Ok. It's not the she doesn't like me, she's just very protective of her son. He's 27 and went through a very nasty divorce and custody battle 2 years ago that was very emotional for his whole family, especially his mom. After that his "rebound" girl I guess you could say, was this stripper that claimed to be pregnant with his kid. After raising the child for 6 months he found out she wasn't his and the girl left the state with her, which also broke his mom's heart because she was really attached to the little girl. I care about him a lot and he doesn't seem to care what his mom thinks but I do! I don't want her to think I'm like the other ones because I'm far from it. She's always nice to me and she hasn't told him that she doesn't like me, she just tells him he needs to be more careful and more picky. The other two lived off of him completely. I'm 24, have a good steady job that pays well, my own place and pay my own bills and provide for my kids. How can I change her mind about me?!
2007-04-10 07:31:05 · 15 answers · asked by CrystalDawn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks "floatpool"! I'd love for him to get me pregnant too, but unfortunately...I'm no longer able to have children after having 2 preemies who almost died at birth! I guess I should be thankful for the 3 that we already have...my two girls, and his son, who I might add he has complete custody of with the ex having supervised visitation! I'd say he's a lot more of a winner than you ever will be. Oh and did I mention that he got full custody of his son while he was in Iraq fighting for your freedom to open your big mouth!
Thanks to everyone else for the thoughtful answers. He says she'll come around, maybe I'm worrying about nothing...but thanks all the same!
2007-04-10 08:26:33 · update #1
Wow. What a tough situation! I can see the delimma from both sides. It's normal for a Mum to try and save her child from further heartache (what a mess!), but on the other hand, you are nothing like the previous girlfriend and you should not be compared to her.
I would try and spend some quality time alone with his Mum. You guys could bond over a common event - like go shopping for his birthday together or help her plan a family cookout or something like that. Just let her know exactly how you feel about him. You can even ask her questions (none too probing, of course!) about the situation and just say that you want to get a better understanding for where your beau is coming from. Be straight with her and let her know that you understand that he has had alot of major relationship issues in the past and that you will try your hardest to help him heal and get through those issues- together.
This will take time and she won't let her guard down overnight. Just work on her and she'll come around.
2007-04-10 07:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by YSIC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The true answer is, you can't "make" anyone like you. And the more time you spend worrying about the things in life you can't control, the more miserable you will end up being.
What you can do is make your best honest effort. As suggested earlier, take her out to lunch, go shopping... find something you both have in common and make an effort to go do it together, alone, without the BF around. Whether or not she will accept the olive branch and be reasonable is entirely up to her.
After that, all you can do is be satisfied knowing tha t you are a good person, that you aren't like the others, and that you love your BF and he loves you.
Only time will change this woman's mind, and even that isnt' a guarantee. So be the bigger person, make an effort, and if she choses to look down at you, don't worry about her anymore. She's the one with the problem, not you.
2007-04-10 07:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by Physh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!
Well in my experience with my fiances Mom...
I don't know if you bake or anything but, I've made cookies and brought them down for birthdays and sent cards through the year (which they love)
Maybe you could take her out to lunch and tell her how much you care about him and that you won't be going anywhere.
If you reach out I'm sure she would love that!
Good luck!
2007-04-10 07:37:27 · answer #3 · answered by erink1799 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend sounds like a winner. I suggest you do whatever it takes to "win" her over. He is divorced at 27, and dates strippers? He has unprotected sex with her? Gee, I hope he gets you pregnant and you have 11 kids, only to find out what the other women found out about him. Haven't you watched the "View" or seen "Oprah" it's ALWAYS the mans fault. So these other women are victims and you will be soon.
2007-04-10 07:37:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Show her that you are a caring person and responsible girl and love her son. Also that you are just a great girlfriend...maybe try talking to her too, but thats up to you.Good Luck!!!
2007-04-10 07:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you treat her son right she will notice. I wouldn't worry too much about the mom. You 2 may not even last that long.
2007-04-10 07:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Patience. Honesty. You cannot make someone like you, she has been hurt in the past, give her plenty of space and just hope she comes around.
2007-04-10 07:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by draken 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Take her out to lunch one day and tell her what you want from her son. Say that you love him very much and that you want her to love you to. Maybe just talking to her about it will help. Hope things work out well!
2007-04-10 07:33:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Hmph no offese but common sense should tell you that it is impossible to make anyone on this earth do anything without their own will being involved.Don't believe me than keep living
2007-04-10 07:38:09 · answer #9 · answered by spiritualism0 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make it a habit to call on her regularly WITHOUT your boyfriend. Invite her to come shopping with you. Phone her and tell her to come over for coffee. Become her friend......
2007-04-10 07:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Honey W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋