more and made me cry more. we have been separated for a year and for the past few months, i've been dating another man. sometimes he comes across as too harsh and likes to disagree a lot with my opinions. it hurts my feelings because i don't want to agrue, i just want him to validate me and not just put down my opinion. anyway, sometimes i cry a little and now i found out that is why he wants to break up = because i cry sometimes. he said that his feelings changed when he heard me cry. i don't understand. i've only cried a couple of times, and when i did, i was very quiet about it and just kept to myself. i'm very sensitive and when i'm hurt = i cry. why wouldn't a man just say something nice and then i'd feel better? why do they say mean things that make it worse?
2007-04-10 10:24:02 · 19 answers · asked by philly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
DUMP HIS BUTT!!!
My ex who I just broke up with is a verbal abusive selfish prick!
Most guys don't get mad...they sympathize...
Your ex husband has issues!!!
I'm sorry he was this way to you...
Good luck!
2007-04-10 10:27:56 · answer #1 · answered by lotsofluv007 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes a guy will feel frustrated when a woman cries because he doesn't know what to do- and when a girl breaks out into tears instead of talking, it can seem like it would make it worse. The guy is probably already angry then too. Sometimes tears just make men uncomfortable and they're not quite sure what to do or say to make her feel better/stop crying. A lot of guys though will comfort a girl when she cries or want to help her- but some men will get tired of the crying if it's a constant thing or they'll get angry because they don't want to deal with it. It all depends on the guy- each has their reasons.
2016-05-17 05:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by jennette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all guys are like that. I cry a lot, and my boyfriend wanted to break up with me because he felt like all he was doing was making me miserable. But, once he realized I just happen to be emotional, he accepted it. He never is angry when I cry. I think you need to get out of your new relationship. A real man would be nice to you and try to make you feel better. You just happen to be dating guys who are abusive. You deserve so much better. Men who get angry when you cry are just not worth it because if they really cared for you, they wouldn't hurt your feelings even more. If he can't accept your sensitivity, then he doesn't deserve to be with you.
2007-04-10 10:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by Liz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. you've had a lot of abusive relationships. I think you need to show men you are confident in yourself before you go out with someone. If you show them you are confident, they won't hurt you as much. If you are crying to yourself, even quietly, it shows the men that you are weak and their instincts tell them that they have to be strong and take control. If you let them do this to you once, they will do it FOREVER. Always remember that you are a strong woman with a good head on her shoulders. Forget those idiots, you can do way better.
Ps. Dump the boyfriend and find yourself a new man, honey.
2007-04-10 10:31:19 · answer #4 · answered by verleybe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would rather say that the man you have found is not so understanding... If a guy really love you, he will feel sad and guilty for making you cry...
2007-04-10 10:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by PaZ KarL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they are abusive then you are not the first thing on their mind and they eblieve if theya re mad and upset no one else should and they get mad.
Usually when yuo cry guys get upset because they think they caused it with their actions and if they are nice and compaionate they will comfort you, but abusive guys will not do that. Hope that helps!
2007-04-10 10:31:07 · answer #6 · answered by Molly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop crying to get attention. guys figured that one out a long time ago. if youare legitimately crying, he is mad for a couple of reasons. 1. he thinks you are faking it 2. he feels like a jerk, but doesnt know how to fix it. 3. he feels helpless, and guys hate that 4. hes a freakin jerk
you take your pick, but thats what i think. :)
best of luck
2007-04-10 10:28:52 · answer #7 · answered by Sherry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this isnt a question about men, but about your man. that isnt some sort of standard reaction for men but it sounds like its standard for your man. also consider that if he is emotionally abusive and he sees its affecting you through you crying than you would think that would make him continue since the ultimate goal is to affect you.
2007-04-10 10:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by asg_is_chillin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men often get mean when women cry because they don't like mushy gushy stuff and it makes them uncomfortable. So to stop the mush gushy stuff = crying they get mean. Men are jerks I know.
2007-04-10 10:31:19 · answer #9 · answered by Allie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. It sounds like you're going through a lot.
He acts this way because of guilt.
This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship, and I'd get out of it as soon as possible.
Good luck.
2007-04-10 10:29:41 · answer #10 · answered by B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you knwo wAHT! I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!! butt u noe whatttt... its soo annoying like why can't they just be there for youu when u cryy instedd offff making you cry more? like... saying shut up is really going to make u stop .. right..
guyss justt are soo not kool sumtimes...
maybe one day u will find a guy who will hold u when you cryy insted of telling u too shut up.! =]
sry that happend..
best of luck. my wishes to ya.!
2007-04-10 10:28:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋