Confused about my daughters views?

Question

I am really concerned about my 16 year old daughters views and I'm starting to think she may get herself into trouble. First of all i got a call from school saying that she had wrote in an RE essay that 'catholicism is a hypocrasy as they worship the pope as gods representative on earth when in his youth he was a nazi and one of his main jobs in the catholic church before been a pope was to protect peadophiles, and in effect is a walking condolence of two of the biggest evils on earth,peadophilia and nazism' the school said it was unacceptable, however in all fairness she did criticise all other religons. However now i've noticed her views are getting more extreme I mean today she declared she whole heartedly believes in an economy free society with no money and everyone fends for themselves with what resources they have as money was invented to keep people in a pecking order. I also notice a few anti-semitic sentiments too. What can i say to get her to stop saying such things?

Answer 1

yup she sounds 16
they usually hate the world
she is growing and finding herself ... dont worry please
try and help her be a little more tolerant , but she doesnt seem abnormal for her age though

Answer 2

You won't be able to make her stop. But discussing these things with her and asking WHERE she gets all of her info is a good start on not being confused about her views. Communication is the key. And I suggest not telling her that she is Wrong... but when you feel her views are misguided bring up a different point of view on the subject.

BTW, She's only partially right about the Pope. He was in the Hitler Youth, but it was his parents who put him in it (his father was a devout Nazi at the time). He didn't protect pedophiles, the Bishops right here in the states did that (and did not get arrested for it - which really irks me). It's unacceptable in school because that is all she is doing is criticizing. If she had approached it with ideas on how to keep it from happening again, or what to do about the situation now without going to the extreme of an economy free society (sorry, just because you do away with paper money and coins, doesn't mean there isn't an economy... it all started with trade) then they would have accepted it. Schools don't mind criticism, but they want to see what you are learning from the situations and how you have come up with ideas about the situation. I'm sure most people have enough of others criticizing everything and everyone and not coming up with any ways to fix it. =)

Answer 3

Sounds like a 16yo making up her own mind and thinking for herself.

I would be concerned about three things: The generalisation of the pope as a nazi, the protection business and the things against jews.

Personally I wouldn't tell her not to think that, but I would make her defend those statements. They sound like she picked up some soundbites from the internet. I would not be concerned as she can not defend those things against me.

I would ask her what nazi's are, what the pope did, why he's a nazi today; I would ask her how people, knowing all that, still think he can be a pope.
About the jews; I'd ask her how and why the jews are different and why her views are different from those of the nazis... stuff like that.

The moneyless society is a philosohpically interesting statement, far more innocent and definitely in line with her age. Again, I would ask her in detail how such a society would work.

Answer 4

To calm her down, I would agree with some of it but then jump in with the however's. Be sure to make it clear to her that 1.) humans are a social animal and 2.) we need each other to survive. We don't all have the same resources. Sharing is a good thing. Money can be manipulated but originally, it's use was so it use was more wide-spread. I.E.-If a person trades a cow for two chickens but needs to get sugar from someone else, the sugar person may have no need of chickens and demand three pigs instead. That's why it makes better sense to have a common form of currency.
Let her know that she may have arguments for one point of view but if she REALLY wants to be different (and respected) she needs to see/understand both sides of an argument. She might learn more in a debate class. When she starts studying both viewpoints, she'll probably start being more reasonable.
If you haven't already, you might want to ask this in the psychology section.

Answer 5

why would u stop ur daughter. she is free o tink u can no take that away for u should be thankful. most people in tis god forsaken world dont think. u sould go with ur daughter on a journey to find truth whether u believe it to be or not. talk and learn of all religions and support ur daughters free thinking. and show her ur support and only be critical on the ideas of respect faith and other positives. but be careful or she will rebel. and take this chance to let her know this is a time to prove herself an adult a free thinker not one who is blinded or stuck in a box. and let urself know u r a good parent u have given her the tools to succeed. i hope this was of some use u. if u want o talk more about this please feel free to contact me at any time. :) remember knowledge is power!

Answer 6

"What can i say to get her to stop saying such things?"

Seems like the best thing that you can say is something like "Alright, young lady. If this is what you truly believe, then once you turn 18, you can move out on your own. If you believe that living in an ecomony-free commune is truly superior of the life that your father and I have given you, then you need to go out and live that life. You have my blessing."

It sounds cruel and heartless, I know, but your daughter is INCREDIBLY confused about the real world. If you say something like this, she'll either be smacked with some reverse psychology (since I doubt she's expecting ANY parent to be "okay" with a lifestyle this radical) and decide to stay home, or she'll comply with your suggestion of moving out at 18, live with one of her girlfriends without making a scrap of money in a part-time job (since she doesn't BELIEVE in money), get kicked out for being a bum, and finally come back home a little wiser and humbler.

I'll be praying for you.

Answer 7

It sounds like teenage rebellion, and the adolescent search for identity. I had some pretty extreme views when I was a teenager, too. Many kids do. She is still looking for who she is, and she is "trying on" different "selves" to see what fits. I wouldn't worry too much about it, unless she shaves her head and get a swastika tattoo (just kidding). She's in transition to adulthood. You should discuss her views with her, without judgment, to see if there are underlying issues she is dealing with. She might just need support, or a gentle nudge in a positive direction. The best of luck to you.

Answer 8

Ah from personal experience...let it run it's course. If you object or forbid it, most teenagers will further embrace the ideas. You have to let her make her own mistakes in life and let her change her political views on her own. Which at that age, she most likely will do in a few years time.

And do what Vinslave said. Expose her to new ideas. Often people who develop such notions do so because they haven't really been out there in the world and haven't known the people they have prejudices for.

Answer 9

Why the heck is she writing about Catholicism for an essay for school? If she gets a choice of topics, she should choose some other topic. If she doesn't get to choose a topic, then that school isn't separating church from state!

Answer 10

Nothing. I say you commend her for her free-thinking and encourage her to continue her pursuit of knowledge. If some of her veiws turn out to be off the mark she will discover it herself, which is the best way, and correct them. Do not try and restrain her mind. Asking hard questions about assumed beliefs is normal and healthy, where as trying to supress her thoughts is not.

Answer 11

Well, shoving your religion down her throat will only push her further away. Why not talk to her about it and try to understand why she feels that way and accept it! Yes, she has a mind of her own and you need to respect that. Maybe you both could learn something about each other.