Painful love triangle.... dont know what to do?

Question

i met the guy of my dreams a few months ago and fell head over heels. i love him soooo much and i know he loves me. i had just gotten out of a relationship and was afraid of getting hurt again so we agreed to take it slow. then all of a sudden he calls me at work and tells me you know i love you and i enjoy your company but im going to try to work things out with my ex because we invested alot...... but i want us to continue to be friends and i still love you. he broke my heart into pieces. he still calls everyday we still go out... and sleep together, he complains about her all the time but it seems shady if she's so bad why did he take her back?, being second place is killing me, but everytime i tell myself im worth more and i need to let go....i just cant. our connection is much to strong, i Never encourage him to leave i just try to be a friend and listen..... then i ask myself what are you waiting for? Can any ladies who have been there give me advice?

Answer 1

He cant be working things out with his ex and you at the same time. Its impossible. I think its time you have a heart to heart chat with him and tell him how the situation makes you feel. Is it fair to either of you that he sleeps with you, goes out with u, and calls you all the time. I think you need to tell him to leave you alone for awhile and really think about his actions. If he truly loves you and has moved on hell come back, if he hasnt even though its gonna hurt not having him around its gonna hurt a whole lot more if hes still seeing the both of you months from now

Answer 2

I want to tell you from experience to get out and get out now. I think men love everyone. I was with this guy same story as yours and let's just say honey he already made his choice. I used to think that he'd come around. If you think it hurts now, stick around a little longer and you really are going to get hurt. He's pulling you along like a piece of meat. Both people in a relationship are supposed to be happy and believe me he's ecstatic. But how happy could you be being the other woman. I am so sorry for you because it hurts so bad but just put that back bone to work and tell him no the next time he wants to sleep together and see if he still wants to be "friends". I doubt it. Just be strong. Do you sleep with any of your other friends? But really you need to work this out on your own, not on the advice of a complete stranger. Just try to keep your head up cause I know I cried many times over my triangle.

Answer 3

I've been their and it sucks. First of all if you are worth alot and being second best is never gonna be enough. Don;t you want to be someones first choice, don;t you feel you are worth number one in someones heart. I tell you this because I was in your boat once and when it all went down i was just his friend and he stayed with her, so if you are trying to be a friend to him DO NOT sleep with him, the more you interact with him and sleep with him the more attach you get and he well he has it made, when he's made with his girls he comes to you and the other way around. Don't suffer don't be the cause of the other girls worries, be you be strong and be #1 to someone else who will love you always as number one, its gonna be hard, be friends but being friends does not mean being sex partners. Would you like it if you were in a relationship and your boyfriend had another girls his number 2, how would that feel. Girl just be careful, and sometime you just have to let go!!!!

Answer 4

Honey, you are playing with fire here and you need to take action fast!

Admit to yourself you are the other woman. Admit to yourself that if he truely loved you then he would not even contemplate going back to his ex to "work it out" for any reason. Admit to yourself that if he really was trying to work it out with his ex that he would not continue sleeping with you or going out with you. He is having his cake and eating it too.

I was in a relationship with a guy a few years back. Things seemed to be going just fine until I got a phone call...from his wife! He had told me he was divorced and had not been in a relationship for some time. His wife told me they had been married for 7 years and that during their whole marriage he had a mistress that he still had on top of other girlfriends!

You have to do what I did - take care of #1 and that is you. Know that you are going to hurt but that you are going to heal. Know that you are doing what is best for you by distancing yourself from this man at all costs. Because of the situation, you can't even take the chance of trying to remain "just friends" because in the end you will give in and get hurt again.

Know that once you have freed your heart and your mind from this triangle that you will heal and feel better about yourself and feel stronger. Know that once you have learned to accept and love yourself for who you are and to keep you as #1 that you will, in due time, find the right man.

It took me two years before I found the right man for me. We have been dating 7 months now and our relationship couldn't be stronger. Remember the old saying, "Time heals all wounds."

Answer 5

Get out of this immediately! Nothing good what so ever will come from this. This happens all the time. Let him go, seriously! You WILL end up getting even more hurt in the end. He's right, him and her have invested a lot of time. and he will not let that go. I would cut the ties and move on to someone else who isn't all messed up. Actually, you just need some time alone as well it sounds like,

Answer 6

Let me get this straight. The man of your dreams is a liar and a cheat with no values or morals. He is someone who breaks your heart, leaves you to go back to his ex, cheats on his ex with you, complains to you about her, and uses you for his booty calls. What a dream guy, whew !!!

I hope you see that he has everything to gain, and you have everything to lose. How convenient of him to break your heart into pieces, and decide to go back to his ex, and keep you around for "the benefits". Even if you and he have a good connection, he decided that he wanted his ex over you. You should have walked away at that point. And, if it's so true that she's so bad that he constantly complains about her, then why hasn't he broken up with her ? Instead, he plays both of you, and keeps you dangling for him, while he uses you for emotional stability and for sex.

Please don't do this to yourself, you don't deserve this. He's a player, and you and the other girl are his puppets. He doesn't have any values or morals. Stand firm, and let him know that you will no longer be involved with him or want any contact with him whatsoever, He is just a selfish pig, who only cares about himself, and doesn't care that he uses and hurts other people. You don't to be his booty call, and you don't want to interfere in his relationship with his girlfriend.

Good riddance !!!

Answer 7

Hmmmm... that's a tricky one. It seems you've got a good head on your shoulders though and so far have not done anything wrong. Maybe telling him about the dream was a mistake, but you were only making light of it. I sympathise about your feelings for Mitchell, but you're going to have to get them in check... fast! Are there any other boys you could hang out with? You need a boyfriend to get your mind off things. It's worked for me in the past! ;o) I wouldn't tell Juliet about the dream, and make sure you don't put yourself in a situation where you and Mitchell are alone. Personally it doesn't sound like he and her are going to be together forever, but regardless, he is off bounds for a VERY long time. Try to put it to the back of your mind, and stay out of it until it all calms down. Good luck!

Answer 8

Love yourself and get out.
If you don't you will wake up one day and realize that you have wasted your youth on someone who used you.
If you stay you will keep compromising your standards - you would be amazed at what you can get used to - and maybe you will eventually settle for second place.
He is manipulating you and although he says he cares does he have no clue that this hurts you? He knows. Yet he does not care.
There are so many people in this world that you do not need him as a friend. You need to go cold turkey. Maybe some day you can be his friend but not now. Now you need to concentrate on yourself and getting back your self respect, self esteem, and getting emotionally strong so that you can go on with your life.

Answer 9

This is a very hard situatino to be in. Here are the steps you need to take to get out of it.

1. Ask your self if he really loved you he would not be with another women.

2. Tell him you love him and if you are not gonig to be the only women in his life you dont want to be with him but if he breaks it off with the ex then you would get back together with him.

3. Even if he colmplains about her realisticly is he gonig to stop seeing her any time soon. If hes sleeping with you then what do you think hes doing with her. Yuo dont want to do that to yourself do you.?

4. Tell him that if he dosnt lose her in a week your leaving him. This should proboly be your last resort.


BUT YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS.


If you really repsected yourself you would.


I know its hard but it the truth.

Good Luck :]

Answer 10

Do you not think that maybe this guy is playing both of you? I know its hard to not be with him, but you only making it worse for yourself in the long run. He is the only one benefiting from this triangle. Maybe he whines about her when he is with you to make you think she is "so bad" and to maybe give you false hope that one day he will eventually leave her and be with only you. I think if he really cared about either of you, he would make a choice and pick one instead of using you both. Give him an ultimatum, you or her and if he picks her, then it would be better for you now than later when you are more emotionally invested.