What should I do about a neighbourhood bully?

Question

Our little girl is 6 years old, and plays with the boy across the street, but he has been increasingly mean(pushing etc.) and nasty(name calling). We never leave her unattended outside, so we see this, and call an end to thier play. Then another day they will play great. Our daughter really likes this kid(which we always say a friend doesn't call names or hurt you) and we like the parents, but obviously our main concern is to our child, and we don't want her to play with him anymore. How do we do this diplomatically? I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but we cannot have our child bullied in her own yard! Need some advice how to handle, and how to be firm but fair and consider others feelings.

Answer 1

I think this needs to be more like ripping off a band-aid. It won't be pleasant so just get it over with. You can explain to the parents if you want, but I think the most important thing is keep your daughter away from him - whether it hurts feelings or not.

Answer 2

My daughters best friend use to live next door to us.. They would have days where they played great, and the days where they were fighting non stop... My and her friends mother got together and discussed the problem together and figured out a solution.. If they called each other names or fought, they weren't allowed to play together for the rest of the day.. And we both agreed to this and we both sat down with the kids to see what the problem was at the time they were fighting.. I would talk to this boys mother or father seeing that you really like them, so you must get along with them and try to come up with a solution.. Where are his parents at when he calls her these names? Maybe they are not aware of this problem.. I would bring it up nicely in a normal conversation to let them know that he is calling your daughter names.. Maybe he is doing this because another friend is picking on him because they are saying that your daughter is his girlfriend and that is upsetting him.. That was a big start of my daughters fights between her friend.. They would each say you like so and so and the other would say so you like so and so.. And this would go on forever.. So I would bring it up to his parents and see what you guys came come up with together.. Good luck

Answer 3

I am assuming the boy across the street is also around 6.

If so then he probably has feelings for your daughter that he does not understand, and therefore acts out aggressively. Since its not an always thing, let them play together monitored. Also talk to his parents and make sure there isn't an underlying problem, and that its ok with them that you apply corrective behaviour.

Answer 4

You need to sit down with the neighbor. Try to talk about why this might be happening. Explain you are just concerned. But when it comes to your daughter, if you ruffle feathers trying to keep her safe, so be it. Her safety is your number one priority. My daughter had issues with one of her "friends" and this little girl was rude, impolite and extremely physical. I ended up talking to the mother, I ruffled her feathers because of me telling her how her daughter acted, and my daughter is safe. It's no skin off my back. I was fond of the mother but I would rather my daughter be safe than bullied. I wish you luck and strength.

Answer 5

"I don't want to ruffle any feathers." You're kidding, right? You say this neighbor kid is bulling your daughter so why do you continue to let he play with the bully? I'm sure you can find other playmates for her. Six years old so she is in Kindergarten. That means she has other friends. If my daughter was being bullied I would ruffle many a feather, Come on, this is your daughter's safety at stake here. You amaze me and not in a good way.

Answer 6

if she enjoys playing with this child, try (at least intially) to see if you can control his behavior by having them play in your yard. explain, to both of them, the house rules; no hitting, kicking, pushing, no name calling, etc. also, set a consequence for breaking the rule, such as a two minute time-out break, and give a three strike rule; after which the play date ends. also, make sure your daughter knows that she does not have to, and should not, tolerate mean behavior from others, and how to respond.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

have you thought about having a talk with the boy's parents? Non-accusing, no blame, more like, "What can we do." WE

if your daughter likes to be around this boy, maybe just let her. The chances of him doing any major damage to her are not that big---maybe this whole thing is working for her better than for you.

do you understand the term, "hothouse flower?" do you want one?

good-luck---it is so sweet that you are so concerned for your daughter's well-being

Answer 9

Document his bullying. Film it secretly then confront him. Bullies dont usually say they do the act. Show him and his parents the film. Set up a rule with them and stick to it. If it continues then teach your child to surprise him by denying him of his bully antic. One father taught his little girl the technique, "kick, kick and run."

Answer 10

i would either keep an eye over them while they play or talk to his parents cause even if you take your daughter away he'll bully other kids