Some of you are going to roll your eyes at this because I've been with this guy for so long but I'm honestly seeking an answer. If your going to be heartless or rude don't read any further.
I've been dating this guy for 2 years (3 years come november) and we're living together have been for about a year. I'm 20 and he's 22. We met when we I was 12 & he was 14 (shared a journalism class) My boyfriend shows no affection at all, if he goes to give me a kiss goodbye its a kiss on the cheek, he doesn't say he loves me to my face, he's only said it when he thinks i'm sleeping, i've never once gotten anything sentimental from him and when i did a radio dedication to him that got played by Kasey Casem and he heard it and looked at me and said "YOUR SUCH A GIRL"
Why does he do this, he doesn't show any affection and I don't know why he doesnt. I'm not afraid to tell him I love him, ive done it many times before so why can't he do the same or something to show his feelings?
2007-04-10 09:00:59 · 20 answers · asked by *Heather* 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Could be that he's shy to show how hes affectionate. I have a boy friend like that too. But with the request song thing. i don't know. May be he's scared he's friends heard it. All i know is to test him says things you think he might not want to hear like your thinking he doesnt like you any more or that he doesnt show he loves you that your thinking of moving out. if he gives you an answer like don't go or ask why would you want to do that. In a guys words that mean he has feelings for you and he doesn't want you to go.
2007-04-10 09:12:11 · answer #1 · answered by shmamie02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's one of two things: either he doesn't love you, or he has had an experience in his past that is preventing him from being able to say "I love you." However, unfortunately, I'm leaning towards the first one because not only does he not say it, he doesn't show it either. You've been with him over two years, are living together, and he won't tell you he loves you...Is this the type of relationship you want to have forever? You deserve better than this. It's understandable at the beginning of a relationship for a couple to be shy about the "L" word, but you're at the point where this definitely shouldn't be an issue.
I would have a serious talk with him and if he doesn't give you an extremely good reason for the way he's acting AND he won't change his ways, dump his sorry butt and find someone who will treat you right.
2007-04-10 16:09:04 · answer #2 · answered by Natty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he takes you for granted. You guys have known each other for a long time. Sometimes you settle into a routine and you need to shake things up. Take the initiative and do something spontaneous that he will appreciate i.e. nothing too girly. It also could be that you guys have outgrown each other. Early twenties are an important time - you are figuring out what you want out of life and who you really are. Maybe the spark is no longer there but the deep feelings of caring and respect are. Take a closer look at how you feel as well and examine if it is "can't live without you" love you feel or just platonic love and friendship. And the bottom line is, just ask him how he feels but be ready to hear the truth. Good luck.
2007-04-10 16:08:41 · answer #3 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can tell you is it would be wonderful if people were the same forever & grew together. Sounds like though the two of you are growing apart. Keep in mind too people are not completely mentally or emotionally developed until at least 25. I'm sure he's a great guy in general, but isn't taking your needs (which I'm assuming you have addressed many many times) seriously. This is a sure sign that he might love you, but not how you need to be loved. Understand? Sorry, but this is from a woman who's been at both ends. 4 proposals, no children, an std from a cheater/liar, married & didn't tell me, the love that wanted to marry & take care of me, etc...I should just have seasoned & jaded tattooed on my *** already & I'm just shy of 30. Baby, take from solicited advice. Move on. It'll break your heart to do it, but you'll be happier for it in the long run I promise. Good luck
2007-04-10 16:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by kitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what I read he obviously has feelings for you, or he wouldn't have stayed with you for as long as he has. He also wouldn't bother to say he loves you, even if it is when he thinks you're sleeping. I personally would have a conversation and ask him why he is like that, if you haven't already. He might just give you the answers you need. You don't want to let you're whole life go to waste if he's not the one and if you're not the one that he truly loves with all of his heart. Everyone deserves to find their "soul mate" if it takes their entire life to do so. People keep a lot of things locked up inside, there might be a good explination for him not being affectionate, it's easiest to just ask him.
2007-04-10 16:08:28 · answer #5 · answered by p3rfectdaytoday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do in this situation is to just flat out ask him. You should have a talk with him about it. If you have to ask us whether or not he does... my gut would tell me that he doesn't. But after having a relationship with someone for that long the initial flame and butterlies, and gushy lovey dovey feelings with significantly dissipate over time.
Really though.. sit him down, and tell him that something has been on your mind, it's been bothering you, and you need a real "from the heart" answer from him. Ask him how he genuinly feels about the relationship.
good luck!
2007-04-10 16:11:16 · answer #6 · answered by E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dam girl for being almost three years and he is like this. Has he just recently started acting like this or he has always been like that? Either one he is like a macho kinda guy or two he has someone else. Maybe he is just with you cause you guys are so use to eachother. U need to ask him straight out what the deal is because those are your feelings he is playing with u know? You are young and can find someone that is really going to love you!!! Trust me I know!
2007-04-10 16:08:53 · answer #7 · answered by Emii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have known him for that long then you need to realize who he is and changing that would be changing the person you have known for years. Is that fair? Just because you want something to change NOW, does not give you the right to poke at what he does. Try turning these questions on yourself. What Am I saying? Im saying either deal with and accept what you got into or dont and move on but dont get into something and then try to make it so it fits what you want. THATS SELFISH.
2007-04-10 16:07:00 · answer #8 · answered by holykrikey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe this is one of those relationships where he thinks you guys are buddy buddy, but if you're living with the guy it does seem a little weird. I would just let it go if he's been with you for this long he obviously cares about you maybe he is just trying to take things slow and not rush anything, go with the flow and hang in there. it will be okay good luck!:)
2007-04-10 16:06:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should know he loves you by the things he does, how he treats you and if you feel it. Of course saying it is important, and it's nice to hear, but he can say lots of things and not mean it. Actions speaks louder than words. If you're asking that question, it's because you have doubts and probably, he doesn't love you as you want him to and deserve.
2007-04-10 16:11:18 · answer #10 · answered by Lyna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋