As a mother, is it ok that i shair custody with the farther?

Question

My family always make side comments about my kids not being with me (negative ones). On average they spend half the year with him and half with me. They are only 3 not in school yet but are they missing something by moving around so much??

he lives in Ohio and i'm in Louisiana. I know its kids are happy but they try to make me feel guilty, like im not a full time parent

Answer 1

that's better than keeping kids from one parent or the other

soon your gonna have to decide where they go to school
i suggest sending them to one school and then whatever parent doesnt have them for school gets summers and long holidays (christmas and spring break)

tell your family to get over it

no they are not missing anything they are actually getting to see more
and they wont miss anything if you keep them in the same school all year
they will have school friends and summer friends therefore they will have more friends to

Answer 2

My son is 9 1/2 and has shared custody between me and his father for almost 6 years now. With our situation I feel that it is better. He is with both of us throughout the year and doesn't have to see us arguing and fighting all the time. He gets to spend time with both of his parents. Only you can decide what is better. At one time his father made me feel that we should be back together (because of our son) and it lasted for about 6 months, and my son was more upset seeing the arguing all the time. I think its better to be seperated and to be happy and to see his parents happy. If you can comunicate with the father and you both feel that its what is right than I don't think anyone elses opinion matters. I am always told that I need to take full custody of him, but what makes that right? I may not always agree with his father, but our son loves him, and as long as he isn't doing anything that could hurt him than why shouldn't he be allowed to be with his son?

Answer 3

I am the mother of an 18 month old and I share custody of her with her father. He gets our daughter 10 -12 days out of every month. You have to ignore your family and decide what you think is best for your children. I want my daughter to know her father, so that is the choice I made. You may have some behavioral problems down the road but just be patient and make sure you stand your ground with your children and always tell them that you and daddy love them very much even though you are not together

Answer 4

I think it's wonderful that they still get so much time with their father. Too many times when parents separate, Dad just sort of disappears. It would be better, though, if you guys lived closer together. What are you going to do when they do go to school? Maybe you could each job hunt in the other's town and whoever gets a job first moves.

Answer 5

Read the book "How Could You?: MOthers without custody".
God, it saved me. I have a story of my own, of course, but an undiagnosed hormone disorder that made for near-bi-polar depression and a near-fatal car accident should be all Ihave to say to explain why he's not with me.
You have to put a stop to people's toxicity.
Family supports you, or they're no good.
Period.
You have a rough time.
Ask them this:
If they want you to change it so badly, do they think that trying to make you feel guilty is going to strengthen you to accomplish getting him back?
What good do they THINK they're doing, and what BAD will they SEE when actually open thier eyes?
And if you're Chrisitan, tell them:
Let she who is without sin cast the first stone, and she who is without pain slash with first sword.
Nasty family.

Answer 6

Of course they are missing something, consistancy. Children that age need a routine in order for them to function well. Sharing custody is good in certain cases, however when the children reach school age, it tends to get complicated. Don't worry about what your family says because no one knows what it is like except for yourself. Sit down with your ex and make a schedule so that your children will have some kind of schedule. Thank you and may GOD bless.

Answer 7

It is okay to share custody, it isn't okay to take the children away from their father. Whether your family are making negative comments, it means less than if you were to act on them. It will be hard raising children in two seperate house holds but it would be worse if one parent was taken away. Share custody with the father. If it is difficult maybe you and the father should live nearer eachother. Find alternative methods to help the situation not worsen it.

Answer 8

I think that as long as you and the father treat them well and are good parents, there is nothing wrong with sharing custody. If you had said that he was abusing them or not giving them attention, I would have a different answer.
Children are created by two parents, and it would be great if they could all be raised by two parents. If the kids start to show pschological issues or if you don't trust the way he cares for them, then you should worry. There are enough fathers who don't want anything to do with their kids!!

Answer 9

As long as they are NOT in school - it's no big deal. Once they begin school - then other arrangements must be made because it's just not good for a child (emotionally) to be going to two different schools. Once they begin school - they need to remain with one parent (during the school year) and then spend summers with the other.

Answer 10

as a young man not being with either of my parents, i feel that if you feel that you should have as much time to your kids as you need. as a woman you have things that your kids have to be taught only by a woman, and there are things that the father can teach them that only a man can. so you have a choice whether to share custody or not and as for your family, don't pay too much attention to that. it causes a lot of stress and leads to nonsense.